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Published: 2014-04-08 14:11:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 9016; Favourites: 135; Downloads: 0
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He had much time on his hands - the Doctor - but that didn't mean he wished to spend it whittling away at small insignificant tasks. He needed to be saving worlds, defeating bad guys, saving companions, receiving kisses from his compan-He slapped his face to get him out of that thought pattern. It wasn't good. Many more fantasies like that and he'd practically be Jack Harkness.
It had been a while since he'd seen anyone that had travelled with him. He still yearned Amy and Rory's presence, and he was still torn up over what to feel about Clara, glad of the free time he had to think whilst she was away.
But he had too much free time, and he needed something to do.
Pacing the streets of darkening London was not on his to-do list.
Away from the hubbub of an awakening night-life in the city centre, the Doctor casually strolled down the pavements of the lesser seen residential London, home to the majority of its population, of which most would be settling down for another evening meal in front of evening TV which consisted of entertainment shows and crime dramas, the same stories repeated over and over again in a permanent loop of TV infinity.
The Doctor sighed, almost envying the simplicity of human lives. They only had one world to worry about and protect, and even the Doctor had to take over that job sometimes. However superior the human race believed themselves to be, they couldn't protect planet Earth - or Sol 3 - to save their lives, which was most often the case.
The human race, unique in the universe, had many faults, however glorious they are.
The Doctor held that thought as his vision involuntary followed the shadowed figure of a young girl marching down the road at quite some speed.
Her hands drawn inside the sleeves of her red duffle coat, she had her head bowed, her hood hanging low over her brow as she took deep breaths, watching each foot take their every step.
And the familiar sharp intake of a sad breath caught the Doctor's attention.
~~~
It had taken all your courage to march out of the house like you had, slamming the door behind you as you shoved the set of keys in your pocket.
Huffing, you shut your eyes as you forced yourself to focus, staring at your feet and losing any perception of reality you had, walking and walking onwards until you didn't know where you were.
But it didn't matter. You wouldn't be going back home for a while.
You took a moment to stare at your boyfriends house at the end of the road, scowling heavily as your heart stung sharply. You debated knocking on the door and staying at his for the night, but nothing good would come of it.
You hated him, and he only wanted your body. He didn't care about how you were, or what you'd done that day, and he'd never even ask and pretend to be interested. And it hurt how he'd ignore you-
You turned away sharply, exhaling heavily as you stormed on, your feet beginning to hurt as your body became an emotionless shell ready to explode, any feelings of love, fulfillment, pain, anguish, joy or happiness completely exiting your head.
You felt nothing but emptiness, even though you knew what you were meant to feel. You were meant to be sad, but you couldn't find that emotion within you, only finding a burning furnace of anger building in the depths of your heart.
It was almost as if life had become a process to you, waking and sleeping, eating because you knew you had to, drinking when you felt dizzy, working just to pass the time, smiling because people expected you to, unwilling to disappoint anyone and feeling only a great sadness that could be expelled too easily sometimes, but if you tried, you couldn't drop a tear.
And then you'd say a few words to someone, and you'd break.
And in that moment, everything that ever mattered would be meaningless, and you'd wish for nothing better than to be anywhere else but Earth.
And it hurt to think of those moments, knowing that the Earth you loved so much had been at the receiving end of your anger and fury. The thought of there being no Earth almost killed you when you were emotional, because there were tiny things that brought a smile to your face.
You blinked, realising that you were still walking and that you didn't know where you were. Your boots were muddy, and you thought you might have walked across a farmer's field, but it was hard to discern details of where you'd been.
Your breath involuntary hitched, and you shakily exhaled as you lifted your hooded head to see where you were.
Somewhere residential, right. You thought firmly to yourself.
You caught sight of a man on the opposite side of the road, seemingly watching you walk past with a slight frown settled above his eyes. He smiled, and you turned away, pausing before picking up the pace of rushing, your heart becoming a drumming band as you thought of all the girls they'd found dead on the crime shows you usually watched.
You began to shake. Apart from the cold, it terrified you to think of someone stalking you.
You heard footfalls on the other side of the road following you, footfalls that could only have come from the man you'd seen.
Who wears bow ties now anyways?
