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Exploding-kitty — insatiable
Published: 2004-12-15 12:50:45 +0000 UTC; Views: 152; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 12
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Description
we stood in the drizzle (it reminded me of england) andi told you the
rain looked pretty in the street light
we walked awkwardly
(you moved so slow and avoided my eyes)
i hadn't seen you in weeks
(you looked so good)
and when i asked you up
you agreed nervously (it just wasnt the same feeling)
you told me that being physical just leads to broken hearts
(i thought emotion)
i missed you
and wanted to feel you touch me
(fuck me)
i was wet when you left
and your leaving hug left me very
unfulfilled
(you always did say i was insatiable)
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Comments: 9
know how that feels, knock on wood. I think this is amazing and I love your use of parenthesis. awesome
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thank you thank you thank you!!!! I'm glad you took a little from it, and thank you from commenting!
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It's very good. Very strong and emotional work. You're good with getting true emotion in your poems, I've heard people complaining on poems being to personal but to get true emotion the best way to get it is from yourself, no?
By the way, did you notice that, in the introduction, you wrote that screwing around was a bed idea? A bed-idea in other words... Freudian perhaps?
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I did not notice that! thanks for pointing it out... that is amusing. Thanks for liking how personal I am... I don't believe in making shit up to write, I don't think the writing is as strong if you do that. Plus, I figure write what you know... you agree?
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I do. And it obviously yeild impressive results for some people.
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you have no idea how well i can relate to this. the exact same thing happened to me...except we did end up sleeping together (i have no will power). only one suggestion with this one, nothing bad at all...wondering if the last line would sound better as "You always said I was insatiable". it seemed too long, but its just a thought. i hate critizing others work b/c you wrote it the way you felt it at the time. so feel free to ignore me
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thank you very much for the comment! I would never ignore your opinions, you are a constant supporter of my work, so I value your opinions pretty high. Originally it was "you always said I was insatiable", but I didn't think it flowed as well with the poem, perhaps I was wrong. Thank you again!!!!! *mwah*
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