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ExterminatorExploder β€” So This is Goodbye... - PewdieCry
Published: 2013-07-24 03:46:24 +0000 UTC; Views: 1553; Favourites: 13; Downloads: 0
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Description Within half an hour you...
Will be gone and I won't see you anymore...
You left my love on the run...
And you said that you were leaving, and you won't come home again.

"We're moving to England! Isn't that cool?"
He had been so happy about it... Sure, I should have been too, but... England was kinda far away. Which Sweden and Italy had been far too but... This time, in a different sense. He was going move there for the rest of the Summer, and of course, what better place to propose than in England? And of course, I had smiled and congratulated him. It was high time he and Marzia settled down, got married, start a family... No, no. I don't mind. As long as he's still in my life at least a little bit, I'll be content. As content as I can make myself look. I bet if he has kids, they'll be beautiful. I'm so happy for him. So happy. I promise. No, I'm not lying. Why would I lie? I'm just... Stretching the truth. Happiness is an emotion, just like sadness... My love can just be buried alive... It'll still be there, just buried. It had tried so hard to stay surfaced, going strong, but in the end it was thrown a curve ball. He's leaving soon.

And I'll miss you like you're dead...
But I never got to grieve you...
'Cause I saw you...
In the arms of someone else.

I miss him so much... He left yesterday, you know. I got to say goodbye, over a Skype call. Well, not goodbye, just a good luck. With moving, and... His idea. He said as soon as they got all their things in, that he would pop the big question. He's gone now, I suppose... Sworn to her. Before he had to hang up, she came up and hugged him, and kissed him, saying they probably needed to go. I had smiled, casting him a vague wink that Marzia would only take a friendship, and not anything deeper, or giving him good luck for anything. I wish. I wish... Do you have any idea how much it hurts? You do? Have you ever been in such a love, but you can't have them? No answer, hm? I didn't think so... At least I never told him about these feelings, so I wouldn't be rejected so painfully... Now I guess I'll never have that closure.

So your phantom follows me...
Like a child would his mother...
Or a lover who never said goodbye...
It's only saying goodbye.

You realize I'll never stop loving him, right? He will never stop following me. His memory, his essence, his possibility to be mine... But he's getting married. Heh. Married. Where two beings come together as one for the rest of their lives in holy matrimony. It's a scary thought for us guys, you know? It's funny, we're all growing up so quickly, and I didn't even have time to find a girlfriend before he got married... I could never hold one. Ah, jeez... I'm rambling, aren't I? I'm sorry. You're just saying it's fine so that I'll feel better but... You know. I don't. I mean, I need to shut up... It's only goodbye, right? Not even goodbye. He's just getting together with someone. I'll still see him. Less, and less, though I'll still see him. Sometimes.

And I cry myself to sleep...
And you thought I was happy...
I was lonely...
Had nowhere to go.

How have I been doing? Good. Is that a lie? Yes. Yes it is. Have I been sleeping? No, I haven't. I have, kind of, but... Sometimes my pillow gets too wet and uncomfortable. My friends? Yeah. They don't know I talk to you. They don't know I'm so upset. Nobody does, except you. They really think I'm happy, you know? I'm gonna be honest with you: I wasn't going to come here. I mean, I didn't think I needed you... But I was lonely, you know? I couldn't tell my friends, or family, or anyone else... I guess you were the next best thing.

And I heard that you moved on...
Found a brand new family...
And changed your married name...
And everything has changed.

Hi. It's been a while, hasn't it? Six whole months... Marzia said yes. But that was a long time ago, wasn't it... The wedding is in six or seven months. And guess what: She's pregnant. Of course they moved back to Italy, to their old place. They were only staying in England for a couple months, until the end of Summer. I'm just so happy for them. I said that before? Of course I did... I really need to stop lying, huh? Now that everything has changed, me and Pewds talk less. He calls me about once every one or two weeks, now that he has to take care of Marzia, and planning, and things like that... I miss him, you know?

And I'll miss you like you're dead...
And find a way to grieve you...
'Cause I need to...
Try and start again.

I really, really miss him. I know, I know, I need to... Try to move on, try and go on with my life. How am I ever going to be happy again if I stay hung up on a guy that promised his heart to another? That is having a child, and is going to start a family with them? I know... I can't be happy like that. I have to tell him about things, and my friends, and everything else, don't I? It's so hard, though. I need to find someone else? Like who? Who would want me... He seemed to be the only one who really, truly excepted me. Problems and all. Everything that ever happened to me, he was there to make me smile. Play a game with me, make me happy, but... That chapter is over, I guess. I just... Need to end it. Not that way, I-I swear. I need closure though so I can start again with my life.

And your ghost will have to leave...
Like a child would his mother...
Or a lover...
Who has to say goodbye...
So this is goodbye.