Your heart skipped a beat, feeling instantly nauseous as you felt lightheaded.
Oh no, oh no, oh no.
What if something happened to you, and no-one ever found you? What would your friends think?!
You felt even more sick than before, one footstep faltering slightly.
"Are you okay?" A voice that must have come from the following man echoed behind you.
Oh no, he's on my side of the road and he's going to abduct me!
You walked a little faster, your head hanging lower as he quickened his pace to match yours.
"Excuse me, you seem to be a bit upset..." The voice was soft and uninvasive, purely curious and concerned about you rather than the selfish tone you expected.
You mentally slapped yourself, telling yourself that it was a trick.
"I won't hurt you. I promise. I just want to know what's wrong." The soft voice coaxed.
Don't you DARE! You mentally screamed at yourself not to stop.
"Please...?" A last attempt almost begged.
His footsteps stopped.
Your feet hit the ground once...
Twice...
Thrice...
Stop.
A beautiful silence echoed around you, playing with the sensitivity of your ears. You could hear his calm breathing, waiting patiently for your next move.
You wanted to scream out and tell him about everything in your life, ending your mental conflict and letting your problems lie on someone else too so you could cope together, find a solution...
But you wouldn't do that. You wouldn't inflict that on someone.
A single string of letters made its way out of your mouth.
"Why do you care?" Your voice was too unstable for you to be happy with your confidence, narrowing your eyes as they stung with emotion waiting to be expressed.
You didn't turn around, waiting to hear what he said.
"I care..." There was a brief silence as he mentally battled himself over what to say. He wouldn't lie, since he knew somehow that you'd see straight through any false statements that came out of his mouth.
You waited patiently.
"I care because I like to see people smile." He wasn't happy with his answer, so he waited impatiently for you to reply.
"Not everyone will smile." You said emotionlessly. It wasn't hard to do.
"So why aren't you?" He asked almost instantly. It made you startle slightly, curling your hands tighter as your sharp nails provided some sort of comfort in the fact that you could still perceive pain and know what it felt like.
"Beca..." Your voice cut off momentarily, and you inwardly curse. Now he'd know you were distracted and probably upset. "Because I..." You didn't know what to say, and it was becoming increasingly harder to produce words.
Your mouth gaped before you slammed it shut, squeezing your eyes closed as your mum's most recent words to you stabbed your heart with pinpoint accuracy.
'You won't go anywhere in life because you're such a mean, horrible, awful person. You'll have no friends and you'll be alone in the world.'
You attempted to ignore the rest of the argument running through your head, screaming and shouting all over again as the memory was vigorously repeated, trying to make its way into your conscious level of thinking.
Tears fell down your cheeks as you pursed your lips, breathing heavily as everything came rushing to you at once, all the feelings of sadness and pain that you'd pushed away, all the emotions that had refused to show when you'd tried to get them to show, finally surfaced, reaching for the tips of your lips together and urging you to speak before your throat was blocked.
You collapsed down to crouching, gasping loudly as you buried your head in your arms in a need to be alone and hidden from embarrassment, and a need to be embraced and loved and adored.
You wanted to run away screaming, welcoming a new life and a new start in somewhere that would take you in and claim you as their family.
You wanted to claw the gravel from the ground, tearing up the world and feeling the brilliance of a sensation that could be yours to feel at will, an ecstatic sting that could be controlled and felt that would make you feel alive.
But you could do nothing but cry, screaming into your sleeve as you felt a warm arm drape itself across your back, another arm wrapping around your front and holding you steady as a newly familiar voice hushed you quietly, warmly wrapping the most gentle words around you as you were pulled closer to the stranger, but you didn't care.
You didn't care if he cared.
You didn't care for the warm assuring arms around you, or how his appearance was completely abnormal for today's trend of clothing.
You didn't care for the words he whispered to you, encouraging you to let it all out and trust him, because he will be the one to save you.
You just cared that someone gave a damn about your life.
You cared that he didn't ask why you were upset, and how he only wanted you to feel better.
Not that the Doctor didn't wonder why.
He did.
But he wasn't the pressuring type, and he hoped that there'd be more time to talk in the future with you.
