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experimentalDeity — Homestuck Movie 1 Part 1 Script
Published: 2012-01-30 04:37:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 12809; Favourites: 56; Downloads: 26
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{Music: Homestuck}A star field fades in.
The Sburb logo, a house seperated into squares, appears, glowing green
HOMESTUCK
The Zodiac constellations glow in a rainbow of color, Cancer glowing grey.
BASED ON THE WEBCOMIC PHENOMENON BY ANDREW HUSSIE
Approach the center of the zodiac circle, passing through the outer solar system, as the other VA's appear alongside each planet. Zoom in on Earth’s Pacific Ocean.
ACT ONE: THE NOTE DESOLATION PLAYS
Approach Jade's Island with its Frog Temple in the Pacific, southwest of Baker Island. The Space symbol, resembling a white spiral galaxy, appears with Jade's VA.
Next is Dave's apartment in Houston Texas. The Time symbol, a red gear with ten spokes and Dave's VA appear.
Heading north to Rainbow Falls, New York, it's Rose's home. The Yellow sun symbol for Light and Rose's VA appear and fade.
Cross the country to John's house in Washington. The symbol for Breath appears with John's VA then both dissolve in a gust of wind.
One of the windows of the house is open. It is an adolescent boy's bedroom window; several movie posters adorn the walls, a brightly-coloured and decorated chest sits in the corner, and a powered-off desktop computer rests on a desk. The owner of the room, JOHN EGBERT, sleeps soundly in his bed. John is a boy with unruly black hair and a noticeable overbite. Heavy glasses sit on his nightstand. On the opposite side of the room, a middle-aged man wearing a fedora opens the door and checks on John; this is his DAD.
DAD: John, I'm off to the store for a few minutes.
The boy mumbles in his sleep and rolls over.
DAD: Happy Birthday, son.
Dad puts a rolled up poster on the table next to the door and another present in the chest, then exits the room. John wakes up, heading over to the calendar.
JOHN: Heheh, happy birthday to me!
He heads back to the bedside table, evading a hammer and some nails as he moves on. He picks up the poster, unrolling it just a bit.
JOHN: Con Air! Sweet!
Before he can finish saying "sweet" an array of cards fly up from the desk, the poster being added into one of them. The cards then flutter around the room before falling to the floor. One hits the hammer, and it is added to the card. The same thing happens with the nails. They then arrange themselves into a neat stack on the floor.
JOHN: Ah man! My Sylladex!
He picks up the stack, noticing he's unable to shuffle through them.
JOHN: Stupid Stack Modus. (sighs) Combine hammer, nail and poster cards.
All three then appear on the top card. He moves over to the empty space on the wall.
JOHN: Use on wall.
The poster then appears on the wall, and only the hammer is left on the card. John then looks up as he hears a noise, the mail truck arriving. He puts the cards in his pocket (where they disappear) and picks up a note attached to the screen of his computer and reads it aloud:
JOHN: “Dear John Egbert: Congratulations! You and three others have been selected to test play a new game known as SBURB! You should be receiving two discs containing the game in the mail very soon. We look forward to hearing back from you soon.
Yours sincerely, The Skaianet Company.
Putting the letter in his pocket, John goes out to pick up the mail knowing that his dad is off.
JOHN: It’s a good opportunity to avoid him for a while.
John heads downstairs and sees two presents. Opening the smaller one, he finds a strap designed to hold something long and thin on his back.
JOHN: I wonder what this thing is for.
Putting the strap on, he opens the larger gift, which is a giant armless harlequin doll.
JOHN: Ugh, Dad! You know I don't like these things!
As if on cue, Dad pulls into the driveway.
JOHN: Crap!
John slips back upstairs quickly as Dad walks through to the kitchen, pausing to sit the doll up on the couch. John goes outside to get the mail, only to find Dad has gotten it first, leaving the server disc in his car on accident.
JOHN: Damn it. Dad picked up the mail! Now how am I supposed to play?