The wedding was yesterday. He looked wonderful. Marzia's so close to having her baby, but she still looks beautiful. But... I didn't cry, or anything. People were talking to me all day, but I couldn't understand a lot of them. I had to fly out to Italy. A few of our mutual friends and stuff like that, so I at least had them to talk to. What about confessing everything? Yeah... I did that. That night. We were finally alone and everything and... It felt good to say everything aloud, but in the end... He shot me down, of course. He said he was sorry, and I promised we could still be friends, and he said this wouldn't change a thing between us. I don't know about him, but so much has changed already... I guess in the end it really was goodbye, huh? ...What's that? N-no, no... I'm not crying. I think this is the last time we'll be meeting. Thanks for all your help, doc. Please don't be surprised if you see me on the News, or in the paper. You did all you could. No, please, don't pry. Tell everyone I said goodbye.

So this is goodbye...
Related content
Comments: 62

ExterminatorExploder In reply to ??? [2013-10-31 22:45:05 +0000 UTC]

That's the plan, friend. I was a god once; but then I thought, "meh." x3

You're quite welcome. Looking back upon this, it's shorter than I would have liked it to be, but I'm glad you enjoyed it ^^

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camilionkd In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-11-02 04:26:34 +0000 UTC]

Well, obviously you still obtain some godly attributes.

Well, I think it's a pretty alright length. I couldn't have enjoyed it if you didn't write it, though. So thank you.

I'm partially worried about how Pewds would react to Cry's suicide though. :c

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to camilionkd [2013-11-03 03:11:56 +0000 UTC]

Quite welcome.

Not well. Especially after the confession ;3;

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camilionkd In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-11-04 22:20:44 +0000 UTC]

Ouch. I can't even begin to imagine how that might affect him.

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to camilionkd [2013-11-05 16:59:40 +0000 UTC]

"He feel into a deep depression, never telling his new child of the man who had once loved him; the man who he had fallen out of love with."


You can have this.

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camilionkd In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-11-06 01:54:33 +0000 UTC]

I think I made an inhuman noise of anguish while reading that. ;n;

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to camilionkd [2013-11-06 14:16:14 +0000 UTC]

Didn't we all ;3;

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camilionkd In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-11-06 18:41:09 +0000 UTC]

It was a nice sentence/drabble, though. Hats off to you, ma'am.

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to camilionkd [2013-11-06 23:22:36 +0000 UTC]

*tips fadora*

Quite.

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camilionkd In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-11-07 02:37:48 +0000 UTC]

Indeed.

Ps. Your other fics are well written, too. <3

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to camilionkd [2013-11-07 14:10:26 +0000 UTC]

I don't feel good about my old ones, but what can you do. People seem to like them~ I'm actually leaving the fanfiction world.

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camilionkd In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-11-07 18:01:09 +0000 UTC]

Well, they're pretty good, no matter what you might think.

Oh? Why is that? If you don't mind my inquiry, that is. ;;

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to camilionkd [2013-11-07 18:18:46 +0000 UTC]

x3 Thanks.

And I feel like I should start getting serious, if that makes sense. I'm currently writing some called "Pulchritudinous Ego", which is sort of real-world. Anyhow, I just get tired of the same repetitive thing, you know? I love you, Β I don't love you, I have a crush on you... I love it, really, and I still enjoy the fandoms, but I just need something new.

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camilionkd In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-11-08 00:36:33 +0000 UTC]

Ah, yes, I think I understand what you mean. Choosing to write actual fictions rather than fanfictions? "Sort of real-world" seems a bit vague, though.

Yes, that makes sense. Sometimes, you just have to get away from the fandoms, some way or another. But with all the repetitive stories, it makes original stories all that much better.

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to camilionkd [2013-11-08 04:35:01 +0000 UTC]

I suppose "real-world" was a bad term, apologies x3

I'm actually taking much longer than I would like with editing and actual writing on the story, but I know it'll be worth it once it's finally uploaded. I actually have a sort of mentor to review my work and suggest things to me

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camilionkd In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-11-08 05:50:54 +0000 UTC]

Oh, I see.

Sort of like a beta reader, then?

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to camilionkd [2013-11-08 05:53:20 +0000 UTC]

Mhm. It's very helpful.

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camilionkd In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-11-08 06:43:21 +0000 UTC]

Yes, I'd imagine it would be.

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halocrystal99 [2013-09-03 10:54:18 +0000 UTC]

Once nearing to the end, I think I was on the verge of tears. But I couldn't cry, because I was singing and rapping the whole thing!

Beautiful story. Truly.

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to halocrystal99 [2013-09-03 14:28:13 +0000 UTC]

Why thank you x3

It really does make me smile when I get such positive feedback, even when I feel utterly terrible.Β 

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Haileybuscus123 [2013-08-24 04:37:18 +0000 UTC]

On the verge of tears. Holy crap.

