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exploding-man — Remorsefull Dream
Published: 2004-12-21 00:11:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 275; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 10
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Description I woke up from a dream tonight.
I never want this feeling again.
Melancholy remorse.
Painful regret.

Shadows from the past remind me,
my opportunities are lost for good.
No looking back.
Beyond repair.

I can only look forward.
I cannot repeat those mistakes again.
Unmade friends.
Love never had.
Comments: 6

SonicLife [2005-01-26 01:55:50 +0000 UTC]

hey now...very very good...except the line "Shadows from the past remind me"...its just a little cliche'...let me guess your dream...its about a girl you had...or almost had...and in the dream you hurt her...one way or another...or she hurt you...let me know if im right...or completely wrong

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exploding-man In reply to SonicLife [2005-01-26 06:12:10 +0000 UTC]

Heh, but the cliche' fits. I will watch out for that in the future though.

Oh, and I feel that the point of poetry is for personal meaning. It means to you what it means to you. I could be literal and say exactly what the dream was. But what is the fun in that? Its not good poetry, but I don't wish to ruin it.

Thank you very much for the comment.

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kinyokushugisha [2005-01-11 10:41:32 +0000 UTC]

yeah... i've felt that way.. actually it's right on it up until 'unmade friends. love never had'.. yeah
well, this is pretty simple but good.. it could make a better long lyric, but that's just what i think...
i visited your page cause i saw the 'i dare someone to submit a picture of a bag of crack' comment.. lol.. lame!
well, good luck with your future poetry..

peace

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exploding-man In reply to kinyokushugisha [2005-01-12 07:40:45 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the comment.

Like said, its just for the sake of practice. Sooner or later I hope to have some better stuff down.

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kinyokushugisha In reply to exploding-man [2005-01-13 11:30:17 +0000 UTC]

true.. well, just keep it around in case you wanna do something more with it.. i have so many of those..

allright! .. *sigh .. my stomach.....


later

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c0ldblood3db1tch [2004-12-21 03:33:56 +0000 UTC]

It's so sad, but I know the feeling.

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