John facepalms as he looks through the kitchen window, to see the other envelope and a red package. Dashing back upstairs, John grabs a few smoke pellets, a bottle of glue, and a fake arm from the chest, not noticing the present. Going back downstairs, he glues the arm to the harlequin doll, talking to himself while doing so.
JOHN: What’s that red package? Is it from one of my friends, or for dad?
He lobs the pellets into the kitchen, and almost instantly, the smoke alarm begins beeping. Quickly, John grabs the package and disc. Rushing upstairs, he goes into the bathroom and opens the box with a razor. He then removes the Con Air bunny, practically squeeing, and reads the note.
DAVE: voice over “So hey,
Since it’s your B-day I had to get you back for the sick memorabilia you got me so I got you this god-awful thing and now I just know you’re standing there flipping your shit over it so you’re welcome.
It’s the actual gross bunny in the movie so that means nick cage actually grubbed it up with his clownish no talent fingers. I would suggest you put it somewhere and display it ironically but I know you’re dead serious about this ridiculous shit so you’ll probably sleep with the damn thing and nibble its ear and stuff.
But the weird thing is that’s what’s cool about you. You’re this naive guy like Pinocchio tumbled ass backwards off the turnip truck and started liking Ghostbusters. Then the fairy godmother kissed your nose or some shit and you turned out to be not made of wood and also pretty cool to talk to. one day your gooberish ways are gonna land you in a jam and I know I’m going to have to get you off the hook but it’s cool I got your back bro.
Then we'll meet and hug bump and get each other’s filthy wife beaters that much filthier so yeah
Peace dawg
TG”
The bunny falls to the ground and he quickly picks it up as it fades into reality once again. A noise then comes from his computer, signaling someone pestering him. He pops in the disc and opens Pesterchum. A spirogragh appears on the screen before being covered up by the Pesterchum window and ROSE LALONDE's face.
ROSE: I understand you as well as three others, including myself, have recently come into possession of the beta release of "The Game of the Year", as featured in respectable periodicals such as... (scowls) GameBro Magazine.
JOHN: Whoever told you that is a liar, Rose. A liar you should stop hitting on.
ROSE: (shrugs) What can I say. I have a weakness for insufferable pricks such as Mister Strider.
Transition to DAVE STRIDER, lying in his bed, asleep. It zooms in on his closed, uncovered eyes, which quickly open.
DAVE: My pimp senses are tingling.
Back to JOHN and ROSE:
JOHN: Not yet; Dad picked up the game with the mail, and it’s my birthday so he might have some "surprise" waiting for me. Especially since I threw smoke pellets into the kitchen.
ROSE: That seems to be a trustful thought considering that your dad pranks you a lot in sign of paternal love.
JOHN: True… anyway, I'm installing the game now.
ROSE: Finally, let me connect me with you… hold on a second.
The computer screen flashes the words "Sburb Server connection established.”
{DELETED SCENE: While Sburb installs, Dave and John chat}
JOHN: I’m connected now Rose!
ROSE: Good.
The cursor, basically a 3-D version of the Sburb Logo, appears in John's room and grabs the chest, emptying it and revealing the present.
JOHN: what’s that thing in my room?
ROSE: That would be the cursor I am using to manipulate your environment.
JOHN: wait so this game is like The Sims, but with real life?! (Confused face)
ROSE: Apparently so.
Rose sets the chest down on the roof, then expands a corner of the room and deploys the Totem Lathe there, placing the Alchemiter on the balcony.
JOHN: What’s that thing on my balcony? Seems interesting and cool!
ROSE: It's called an Alchemiter, apparently. I guess it has something to do with the Alchemy system of the game. And this next device is called a Cruxtruder. It provides a material needed to perform the aforementioned alchemy. The object I put in your room is called a totem Lathe. It carves the material so it can be used.
She then deploys the Cruxtruder so it blocks the front door.
JOHN: ROSE!! That was my front door!
ROSE: There was a door there?
JOHN: yes there was a door! The only door to go out!
ROSE: You have a back door, do you not? You can still exit the house.
JOHN: oh! You’re right. Well right now I don’t think I want to go out. Dad might be waiting to prank me or something.
ROSE: Then go check out the Cruxtruder.
