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Description
*sits in the confessional booth*

Audience...i come to confess to you...
First off, i'm totally ripping this bit off Stephen Colbert.
Second, this post you see before you (and the art), is...nearly a year old.
I made this last year, after Easter Sunday, April 9th, 2023.
I never posted it, because, i...i just didn't care...*sniff*
I was lazy.
Other things were more important to me, like...Minecraft, and Animal Crossing, and...literally anything else.
Even though the art is great and i think of it often, i-i just never summoned the strength to confess this incredible story on time.
*blows nose* PPBBHGGTPBBYTTPBBPPTT.
*sighs*
But i'm here now, mere days before this Easter Sunday (which is absurdly early by the way, the fuck??).
I humbly request...
Audience...
Forgive me.

---

AND if ya don't, who cares! *leaps outta the booth*
Guess i may as well get it outta the way that yes, this art is derogatory and very obviously implying i see religious commoners as sheep.
And you can't say that that's a bad thing, because the Bible literally instructs worshippers to be "as sheep" and blindly follow the Lord, your shepherd.
So if this makes ya mad, you might wanna re-read your book, because also...Fae looks like a fuckin' predator
I didn't belong there, but i tried not to make it obvious!
And before ya get yer pitchforks and torches, just note that not everything i have to say is bad!
I'm nothing if not fair... *pushes my review of Game of Thrones off screen*
So there's some good, some bad, some neutral, and as always, these things are my opinion!
If you want to know how i really feel about Christianity, here...

www.deviantart.com/faebelowdec…

And now, let's get into it.

--------

As i've mentioned before i was raised Christian, and was even devout at one time.
It was the worst time of my life, but the post i linked covers that more extensively so we won't go over that again here.
But i was involved as a believer and often sang for the church, sometimes in the choir but usually solo (because i'm a performance whore who eats the spotlight like an anti-gay senator shoveling cock into his mouth in the closet).
Having been in Vacation Bible School over several Summers as a child and being involved in the church as a teenager, i was super accustomed to the energy of Christians.
Very friendly folks, all smiles and lots of greetings, lots of hand shakes, lots of welcoming faces and voices and talking about Jesus every five seconds.
But after i left religion and stopped going to church, over the years i began to forget about all'a that.

As my neighborhood slowly became a ghetto (i'm not being racist, 99% of that was perpetuated by unruly white people), i became more reclusive, and no longer being in high school meant i was losing my grasp on human contact.
Then we moved, i shut myself in more, and once Covid hit i all but became a feral hermit, hoarding video games, fossils and bones from under the shed like a disgruntled basement wizard.
But when my great uncle invited me and my mom to join him in his hole-in-the-wall church for Easter, i oddly enough...agreed.
I wasn't excited about it, but i thought it would be nice to give it a chance and show support for my uncle, who used to be...um...well he was a supreme dickhead.
But since finding faith and devoting himself to it more he's chilled out and been doing a lot nicer things, so who am i to not support that?
I also felt it would serve as an interesting challenge of my own faith, and help me see where i am in my belief systems, and if i could be swayed back into some Christian ideology.
I truly went in with an open mind and heart, and was my most behaved self.
God, behaving was painful...

Brother, i felt like a fuckin' gremlin in disguise.
Everyone was loud, all smiles, friendly, saying "hi" constantly, introducing themselves -- i was introducing myself and shaking someone's hand every time i turned around, it was so bizarre.
If i had thrown a stick and hit someone, they would have turned around, walked up to me while smiling from ear to ear, shook my hand and introduced themselves.
And i don't mean that in a bad way; don't forget, i hadn't been a member of society in years, and still technically am not.
I'm also no longer used to affection or general friendliness and respect, so...
*lays on my bedroom floor and stares at the ceiling while "When I Ruled the World" plays*
So it was a little tedious, like HI AGAIN, MY FUCKIN' NAME IS CAPTAIN GIGA-TITS AND THIS IS ME FUCKIN' MOM, WE'RE FUCKIN' NEW HERE AND HOORAY FOR JESUS.
It was pretty cool in there, though.
Like i said, it was a total hole-in-the-wall, but places like that are usually good.
It was a fairly big space with an entire bar (it used to be a bar lmao) where people sold coffee, donuts, smoothies and drinks there for visitors.
It smelled great, there was a lot of energy flowing, and the coolest thing about it was the diversity of people who showed up.
Many disabled people, people of color -- it was nice.
Everyone was an equal there, all there for the same cause and it felt pretty genuine, i think.
Was it overwhelming for ya bitch?

