HOME | DD
Exploding-kitty — my heart whispers your name
Published: 2005-01-15 05:58:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 123; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 4
Redirect to original
Description
i am listening to sad songs(the acoustic guitar makes my heart weep)
and i find myself walking down
abandoned corridors, everyone has deserted for warm
rooms and philisophical discussions
and i catch myself whispering your name
i can't stop whispering your name
this gut wrenching pain swims in my heart
never disappearing, never leaving
and i am always scared to see you
(how i want to see you always)
and i am full of noise and clutter
and people are yelling and disturbing
my quiet heartache
girls in tight pants and now that i have
had my heart broken
can i have my second chance?
Related content
Comments: 10
I think this poem is amazing, and defintely could be felt by yours truly. (been there) and I loved the little rhyme at the end, too. I love the image that was portrayed. I saw a girl in a hallway (the corridors, part, I imagine is what did that) and she's stuck in her memories and can't stop thinking about the person she lost. It's like she's escaped into another world to remember, but there are so many things trying to mess that up --
"and i am full of noise and clutter
and people are yelling and disturbing
my quiet heartache"
and I just love the whole feel and it's like that emotion is just too strong to do anything and you think nothing can make you better, but you realize that exactly what would make you better is to have back what you lost -- "can i have my second chance?" 
psh on my philosophies, lol.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you so much! Wow! I am so happy you could relate and you took something from this. My goal is always to get out my feelings, and to hopefully have someone take something from the writing, and I am so happy that you were able to do that! Thank you again for all the love!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
wow, yea, the title caught my eye right away too. heart is a word that has been used so much but it fit so well in the way you wrote it. let's see...wonderful images from excellent word use. oh yea, and i loved the little ryhme at the end. i do this sometimes too. love it!
oh, would the word 'abondoned' go better on the line above? i was just wondering cuz as i read it, the sentence seemed to end abruptly and left a half thought. i dunno...god, listen to me, im telling other ppl how to write when im the worst.
*blah*.......ignore me
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
hey that's not true! don't put yourself down! Which part do you think abandoned would be better for? Thank you for the comment and the favorite! always very appreciated!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
no problem. i love your poetry. as for the word 'abondoned'. i suggested putting it on the sentence above it, you know, just backspacing til you get to the line before that one, so abondoned would be one line above where it used to be, and the rest of that sentence would stay on the line below. sorry, im no good at explaining things lol...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I was drawn to the title instantly...
It's not sappy--it's understandable. (*points at stoopid self*) And good--ironic, almost.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thanks for commenting! how is your writing going lately?
and how is it kind of ironic? lemme know, I'm insterested!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Just contradictory in some ways...due to the conflicting emotions you portray. Your uncertainty.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oh, I understand. Yeah, okay that makes sense! Hey I loved your new writings!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1