You were pulled to your feet, a shivering sobbing screaming wreck that barely noticed the difference between crouching and standing as you pressed your head into the Doctor's chest, your arms hanging limply by your sides as he continued to embrace you.
You didn't care if he was going to abduct you. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. You were just glad that there was someone there to hear you scream.
"It's okay, let it all out, I don't mind." The voice continued softly, the owner of the voice shutting their eyes as they squeezed you slightly, resting their chin on your now-unhooded head.
It might have taken ten minutes. It might have taken an hour.
But eventually, you ran out of voice to scream with and were reduced to a shivering wreck of a human being.
And to join the pain in your throat, your heart stung with the pain of a thousand losses, your emotions most definitely heightened as you stood wrapped in the arms of the stranger, unaware of the faint tears at the corners of his eyes.
"She locked me in my room." You whispered shallowly, shutting your eyes again as they began to tear up.
"Who did?" The Doctor asked unpressuringly.
"My mum-" You choked slightly, wishing that it wasn't true but knowing that it was the story of your life.
"She said I'll go nowhere in life because I'm such a mean, nasty, horrible person." Your words were almost imperceivable, and if it wasn't for the Doctor's ability to understand many alien languages, he probably wouldn't have understood you.
"I don't believe you're a horrible person." He said warmly, giving you a squeeze.
"You wouldn't know." You mumbled, not believing this strangers attempts at consolation.
"No, I can see it. I can see it in you, how amazing and kind you are." He took a small step back to peer into your red swelled eyes, smiling gently at you as he did.
You lowered your head, not wanting for him to see you in such a state, but your chin landed on his hand which lifted your head up again. You sighed.
"She said she hated me, and that she didn't want to see me again." Your heart screamed at you as fresh tears made their presence known, which you thought was almost impossible.
And it wasn't nice. It hurt to cry so much, and you knew you'd suffer tomorrow when the salty residue left in your eyes made them sting like hell.
The Doctor's eyebrows arched as he pulled you to him again, kissing your head gently as he rested his cheek on your hair.
No-one deserved treatment like that, and it hurt him to see the damage inflicted on people through things like this.
Permanent scarring these days was all to easily given.
"She said I can't write stories anymore." Your final choked words, muffled against his purple jacket, sounded almost strangled as you gave in the mental battle with yourself and wrapped your own arms around him, the first person you'd given a proper hug to in years.
And now you didn't cry.
You didn't sob.
You just breathed slowly, thinking about how your only source of freedom and creativity had been taken away.
Your head was still filled with a thousand ideas that needed to come to life and be shared, and not writing them down only tore you up inside as they ate away at your conscience, waiting for their time to shine.
Writing is a skill that should be encouraged, nurtured through words that bring out the best in you and harnessed in the pages of a book.
You cannot cut a lifeline as vital as imagination.
"You're cold." The Doctor said after a moment, running his hands up and down your arms as he tried to generate heat.
"Don't care." You muttered, burying your arms under the inner layers of his purple jacket casually.
"Where do you live?" He probed uninvasively.
"Not going home. Don't want to go home." You sounded almost childish, but given the circumstances, it was pretty normal.
"I don't know where I am, anyway." You added as if it didn't matter.
It didn't matter to you. What mattered was that you had a chance at a new life, a chance to start all over again because you couldn't find your way back home.
Your stomach growled with a familiar hunger, but when you were locked in your room, you hadn't been expecting food service.
Which was good, because you hadn't gotten any.
The Doctor heard your stomach and smiled.
"Hungry?" He asked.
"...Maybe..." The corners of your mouth twitched with his warm tone.
"Me too. Let's go get something to eat." He grabbed your hand as if it was second nature to him, guiding you along as you wiped your eyes of their dried tears. They already began to sting with salt residue, a dull aching pain constant and throbbing, but it didn't matter.
Because this was the start of a new life. A life where the only thing that mattered was running.
And you never looked back.
~~~Extended ending~~~
Fish and chips from the very top of the glass Gherkin was a novel thing to do, laughing whenever any of you dropped a chip and it stuck to the side of the glass building.
The TARDIS had since dematerialised in favour of a more stable place to stand, temporarily leaving the Doctor and you atop the great progression in structural stability and elegance.