Absolutely.
See, one nice thing about living in a red state is country people and the religious are often fairly talkative and open and fun, and there is a decent sense of community.
Neighbors are often more willing to help one another, and this extends into much of working environments.
But believe me, the buck stops there.
And God forbid they find out you're not a Christian, yeesh.

So after waiting for everyone to pile in, we picked our seats and my god, i couldn't even zone out a little.
Every time i got on a self-regulating wavelength, some motherfucker was coming up, shaking our hands, talking to my uncle, introducing themselves and us having to exchange that.
I know i'm being absurdly cold about this, but I AM SO NOT USED TO THAT ANYMORE.
But in my church upbringing, everyone already knew who i was, so...i guess i wasn't used to that anyway.
It was just a lot, and i had to remember to be a person and not crack jokes about the monotony of introductions and hand shakes (IN A WORLD STILL DOMINATED BY COVID AND NOROVIRUS, BY THE WAY).
Then, at ever-loving last, it began.

There was the band and some lights, it was pretty neat.
I liked the stage, and there were these big screens behind the band and pastor that had the words to the songs we sang, as well as visuals and little animations for the sermon??
It was pretty swag, can't front ya.
Nice big bold letters for the visually impaired to keep up, noice, noice.
Honestly i'm a tad old fashioned and have mixed feelings about technology being overly prevalent in certain spaces, and especially religious ones because...ah i don't know, whatever i have to say is contradictory so i'll just move on.
Speaking of the music by the way, as if we didn't hear Jesus's name enough times, I FORGOT HOW BAD HYMNALS ARE WITH IT.
When you have to repeat the same name over and over and over and--

*twelve minutes later*

OVER again, ya know you're in a cult.
Sorry, guys, but it is what it is, and what it is is a cult.
You see, brainwashing isn't like in the movies.
It needs consistent reminding, rhetoric and repetition, and religion is an endless echo chamber of the same teachings, phrases, words and chants over and over again to "keep the devil out."
That's...not normal.
That's also not confident in your faith, by psychological standards.
It means there's insecurity, and religion continues to fuel itself through fear and herd mentality.
I know that's harsh but it's the tea, and 'round these parts, our tea is HOT.
...*sips*
But sweet...
Mm.
SO yeah, i Jesus thought i was gonna Jesus have a Jesus aneurysm at one Jesus point just from hearing his Jesus name over and over.
Jesus.

I'll hand it to the pastor, he was passionate and very real.
Multiple times, he emphasized his understanding that many in the crowd were most likely not believers, and actually admitted he understood many people have awful experiences with Christianity.
He talked about the "bad" Christians to some extent, but not in a mean, bullying or even alienating way.
For once, i felt like a Christian understood my point of view even though he didn't know me.
Many Christians exclusively blame non-Christians for their lack of faith (especially online, eugh).
But this guy was different, and it was nice.

There was a moment during the sermon where i almost lost my shit.
I don't remember what exactly was being talked about, but the pastor asked a question about something and expected the audience to answer.
The collective answer was "non-believers," which is funny enough alone, but there was one lady diagonally in front of me to the left who had the most stereotypical Walmart shopper hick accent, and she was louder than the rest.
Her voice passionately saying "NAWN-BUHLEEVURS" almost blasted me out of my chair.
I was having Autistic and douchebag spasms, my musculoskeletal fibers were vibrating with the urge to mock her.
I had to pump the brakes on that shit; i almost forgot to be a person and not do that.
I'm so used to just being an asshole and mocking people around me and my friends.
Of all the tests i endured that day, that was the toughest.
I wanted to make fun of her so badly, you don't understand.
Took me a few minutes to recover from that and start paying attention again.

Apart from all that, it was a fairly generic sermon, just with a nicer guy who was more understanding.
But my mission being there was to see how i felt about the faith, and if, in my present state of mind, there was anything that could be said to me that could sway someone like me to believe in Christianity again.
Not because i wanted to; i just wanted to know if logic was present.
And naturally, after a year i don't remember many details at all.
What i do remember was the pastor was brilliant in his wording and obviously empathetic, but like with all sermons, that was where the river stopped.
Whenever he talked about Jesus and accepting him and trusting in salvation, there was nothing to be offered besides "it's right because i know it's right."
That's just not good enough, ya know?