JOHN: Okay!
John prepares to exit the room, and then notices the gift on the floor. Upon unwrapping it, he finds a PDA which is a deep blue with his initials on the back in sky blue.
JOHN: Huh? What’s this doing here?
The PDA has a message from Dad: Happy B-day, son! I am so proud of you.
JOHN: He is proud of me… well I actually didn’t expect that, but why would he tell me such a thing?
John installs Pesterchum 7.0 on the PDA.
JOHN: dad got me a PDA! I’m gonna continue the conversation using that now. Be right back.
ROSE: It´s a proper gift for you.
JOHN: Thanks!
John logs off the conversation on his computer, and opens his account there. He shrugs, opens the door and gets pied by Dad, who was standing right next to the door. The pie gets all over John’s face, covering his glasses with cream. Dad chuckles lightly.
DAD: That's for the smoke pellets.
JOHN: Ugh, Dad!
John attempts to whack Dad with the hammer. He easily dodges the blow and absconds to the study, glancing at the Cruxtruder for a brief moment in confusion. Shrugging, he enters the study.
JOHN: Argh! He went into the study! I need a shower.
John heads to the bathroom, followed by the cursor. John takes his clothes off and gets in the shower. A towel slips into the toilet, but when Rose tries to rescue said towel she rips out the toilet.
JOHN: ROSE!!! Put my toilet back!
ROSE: Oh, fuck. Sorry for that.
Rose repairs the floor and sets the toilet back in its place. John gets out of the shower and puts back on his Slimer tee and shorts, casually snatching the hammer from the sink. He heads down to the Cruxtruder and tries to turn the wheel.
JOHN: I can’t move this thing!
ROSE: John, what is that strap on your back for?
JOHN: I dunno. I think it’s for carrying something. Like how a ninja straps a sword to their back.
ROSE: Ah.
John heads to the laundry room and Rose helps him strap a sledgehammer to his back. Returning to the Cruxtruder, John removes the hammer from the sheath, struggling with its weight.
JOHN: Can you help me, Rose?
ROSE: Certainly.
The Cursor grabs the hammer's head and helps John swing it onto the wheel, spinning it free. The lid pops off. The Kernelsprite appears along with a bright blue cylinder, and the countdown begins.
JOHN: What is this thing counting down to? It’s creeping me out!
Miles away straight up, a spirogragh portal spits out a meteor.
The sprite floats over to the Harlequin doll sitting on the couch.
ROSE: Look at the Kernelsprite.
JOHN: what’s it doing?
The sprite dances around the harlequin doll.
JOHN: This thing, it’s messing around!
ROSE: According to some really poor walkthroughs, we’re supposed to put something in it.
The cursor picked up the doll and dropped it on the sprite, which flashesand reveals a slightly maimed Harlequin head with one arm, all tinted a light blue. Rose deploys a card with holes punched into it that has a blue apple image on it.
JOHN: What’s this for?
ROSE: I think you are supposed to put it into the Lathe, along with that blue cylinder.
JOHN: uh okay if you say so.
John grabs both and heads back to his room. He puts the card into the slot and the cylinder in the vice. The lathe carves the cylinder into a totem. John takes the totem before pulling out his PDA to pester Rose. Her face appears on the screen, although the picture is a bit fuzzy.
JOHN: Alright, I used the lathe to make this blue shapey thing. I'm guessing I take it back to the alchemixer?
A computer screen displays a video of JOHN holding up the totem.
ROSE: Yes that's corre--
Transition to corner of dimly lit room as Rose speaks. A silouette of Rose visible, the computer screen in front of her and slightly obscured. The app then goes into screensaver when she finishes speaking. She pushes her chair back and turns it towards the center of the room and gets up, her face still barely visible. Lightning illuminates the area, revealing the entire room in a pan shot, as well as her face. The lighting has adjusted so that we can see her more clearly, but still dim enough to be obvious that the power is out. She then reaches for her violin and a stand and begins to play. The music fades into the backround. The screen briefly flashes to john kissing his poster and back. Rose has put down her violin and is now looking out the window into a rainy day.
