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ExterminatorExploder — So This is Goodbye... - PewdieCry
Published: 2013-07-24 03:46:24 +0000 UTC; Views: 1553; Favourites: 13; Downloads: 0
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Description Within half an hour you...
Will be gone and I won't see you anymore...
You left my love on the run...
And you said that you were leaving, and you won't come home again.

"We're moving to England! Isn't that cool?"
He had been so happy about it... Sure, I should have been too, but... England was kinda far away. Which Sweden and Italy had been far too but... This time, in a different sense. He was going move there for the rest of the Summer, and of course, what better place to propose than in England? And of course, I had smiled and congratulated him. It was high time he and Marzia settled down, got married, start a family... No, no. I don't mind. As long as he's still in my life at least a little bit, I'll be content. As content as I can make myself look. I bet if he has kids, they'll be beautiful. I'm so happy for him. So happy. I promise. No, I'm not lying. Why would I lie? I'm just... Stretching the truth. Happiness is an emotion, just like sadness... My love can just be buried alive... It'll still be there, just buried. It had tried so hard to stay surfaced, going strong, but in the end it was thrown a curve ball. He's leaving soon.

And I'll miss you like you're dead...
But I never got to grieve you...
'Cause I saw you...
In the arms of someone else.

I miss him so much... He left yesterday, you know. I got to say goodbye, over a Skype call. Well, not goodbye, just a good luck. With moving, and... His idea. He said as soon as they got all their things in, that he would pop the big question. He's gone now, I suppose... Sworn to her. Before he had to hang up, she came up and hugged him, and kissed him, saying they probably needed to go. I had smiled, casting him a vague wink that Marzia would only take a friendship, and not anything deeper, or giving him good luck for anything. I wish. I wish... Do you have any idea how much it hurts? You do? Have you ever been in such a love, but you can't have them? No answer, hm? I didn't think so... At least I never told him about these feelings, so I wouldn't be rejected so painfully... Now I guess I'll never have that closure.

So your phantom follows me...
Like a child would his mother...
Or a lover who never said goodbye...
It's only saying goodbye.

You realize I'll never stop loving him, right? He will never stop following me. His memory, his essence, his possibility to be mine... But he's getting married. Heh. Married. Where two beings come together as one for the rest of their lives in holy matrimony. It's a scary thought for us guys, you know? It's funny, we're all growing up so quickly, and I didn't even have time to find a girlfriend before he got married... I could never hold one. Ah, jeez... I'm rambling, aren't I? I'm sorry. You're just saying it's fine so that I'll feel better but... You know. I don't. I mean, I need to shut up... It's only goodbye, right? Not even goodbye. He's just getting together with someone. I'll still see him. Less, and less, though I'll still see him. Sometimes.

And I cry myself to sleep...
And you thought I was happy...
I was lonely...
Had nowhere to go.

How have I been doing? Good. Is that a lie? Yes. Yes it is. Have I been sleeping? No, I haven't. I have, kind of, but... Sometimes my pillow gets too wet and uncomfortable. My friends? Yeah. They don't know I talk to you. They don't know I'm so upset. Nobody does, except you. They really think I'm happy, you know? I'm gonna be honest with you: I wasn't going to come here. I mean, I didn't think I needed you... But I was lonely, you know? I couldn't tell my friends, or family, or anyone else... I guess you were the next best thing.

And I heard that you moved on...
Found a brand new family...
And changed your married name...
And everything has changed.

Hi. It's been a while, hasn't it? Six whole months... Marzia said yes. But that was a long time ago, wasn't it... The wedding is in six or seven months. And guess what: She's pregnant. Of course they moved back to Italy, to their old place. They were only staying in England for a couple months, until the end of Summer. I'm just so happy for them. I said that before? Of course I did... I really need to stop lying, huh? Now that everything has changed, me and Pewds talk less. He calls me about once every one or two weeks, now that he has to take care of Marzia, and planning, and things like that... I miss him, you know?

And I'll miss you like you're dead...
And find a way to grieve you...
'Cause I need to...
Try and start again.

I really, really miss him. I know, I know, I need to... Try to move on, try and go on with my life. How am I ever going to be happy again if I stay hung up on a guy that promised his heart to another? That is having a child, and is going to start a family with them? I know... I can't be happy like that. I have to tell him about things, and my friends, and everything else, don't I? It's so hard, though. I need to find someone else? Like who? Who would want me... He seemed to be the only one who really, truly excepted me. Problems and all. Everything that ever happened to me, he was there to make me smile. Play a game with me, make me happy, but... That chapter is over, I guess. I just... Need to end it. Not that way, I-I swear. I need closure though so I can start again with my life.

And your ghost will have to leave...
Like a child would his mother...
Or a lover...
Who has to say goodbye...
So this is goodbye.

The wedding was yesterday. He looked wonderful. Marzia's so close to having her baby, but she still looks beautiful. But... I didn't cry, or anything. People were talking to me all day, but I couldn't understand a lot of them. I had to fly out to Italy. A few of our mutual friends and stuff like that, so I at least had them to talk to. What about confessing everything? Yeah... I did that. That night. We were finally alone and everything and... It felt good to say everything aloud, but in the end... He shot me down, of course. He said he was sorry, and I promised we could still be friends, and he said this wouldn't change a thing between us. I don't know about him, but so much has changed already... I guess in the end it really was goodbye, huh? ...What's that? N-no, no... I'm not crying. I think this is the last time we'll be meeting. Thanks for all your help, doc. Please don't be surprised if you see me on the News, or in the paper. You did all you could. No, please, don't pry. Tell everyone I said goodbye.

So this is goodbye...
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Comments: 62

pestalovewalibi In reply to ??? [2013-07-25 22:17:31 +0000 UTC]

Aaaand

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

DragonBoyLockheart In reply to ??? [2013-07-25 20:55:31 +0000 UTC]

OHMYGOD. ;A;
POOR CRY-
DON'TDOITBITCH-

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ExterminatorExploder In reply to DragonBoyLockheart [2013-07-25 21:20:02 +0000 UTC]

IDIDIT-

IKR POORCRY.

IFELTBADWRITINGIT.

BUTTHESONGMANG-

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DragonBoyLockheart In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-07-25 21:55:04 +0000 UTC]

;A;
WRITEANOTHERANGSTYONE.
Do one fooooorr. . .
. . .
How To Save A Life

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ExterminatorExploder In reply to DragonBoyLockheart [2013-07-25 22:00:40 +0000 UTC]

ICANTRY.

Same P.O.V as this one~?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DragonBoyLockheart In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-07-25 22:02:29 +0000 UTC]

yuuuus.
REQUEST ME SOMETHING I'M BORED- //shot

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ExterminatorExploder In reply to DragonBoyLockheart [2013-07-25 22:05:20 +0000 UTC]

EH-

Draw Skully and Gonzales o3o

Gully.

Skonzales~

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DragonBoyLockheart In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-07-25 22:13:45 +0000 UTC]

you honesty don't know how hard I just laughed.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ExterminatorExploder In reply to DragonBoyLockheart [2013-07-25 22:14:28 +0000 UTC]

We shall now refer to that as Skonzales XDD

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DragonBoyLockheart In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-07-25 22:20:12 +0000 UTC]

//BRBDYING-

GoddammitExi. XDD

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ExterminatorExploder In reply to DragonBoyLockheart [2013-07-25 22:21:52 +0000 UTC]

XDD

👍: 0 ⏩: 0


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