I had to remember to not roll my eyes or make faces -- had to blend in.
But it was frustrating, it's like i was getting mentally blue balled.
I was like "yes, this guy gets it, okay come on, come onnnn!!!"
Aaaaand then it all dried up.
Orgasm ruined, there's no more substance here.

My thing is, Christians are too absurd in the certainty that they're correct based off an ancient book.
Which wasn't written by God, by the way...
Just...throwing that back out there.
I'm Spiritual, and while i am confident in my beliefs, i also acknowledge the possibility that i'm getting much of it wrong.
Faith is a feeling, it's a belief, it's trust in the unknown and, factually, unproven by science.
So to say Jesus is the only way, and that you know because "you just know," isn't plausible.
If you believe that and wanna share it, great!
I'm happy for you.
But you're not going to sway skeptics with that unless that person is super young, super gullible, or wants to have a faith and find higher purpose.
The latter there is fine.
I don't know, it's just weird to me to die on a hill of hypocrisy and continue to blindly follow the book when it contradicts itself left and right.
Christians don't even acknowledge that they don't entirely understand what each passage means or what "God" is saying to them, and no one can agree on what it means.
The self-interpretation is fair, until it bleeds out onto all of society.
I think this pastor did a little good in combating that, but the reality is he's just a slightly more empathetic sheep, leading other sheep.
And that's simply how i feel.

I was delighted when it was over.
It was only like an hour but me + church = risk of brain damage.
When we were released from our seats and i got to snake back out into the light, it reminded me how i always used to feel getting out of church.
Trapped in a dark building, eyes focused to one spot, fed semi-toxic information and missing the outdoors.
Nature is my church.
The sun, flowers and big gusts of wind were freeing.
Me, mom and my uncle met up and, after dancing and piddling around on where to go for lunch, settled on Los Bravos and i had the most incredible fucking chimichangas of my entire pitiful existence.
Once seated and outta church, i unleashed the comedian and had my mom and uncle rolling, especially when i mentioned the "NAWN-BUHLEEVUR" lady and how i almost revealed what a cunt i am in front of an entire congregation
After we ate, we staggered out the door like drunkards, making jokes and laughing at...basically nothing.
The staff must've thought we were some unique degenerates, bumbling and chortling like intoxicated sailors stepping off a plank into the streets.
It led to our new favorite inside jokes, me saying stupidly, "One-a them telephones on the road."
(I couldn't remember what a pay phone was called or why it got brought up, i was food drunk.)

---

And that's the heartwarming tale of how Captain Fae went to a cult-- i mean went to church and gave Christianity a try after roughly a decade since leaving it behind.
Prognosis?

*checks clipboard*
*drumroll*
...
*looks up* It's still bullshit.
BUT hey, the pastor made a great try, bless em. *throws the clipboard*
Overall it was a great day with lots of nice and way-too-friendly people who just wanted to get some Jesus and have a nice Sunday.
It was easily the best church i've been to so far with the most engaging pastor, and it was impressive!

I can't wait to never go back.
*throws sheep suit in the trash*
Best of all, it solidified to me how far i've come in my own beliefs, and how much i've healed.
I usually avoid Christian stuff like the plague, because like it or not i do have trauma and all that "you'll go to hell" speak occasionally shakes my core.
But the pastor didn't fear-monger us.
Shit, i don't know if hell was even mentioned!
That's how it should be.
It was a sermon that made religion nice, as it should be, but i'm past the point of no return.
I can respect this place, and its people...to an extent.
The non-believer lady might be a little scary outside of church, but i won't judge too much.