ROSE: sarcastic Well, this is just wonderful.
She lies back on her bed, rolling over to see a purple box sitting there. She reaches over, tempted to open it, before quickly setting it back down on the bed.
ROSE: No, no, no. Not now.
A drop of rain hits her nose. She looks up and sees the roof leaking. Frowning, she gets up, glancing around her room before looking out the window. The silhouette of the laboratory is visible, and a bit closer, the mausoleum that Jaspers rests in.
ROSE: Captchalogue violin and knitting bag.
The Tree fetch modus then appears on the screen, with the violin as the root and the knitting bag branching off to the left.
She turns to leave the room, running her hand across the book sitting on her desk. The title is easily visible, "Grimoire for Summoning the Zoologically Dubious."
ROSE: (quickly mutters) Captchalogue laptop and grimoire.
Her sylladex promptly auto-balanced itself, with the laptop as the root card. She then leaves, heading outside to the observatory. "House of Lalonde" begins playing as she scales up in some sort of montage. "PSYCHE" then appears, the point of view switching to Dave, sitting at his computer.
DAVE: OH SHIT. Anyway, lat--
"DOUBLE PSYCHEOUT" appears and the scene switches back to Rose, sitting in the lab, her laptop sitting on top of the grimoire, her items scattered around her. She peeks through the telescope, where a large number of small meteorites streak through a gap in the clouds. John appears onscreen, looking quite freaked out.
JOHN: Agh! I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna--
ROSE: Hush. You haven't used the totem yet. It will most likely create the item on the punch card.
JOHN: So... like, an apple?
ROSE: It seems to vary from session to session. In one instance it was describes as an... (Reads it very slowly) "eggy loking thign". (Shakes her head)
John quickly runs to the alchemiter, the countdown starting from 0:30. The alchemiter creates a tree, which drops an apple and disappears. He takes a bite just as the timer hits 0:00. Curtains close around the scene.
END OF ACT 1
Related content
Comments: 200
We at the film team are so very sorry! Life caught up with us, a potential Dave VA who is PERFECT won't respond... and we just need more writers for this thing...
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No worries, just wondering!
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And unfortunately, I ... homestuck-the-movie.deviantart…
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*yells at what little friends that know what homestuck is* OKAY JOY YOU BE DAVE WYN- WYNTER STOP SCREWING AROUND. JACK WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY JOHN WIG?! JAMEL HURRY UP WITH THE SET! YES I KNOW THAT!! Yeah make sure that hot chocoa has whipped cream this time... AGGGHHHH ISSAC WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHY DO YOU HAVE A BRO COSTUME ON?! RYAN STAPH LICKING THE ROSES!!! *Continues yelling*
ABOUT AN HOUR LATER.
(action! <-- a friend being karkat)
Jamel/DAD: blah blah lah.
I mumble.
and vola welcome to my set.
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i have an idea once act 3, act 3 intermission 1, and act 4,are done maybe you could do acts 5-6
and maybe i could be the visual artist for this script
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That's the idea...
I'm not even entirely positive on LA or CG yet! You sure?
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i think that live action is a good idea and yes I am sure
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But CGI would be easier to handle, especially considering how often people DIE in this comic... it would also be a better way to do God Tier powers!