You glanced at the Doctor eating a chip and smiled softly, your heavy eyelids holding themselves open.
Just.
And it occurred to you that this stranger hadn't told you his name.
"Do you have a name? You know mine." You poked him in the side.
"Yeah." He smiled back before staring ahead again, a grin settled on his childish face.
"Is that your name? 'Yeah'?" You joked, but he took you a little too seriously.
"No!" He seemed startled, but it only served to make you laugh. You punched his arm playfully.
"So...what is it?" You grinned as you ate another chip.
"The Doctor."
"...What?"
"Just 'The Doctor'." His mouth twitched, and you frowned, glancing down at your feet before looking back to him.
He smiled in expectation of what was to come, but to you, he only looked content.
"Doctor what?" You asked.
He looked as if he'd been shot, muttering an incomprehensible 'Not another one' as he shoved a few chips in his mouth, eating them rather aggressively, making you laugh.
"The Doctor. Just the Doctor. Not Doctor who or Doctor what. The Doctor."
"The Doctor." You said to yourself as you stared ahead, letting the wind soothe your eyes as they narrowed, peering at the stars just visible in the sky.
What a curious name for a curious man.
But then again, you'd never been one to question.
Related content
Comments: 48
Wolfy7556 [2018-10-19 01:03:16 +0000 UTC]
A masterpiece! This made me feel so many feels and was just so...beautiful! Thank u! ππ
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Whoviansdontblink [2016-04-21 03:33:28 +0000 UTC]
Uhhhhhhhhh......................*BOOM*Β
R.I.P
reader
died because of head explosion
head exploded cause of too many feels
Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β
Just in case you couldn't tell I love hugsΒ
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CanadaWannaBeFriend [2014-12-18 06:49:39 +0000 UTC]
THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!!Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β
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Ciel-phantomhive3 [2014-04-29 19:43:39 +0000 UTC]
I love this it was well written for someone writing at 3:59 in the morning I would have wrote something that make not sense and be like and that's how equestrian was made Β
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ExuberantStarchild In reply to Ciel-phantomhive3 [2014-04-29 20:39:50 +0000 UTC]
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ExuberantStarchild In reply to Kisara519 [2014-04-09 10:07:02 +0000 UTC]
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Kisara519 In reply to ExuberantStarchild [2014-04-09 20:50:39 +0000 UTC]
You're welcome -^_^-
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autumnsky66 [2014-04-09 05:27:26 +0000 UTC]
Wow. Darlin that made me cry..
It's just so beautiful how you could take all of your bad experiences over the past few days and just funnel them into this beautiful story! I have so much respect for you right now.
Also I can absolutely relate to this, especially the part about your mom and the part about just wanting to get away from here. I dream about the Doctor coming to take me away all the time, but I guess it's just not my turn yet
Anyway beautiful story, know I'm sending you lots of hugs through the internet
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ExuberantStarchild In reply to autumnsky66 [2014-04-09 10:09:56 +0000 UTC]
T-
Thank-
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!! That means a lot! It helps to get my feelings down on paper, so to speak, to clear my head.
The Doctor should come for us all. *looks to sky*
*can't look at sky because of ceiling*
*looks to window*
I'm a huggish person! ^Ο^
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autumnsky66 In reply to ExuberantStarchild [2014-04-09 11:17:36 +0000 UTC]
Good for you to be able to do that! It's definitely a wonderful vent for any negative emotions.
*can't look to sky because of ceiling* xD
*a wild skylight appears*
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KingofHearts709 [2014-04-08 22:55:54 +0000 UTC]
I just can't...
This is amazing.
It's marvelous.
It's perfect. -BB
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ExuberantStarchild In reply to KingofHearts709 [2014-04-08 23:12:23 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so very much indeed!!!
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Krackle51293 [2014-04-08 21:36:04 +0000 UTC]
That was so sad and great. This is a great story!
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ExuberantStarchild In reply to Krackle51293 [2014-04-08 21:44:20 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so very incredibly much!!!
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SarianaJ [2014-04-08 20:57:38 +0000 UTC]
Please let me tear you mother to ribbons? I'll get Crowley to send Hellhounds if it'll help...
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ExuberantStarchild In reply to SarianaJ [2014-04-08 21:06:07 +0000 UTC]
XD that thought is entirely pleasing right now.