WELP as always i hope ye enjoyed.
If this hurt your feelings or made you mad, that wasn't my intention, but feel free to tell me how ya feel.
I'm in a good head space today
Remember you can do whatever you want, no one cares.
Just don't bring it everywhere with ya and punish people who don't believe in yer faith.
MKAY, BYE, GET OUT

---THIS ARTWORK IS ALL MINE, HEATHENS!!! WHILE I WANT IT ON A T-SHIRT, YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO USE IT FOR NOTHIN'! BWAHAHAHA, FUCK YEWWW!!! *eats it*

Description
*sits in the confessional booth*

Audience...i come to confess to you...
First off, i'm totally ripping this bit off Stephen Colbert.
Second, this post you see before you (and the art), is...nearly a year old.
I made this last year, after Easter Sunday, April 9th, 2023.
I never posted it, because, i...i just didn't care...*sniff*
I was lazy.
Other things were more important to me, like...Minecraft, and Animal Crossing, and...literally anything else.
Even though the art is great and i think of it often, i-i just never summoned the strength to confess this incredible story on time.
*blows nose* PPBBHGGTPBBYTTPBBPPTT.
*sighs*
But i'm here now, mere days before this Easter Sunday (which is absurdly early by the way, the fuck??).
I humbly request...
Audience...
Forgive me.

---

AND if ya don't, who cares! *leaps outta the booth*
Guess i may as well get it outta the way that yes, this art is derogatory and very obviously implying i see religious commoners as sheep.
And you can't say that that's a bad thing, because the Bible literally instructs worshippers to be "as sheep" and blindly follow the Lord, your shepherd.
So if this makes ya mad, you might wanna re-read your book, because also...Fae looks like a fuckin' predator
I didn't belong there, but i tried not to make it obvious!
And before ya get yer pitchforks and torches, just note that not everything i have to say is bad!
I'm nothing if not fair... *pushes my review of Game of Thrones off screen*
So there's some good, some bad, some neutral, and as always, these things are my opinion!
If you want to know how i really feel about Christianity, here...

www.deviantart.com/faebelowdec…

And now, let's get into it.

--------

As i've mentioned before i was raised Christian, and was even devout at one time.
It was the worst time of my life, but the post i linked covers that more extensively so we won't go over that again here.
But i was involved as a believer and often sang for the church, sometimes in the choir but usually solo (because i'm a performance whore who eats the spotlight like an anti-gay senator shoveling cock into his mouth in the closet).
Having been in Vacation Bible School over several Summers as a child and being involved in the church as a teenager, i was super accustomed to the energy of Christians.
Very friendly folks, all smiles and lots of greetings, lots of hand shakes, lots of welcoming faces and voices and talking about Jesus every five seconds.
But after i left religion and stopped going to church, over the years i began to forget about all'a that.

As my neighborhood slowly became a ghetto (i'm not being racist, 99% of that was perpetuated by unruly white people), i became more reclusive, and no longer being in high school meant i was losing my grasp on human contact.
Then we moved, i shut myself in more, and once Covid hit i all but became a feral hermit, hoarding video games, fossils and bones from under the shed like a disgruntled basement wizard.
But when my great uncle invited me and my mom to join him in his hole-in-the-wall church for Easter, i oddly enough...agreed.
I wasn't excited about it, but i thought it would be nice to give it a chance and show support for my uncle, who used to be...um...well he was a supreme dickhead.
But since finding faith and devoting himself to it more he's chilled out and been doing a lot nicer things, so who am i to not support that?
I also felt it would serve as an interesting challenge of my own faith, and help me see where i am in my belief systems, and if i could be swayed back into some Christian ideology.
I truly went in with an open mind and heart, and was my most behaved self.
God, behaving was painful...

Brother, i felt like a fuckin' gremlin in disguise.
Everyone was loud, all smiles, friendly, saying "hi" constantly, introducing themselves -- i was introducing myself and shaking someone's hand every time i turned around, it was so bizarre.
If i had thrown a stick and hit someone, they would have turned around, walked up to me while smiling from ear to ear, shook my hand and introduced themselves.
And i don't mean that in a bad way; don't forget, i hadn't been a member of society in years, and still technically am not.
I'm also no longer used to affection or general friendliness and respect, so...
*lays on my bedroom floor and stares at the ceiling while "When I Ruled the World" plays*
So it was a little tedious, like HI AGAIN, MY FUCKIN' NAME IS CAPTAIN GIGA-TITS AND THIS IS ME FUCKIN' MOM, WE'RE FUCKIN' NEW HERE AND HOORAY FOR JESUS.
It was pretty cool in there, though.
Like i said, it was a total hole-in-the-wall, but places like that are usually good.
It was a fairly big space with an entire bar (it used to be a bar lmao) where people sold coffee, donuts, smoothies and drinks there for visitors.
It smelled great, there was a lot of energy flowing, and the coolest thing about it was the diversity of people who showed up.
Many disabled people, people of color -- it was nice.
Everyone was an equal there, all there for the same cause and it felt pretty genuine, i think.
Was it overwhelming for ya bitch?