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hm you are right about that
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Okay,I'll admit here and now,this is the best damn script I've seen for a Homestuck movie idea. But a few things bother me about it. I hope you'll take this as constructive criticism,I don't mean any rudeness. John wasn't given a PDA,he found his fathers,so I don't understand the need to change that. Also,the Harlequin was maimed because John picked up a bunch of glass from launching some stuff out his window,and when he tried to pick up more stuff near the doll,those glass shards flew out and cut the dolls eye and one arm off. Plus,John had 2 fake arms,not one,and put both onto the doll after he had them in his cake. And that's not even scratching the surface of the changes made to the storyline. Like I said,its a damned fine script,better than any I've seen,but I recommend going back and re-reading the first act of Homestuck to make sure you know what happened in canon. His father never gave him a PDA as a present,he never took a shower,and it took them MUCH longer to figure out what the totem lathe was,let alone the remainder of the equipment. To make my review shorter than originally intended,you cut the time by about 60% by not staying true to canon,when even with time being a factor to consider,you could easily add an extra 40% to it and cut the time by 20% instead of 60%. You've changed a lot of things,including a KEY detail: John had been expecting the disk for months,Dave already had two copies,and they had to BUY them. They didn't just win them. They bought them,which is important because pretense is a very important factor,and if you get the pretense wrong,you're going to make a lot of fans angry. Nobody wants you to turn into M. Night Shamalan. You've got great potential with skills like these,so please,do as much research as possible,don't stray TOO far from canon (I understand it is necessary to stray a bit and improvise a little but don't pull an M.N.S and make fire benders fire-dependant [basically dont change major details],okay? Stay as true to canon as possible.),and please,please,please make this movie the absolute best movie you can possibly make. Keep it up,don't quit on it,and remember: Research,and put the information gathered to good use.
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In the future, maybe tap enter every five or so sentences; walls of text like that are super-hard to read. Besides, I'm taking a break from the script and writing my own session fic.
Shower: John just woke up in the script and wants to feel clean. But I can PROBABLY remove that tiny little detail... maybe.
John's PDA: I don't feel like writing all the computer shenanigans, and so I'm not going to. Besides, I felt that Dad had gotten tired ofJohn "borrrowing" his, so he got his son one of his own. Secondly
Dave's disks: I was unaware of that minute detail, actually. However, aas mentioned in comic, this is the BETA of Sburb, and I felt, "they're alll technically play-testing it at first, right? So... why not have Skaianet send them each a copy of the beta and have them play it?" Don't worry, I PROMISE each disk will go through it's canonical journey. Meanning that John won't install has second disk until much later, Davee will strife for Bro's, Rose already installed both, and Jade will gett Dave's copies through the lotus time capsule. And I'm sorry, but HOW was that a key detail? Explain please.
Totem Lathe: The word "Rose" and the phrase "may be dim, but not an idiot" come to mind, but I can probably have Rosee explain what theey are. She has access to walkthroughs, after all.
I'm trying my best to stick to canon but its hard to do that. Especially wwith Act one.
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Okay,I can see the shower thing. Sorry,it was about 4 in the morning when I commented and I probably wasn't thinking the straightest at the time.
The PDA bit makes sense too. Johns dad probably would end up getting tired of having to look for his just to end up finding it drained of battery life in Johns room,so I can see the reasoning behind it.
Well,I guess that "minute detail" was actually off-topic (I am so sorry,I'm just going to try not to comment on anything at 4 in the morning from now on). Seeing as to how you never even really got a chance to mention Dave having two copies (I noticed this part was focused mainly on John,with some Rose in the mix) wouldn't come into play until later anyways,so I apologize for mentioning that (except for the fact that I somehow kinda sorta gave a bit of semi-pointless info,maybe? And,in case it helps,both of Daves copies were ruined by apple juice that was knocked over by a crow,which dave impaled with a shitty sword and launched the crow and sword together through a window because of a screwup with his modus. If that helps,then awesome! If not,oh well.)
The way the kids get the disks is a key detail because of the fact that if they never got them,
they would never play,and several times in the comic they refer back to the day they got them,
and how they got them,several times.
It's pretense,and without the proper pretense,it can make or break a storyline.
Pretense sets up the rest of the story,and if even one detail is off,
it has the potential to send the end product in the complete opposite direction.
I know it doesn't seem like a major detail,and maybe it's just me who feels that pretense is very important,
especially in adaptations (this is the script for a movie adaptation of Homestuck after all.).
But as far as I can tell,pretense is a big deal,and when making adaptations,the pretense should be extremely similar,if not exactly the same.Now,I'm not trying to tell you what to do. Your movie,your script,your hard work,your blood,sweat,and tears.