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to Haileybuscus123 [2013-08-29 15:08:52 +0000 UTC]

Nuu, don't cry~ x3 I feed on sorrow.

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Haileybuscus123 In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-09-03 04:12:47 +0000 UTC]

QAQ THAT MAKES ME CRY EVEN MORE! You have powers my friend XD

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to Haileybuscus123 [2013-09-03 14:28:27 +0000 UTC]

XDD I wouldn't say that.

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Haileybuscus123 In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-09-03 15:05:24 +0000 UTC]

I would You are a wizard.

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to Haileybuscus123 [2013-09-03 18:23:33 +0000 UTC]

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Haileybuscus123 In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-09-04 00:38:05 +0000 UTC]

MAJESTIC AS FUCK XD

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to Haileybuscus123 [2013-09-04 13:45:25 +0000 UTC]

XD AWWUH YISS.

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Haileybuscus123 In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-09-04 21:57:24 +0000 UTC]

*clap clap* Write a fanfic just for me, bro. For Pewdiecry month. I need you to write me one or I will die! You wouldn't want that on your record would you? QAQ

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

ExterminatorExploder In reply to Haileybuscus123 [2013-09-04 23:40:25 +0000 UTC]

Ahh, PewdieCry month is also my birth month~! I was born for this.

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Haileybuscus123 In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-09-05 13:22:01 +0000 UTC]

... I don't think you know how unbelievably jealous I am right now... (οΏ£^οΏ£)γ‚ž I'm also surprised that I spelt unbelievably right on my first try. Anyways... Make me fanfiction! XD

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to Haileybuscus123 [2013-09-05 14:17:21 +0000 UTC]

X3 Well I already have two requests from a friend, song-fics for How to Save a Life and another one I shall not share, so those'll be coming up soon ^^

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Haileybuscus123 In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-09-05 21:43:22 +0000 UTC]

I want one for me and my friend Cry. :m That's right... I said Cry.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

ExterminatorExploder In reply to Haileybuscus123 [2013-09-06 00:22:17 +0000 UTC]

x3 Well, do you have any specialities you want me to include? Like, a certain song, or theme, or something?

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Haileybuscus123 In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-09-06 19:06:21 +0000 UTC]

Bruises and Bitemarks XD JK. I don't really have any preferences. I want a strong story line and lots of smut :/ JK AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to Haileybuscus123 [2013-09-07 20:03:34 +0000 UTC]

Ooo, smut is one thing I've been requested xD

Bruises and Bite marks sounds excellent.

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Haileybuscus123 In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-09-08 21:51:05 +0000 UTC]

OMG If you could do a smut song fic with Bruises and Bitemarks, you would be my best friend FOREVER!

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madartsyst [2013-07-27 20:49:12 +0000 UTC]

Dude. FML. So sad!!!!! But I loved it!

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to madartsyst [2013-07-28 02:02:11 +0000 UTC]

I'm glad you liked it ^^Β 

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madartsyst In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-07-28 02:50:01 +0000 UTC]

Welcome! Lobe the icon man!

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caramel-dixon [2013-07-26 01:12:05 +0000 UTC]

HOLY FUCK.

I don't think I've ever been so emotional over a fan fiction in my life!Β 

Jesus Christ, this is great! Thank you so much for writing this. Seriously. D:

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

ExterminatorExploder In reply to caramel-dixon [2013-07-26 01:16:35 +0000 UTC]

That was a beautiful reaction.

Thank you! And thank you for reading, it means a lot to me when I get such positive feedback x3

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caramel-dixon In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-07-26 21:26:47 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome; you deserve it. ;w;

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TamashiiTaberuMono [2013-07-25 23:44:10 +0000 UTC]

I cried! I couldn't help it! ;^;Β I love it though, it really is amazingΒ Awesome job! *thumbs up*Β 

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to TamashiiTaberuMono [2013-07-25 23:46:25 +0000 UTC]

Thank you~ I hate making people cry, but love writing the angsty stuff~ x3Β 

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CrazyMarti [2013-07-25 22:46:25 +0000 UTC]

Naaaaaaaaaaa I can't cry! No! Don't do it eyes!

*eyes* - FUCK YOU * crieeeeeeeees *


;_; *sob* So beautiful and sad *sob*


ghtjnwbvHJKMWQdseagvwbarhr I love it! *sob*

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to CrazyMarti [2013-07-25 23:33:25 +0000 UTC]

Thank you~ I'm glad you liked it. ^^

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pestalovewalibi [2013-07-25 22:17:59 +0000 UTC]

(Stupid phone...) aaand goosebumps attack ;.;

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ExterminatorExploder In reply to pestalovewalibi [2013-07-25 22:20:44 +0000 UTC]

(S'okay x3) Attack of the Goosebumps... I'd watch that.

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pestalovewalibi In reply to ExterminatorExploder [2013-07-25 22:24:07 +0000 UTC]

NUUUUUUUUUW

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