Absolutely.
See, one nice thing about living in a red state is country people and the religious are often fairly talkative and open and fun, and there is a decent sense of community.
Neighbors are often more willing to help one another, and this extends into much of working environments.
But believe me, the buck stops there.
And God forbid they find out you're not a Christian, yeesh.

So after waiting for everyone to pile in, we picked our seats and my god, i couldn't even zone out a little.
Every time i got on a self-regulating wavelength, some motherfucker was coming up, shaking our hands, talking to my uncle, introducing themselves and us having to exchange that.
I know i'm being absurdly cold about this, but I AM SO NOT USED TO THAT ANYMORE.
But in my church upbringing, everyone already knew who i was, so...i guess i wasn't used to that anyway.
It was just a lot, and i had to remember to be a person and not crack jokes about the monotony of introductions and hand shakes (IN A WORLD STILL DOMINATED BY COVID AND NOROVIRUS, BY THE WAY).
Then, at ever-loving last, it began.

There was the band and some lights, it was pretty neat.
I liked the stage, and there were these big screens behind the band and pastor that had the words to the songs we sang, as well as visuals and little animations for the sermon??
It was pretty swag, can't front ya.
Nice big bold letters for the visually impaired to keep up, noice, noice.
Honestly i'm a tad old fashioned and have mixed feelings about technology being overly prevalent in certain spaces, and especially religious ones because...ah i don't know, whatever i have to say is contradictory so i'll just move on.
Speaking of the music by the way, as if we didn't hear Jesus's name enough times, I FORGOT HOW BAD HYMNALS ARE WITH IT.
When you have to repeat the same name over and over and over and--

*twelve minutes later*

OVER again, ya know you're in a cult.
Sorry, guys, but it is what it is, and what it is is a cult.
You see, brainwashing isn't like in the movies.
It needs consistent reminding, rhetoric and repetition, and religion is an endless echo chamber of the same teachings, phrases, words and chants over and over again to "keep the devil out."
That's...not normal.
That's also not confident in your faith, by psychological standards.
It means there's insecurity, and religion continues to fuel itself through fear and herd mentality.
I know that's harsh but it's the tea, and 'round these parts, our tea is HOT.
...*sips*
But sweet...
Mm.
SO yeah, i Jesus thought i was gonna Jesus have a Jesus aneurysm at one Jesus point just from hearing his Jesus name over and over.
Jesus.

I'll hand it to the pastor, he was passionate and very real.
Multiple times, he emphasized his understanding that many in the crowd were most likely not believers, and actually admitted he understood many people have awful experiences with Christianity.
He talked about the "bad" Christians to some extent, but not in a mean, bullying or even alienating way.
For once, i felt like a Christian understood my point of view even though he didn't know me.
Many Christians exclusively blame non-Christians for their lack of faith (especially online, eugh).
But this guy was different, and it was nice.

There was a moment during the sermon where i almost lost my shit.
I don't remember what exactly was being talked about, but the pastor asked a question about something and expected the audience to answer.
The collective answer was "non-believers," which is funny enough alone, but there was one lady diagonally in front of me to the left who had the most stereotypical Walmart shopper hick accent, and she was louder than the rest.
Her voice passionately saying "NAWN-BUHLEEVURS" almost blasted me out of my chair.
I was having Autistic and douchebag spasms, my musculoskeletal fibers were vibrating with the urge to mock her.
I had to pump the brakes on that shit; i almost forgot to be a person and not do that.
I'm so used to just being an asshole and mocking people around me and my friends.
Of all the tests i endured that day, that was the toughest.
I wanted to make fun of her so badly, you don't understand.
Took me a few minutes to recover from that and start paying attention again.

Apart from all that, it was a fairly generic sermon, just with a nicer guy who was more understanding.
But my mission being there was to see how i felt about the faith, and if, in my present state of mind, there was anything that could be said to me that could sway someone like me to believe in Christianity again.
Not because i wanted to; i just wanted to know if logic was present.
And naturally, after a year i don't remember many details at all.
What i do remember was the pastor was brilliant in his wording and obviously empathetic, but like with all sermons, that was where the river stopped.
Whenever he talked about Jesus and accepting him and trusting in salvation, there was nothing to be offered besides "it's right because i know it's right."
That's just not good enough, ya know?