I can honestly say,I'd watch the fuck out of this as is. It's just that I noticed you wanted critiques,
So that's what I'm doing. You've done an amazing job on this,and if you think my critique is flawed,or
if you think I'm wrong about something,then I won't be complaining. I'll still be right there to watch the movie ASAP! ^.^
That said,take into consideration what I've said,and do with it what you will. I'll trust your judgement.
I can tell from the script that you understand this sort of thing much better than I.
Good luck with your movie,I hope to see the final product,and I hope I have either helped or done nothing (I'd hate to hinder.) for it.
I hope you have a good day! ^.^
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The shower scene and bits up to it could probs be reworked a bit to give john an excuse to shower...
the way each kid actually gets his or her destined set is super-mega-heavy-duty important. I wouldn't dare change how theyrecieve them in the end. The source, as I read in my Homestuck books, did not fully matter. Hussie didn't elaborate, so neither did I. Out of curiosity, where did it mention that Bro or Dave bought their copies? I'm getting book 3 for Christmas, but thanks for the reminder!
I'm thinking about adding those oil bits, as well as future John's cameo during his Entry...
I seriously enjoy critiques that make me identify errors! I seriously want this to be this to be as perfect as Ra will allow!
Thanks, and next time, sleep, THEN comment!
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Haha,no problem! Well rested and feeling great right now! Anyways,my source is the homestuck comic on the mspaintadventures web page. According to that,in a chat between John and Dave,Dave says he already has two,and then later on,when it shows dave in his room,the narrator (basically the tons of text below the picture) talks about how dave and bro each having two copies is part of their game of ironic one-upmanship. If you want to check me,just go to the mspaintadventures and look around for the parts I've mentioned.
Also,when you say "future John's cameo"...It's my personal opinion that such a thing could be a great way to foreshadow major events in the future. Although,I hope you don't intend for present John to notice Future John,seeing as to how that could mess up the timeline (unless you choose to ignore such time-related shenanigans.) in big ways. Anyways,I don't think that you should trust any one source as a totally accurate 100% reliable hub of information. Check the books,check forums,check the official site,ask the opinions of fans (which you already asked for critiques,so you got that one down!),and so on and so forth! Get as many sources as you can,and then compar how reliable each one is until you find three or four that are reliable a high majority of the time!
Also,I was hoping we could discuss something in private. If you're willing to speak to me in private messaging,please let me know. Again,I hope this movie takes off,and I hope it becomes the official Homestuck movie,because,in all honesty,this is (as I have stated before) the best script I have seen so far. Good luck,and send me a note if you're willing to speak in private.
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I gathered that was the source, I meant specific page...
And of course he's not gonna notice!
Oh, of course we can talk in private.
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Sorry,with all this,it's hard to cite specific pages,but I'll check the comic when I wake up tomorrow so I can find you some links.
Okay!
Thank you!
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Thanks! Glad I got rid of those camera instructions!
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Glad I started reading this stuff.
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Glad you like it!
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Dave is one of my favorite characters too.
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I wish I could make it happen.But I'm still a newb at models and animations.
Sorry I couldn't help.
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Get me Homestuck book 3, several million bucks, and everyone on my VA list for the script, and MAYBE it'll happen.
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Working on it friend, patience is required though.
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You know I was partially joking, right?
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Key words, partially
as was I friend, although it would be pretty awesome
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Yes.
Hell yes.
Hell.
Fucking.
Yes.
Seriously, if this was a movie, I'd watch the shit out of it. This is amazing!
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Thank you so much! I'm working on Act 3 now!
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That's great! I can't wait to see it! :3
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It might be awhile, since my co-author hasn't responded in weeks.
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Thanks! Now to work on Act 3.
But before I resume... could you do me a teensy little favor?
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And what might the favor be?
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Desscribe the bass Jade played in [s] Jade: Dream up extra Arms
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It was a grey bass that had two parts for the keyboard attached, two separate necks, what seems to be a mixer attached underneath the second neck, sliding buttons near the lower keyboard, and knobs situated near the necks, keyboards, and mixer.
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You're quite welcome!
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When it's done, MAYBE (with Mr. Hussie's approval, of course!) I'll show it to a movie company. But if M. Night touches it, I'll have to burn it and print out a new copy.
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