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SarianaJ In reply to ExuberantStarchild [2014-04-08 21:11:34 +0000 UTC]
I thought it might be... how to I summon hellhounds without getting torn to shreds....
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That-One-Herobrine In reply to SarianaJ [2016-06-07 03:29:20 +0000 UTC]
Jaz: *coughs* Make a deal with a demon...?
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ExuberantStarchild In reply to SarianaJ [2014-04-08 21:17:36 +0000 UTC]
XD
Oh and BTW thank you for the bracelets and ring and earrings. They're really pretty in my jewellery box. ^Ο^
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SarianaJ In reply to ExuberantStarchild [2014-04-08 21:20:13 +0000 UTC]
you're welcome dear
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ExuberantStarchild In reply to ClaraGryffon [2014-04-08 21:06:26 +0000 UTC]
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Minxif [2014-04-08 20:21:08 +0000 UTC]
Awwh Eve-san, if you ever feel upset or want a virtual shoulder to cry on, I'm here love.
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ExuberantStarchild In reply to Minxif [2014-04-08 20:52:42 +0000 UTC]
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ExuberantStarchild In reply to Joeyandthetardis [2014-04-08 19:34:09 +0000 UTC]
THANK YOU SO VERY EXTREMELY MUCH!!!
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NalaMarieTotallyRock [2014-04-08 17:36:10 +0000 UTC]
I've been feeling pretty down lately too, but more of because I'm stuck between lonely and I don't want anybody near me..it's a hard place to be in, but when you are scared of a single touch, you just sort of stay alone..
A very lovely story, and wow your writing is immaculate! (Did I use that right, hopefully)
No matter what people tell you, I hope you could continue to write, you are an amazing writer, definately one of my favorites!
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ExuberantStarchild In reply to NalaMarieTotallyRock [2014-04-08 18:18:10 +0000 UTC]
Awww, I hope you feel better soon.
I'm too scared of being alone, although I resent my parents affection and turn to my friends and teachers for help.
You don't have to be alone.
Thank you so VERY MUCH!!!!! (And yes you did use that right!)
Just thank you. Thank you X infinity!!!!!
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NalaMarieTotallyRock In reply to ExuberantStarchild [2014-04-08 18:39:51 +0000 UTC]
(Ah good, trying to learn more words for my writing)
It's no problem really, I like to see other people happy..I really don't have friends, they ignore me...oh well I still have my dog, and my DA friends
Hopefully you feel better soon
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RoseGoldRomantic [2014-04-08 16:38:52 +0000 UTC]
This is a really beautiful piece, but I wish that you
hadn't had the personal experience with what you wrote
about. I am jealous of your flawless writing skills and I hope thatΒ
you can keep doing this as long as you want to. No one should
have the right to say that you can't do what you love, especially
when that something brings something beautiful and creative.
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ExuberantStarchild In reply to RoseGoldRomantic [2014-04-08 17:00:45 +0000 UTC]
I can only thank you for your impeccably kind words, I will always remember them. I also wished that I hadn't gone through this, but I believe I have turned it into a positive, or as much as I could.
Thank you so very much!
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RoseGoldRomantic In reply to ExuberantStarchild [2014-04-08 17:10:19 +0000 UTC]
I'm honored to have made that much of an impressionΒ
on you! I'm so happy to see that you take the bad things
that have happend and are happening to you and turn them
into something beautiful. You're so welcome!
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UmbreonGirl444 [2014-04-08 16:10:05 +0000 UTC]
After I argue with my Mum I climb out my window and sit on the roof, you'd be surpised on how peaceful it is.
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ExuberantStarchild In reply to UmbreonGirl444 [2014-04-08 16:12:01 +0000 UTC]
I go walking around farmers muddy fields with my dog. It's fun. ^Ο^
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UmbreonGirl444 In reply to ExuberantStarchild [2014-04-08 17:57:53 +0000 UTC]
That would be fun too, shame I don't have a dog; it wouldn't be the same with a cat or rabbit...
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ExuberantStarchild In reply to UmbreonGirl444 [2014-04-08 18:14:21 +0000 UTC]
Hehehe XD
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