I had to remember to not roll my eyes or make faces -- had to blend in.
But it was frustrating, it's like i was getting mentally blue balled.
I was like "yes, this guy gets it, okay come on, come onnnn!!!"
Aaaaand then it all dried up.
Orgasm ruined, there's no more substance here.

My thing is, Christians are too absurd in the certainty that they're correct based off an ancient book.
Which wasn't written by God, by the way...
Just...throwing that back out there.
I'm Spiritual, and while i am confident in my beliefs, i also acknowledge the possibility that i'm getting much of it wrong.
Faith is a feeling, it's a belief, it's trust in the unknown and, factually, unproven by science.
So to say Jesus is the only way, and that you know because "you just know," isn't plausible.
If you believe that and wanna share it, great!
I'm happy for you.
But you're not going to sway skeptics with that unless that person is super young, super gullible, or wants to have a faith and find higher purpose.
The latter there is fine.
I don't know, it's just weird to me to die on a hill of hypocrisy and continue to blindly follow the book when it contradicts itself left and right.
Christians don't even acknowledge that they don't entirely understand what each passage means or what "God" is saying to them, and no one can agree on what it means.
The self-interpretation is fair, until it bleeds out onto all of society.
I think this pastor did a little good in combating that, but the reality is he's just a slightly more empathetic sheep, leading other sheep.
And that's simply how i feel.

I was delighted when it was over.
It was only like an hour but me + church = risk of brain damage.
When we were released from our seats and i got to snake back out into the light, it reminded me how i always used to feel getting out of church.
Trapped in a dark building, eyes focused to one spot, fed semi-toxic information and missing the outdoors.
Nature is my church.
The sun, flowers and big gusts of wind were freeing.
Me, mom and my uncle met up and, after dancing and piddling around on where to go for lunch, settled on Los Bravos and i had the most incredible fucking chimichangas of my entire pitiful existence.
Once seated and outta church, i unleashed the comedian and had my mom and uncle rolling, especially when i mentioned the "NAWN-BUHLEEVUR" lady and how i almost revealed what a cunt i am in front of an entire congregation
After we ate, we staggered out the door like drunkards, making jokes and laughing at...basically nothing.
The staff must've thought we were some unique degenerates, bumbling and chortling like intoxicated sailors stepping off a plank into the streets.
It led to our new favorite inside jokes, me saying stupidly, "One-a them telephones on the road."
(I couldn't remember what a pay phone was called or why it got brought up, i was food drunk.)

---

And that's the heartwarming tale of how Captain Fae went to a cult-- i mean went to church and gave Christianity a try after roughly a decade since leaving it behind.
Prognosis?

*checks clipboard*
*drumroll*
...
*looks up* It's still bullshit.
BUT hey, the pastor made a great try, bless em. *throws the clipboard*
Overall it was a great day with lots of nice and way-too-friendly people who just wanted to get some Jesus and have a nice Sunday.
It was easily the best church i've been to so far with the most engaging pastor, and it was impressive!

I can't wait to never go back.
*throws sheep suit in the trash*
Best of all, it solidified to me how far i've come in my own beliefs, and how much i've healed.
I usually avoid Christian stuff like the plague, because like it or not i do have trauma and all that "you'll go to hell" speak occasionally shakes my core.
But the pastor didn't fear-monger us.
Shit, i don't know if hell was even mentioned!
That's how it should be.
It was a sermon that made religion nice, as it should be, but i'm past the point of no return.
I can respect this place, and its people...to an extent.
The non-believer lady might be a little scary outside of church, but i won't judge too much.

WELP as always i hope ye enjoyed.
If this hurt your feelings or made you mad, that wasn't my intention, but feel free to tell me how ya feel.
I'm in a good head space today
Remember you can do whatever you want, no one cares.
Just don't bring it everywhere with ya and punish people who don't believe in yer faith.
MKAY, BYE, GET OUT

---THIS ARTWORK IS ALL MINE, HEATHENS!!! WHILE I WANT IT ON A T-SHIRT, YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO USE IT FOR NOTHIN'! BWAHAHAHA, FUCK YEWWW!!! *eats it*