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Published: 2007-01-08 22:57:11 +0000 UTC; Views: 61; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description
The sun had never set so unwatched and its light had never gone out so swiftly.Anyone could see in the eyes of Jason Campman that something had seized his heart. He walked down the dimly lit sidewalk leaving a dark trail behind him and a shadow which portrayed his former self. An unknown reason had silenced him. He stopped halfway from his house and turned into the old park. Everything looked the same as it had back then, only somewhat smaller. He scanned the scene and as he visualized past memories, the ghosts of him and his fiancé smiling, laughing, and crying appeared. He sat down at the bench and closed his eyes to hide the ghosts; they had never haunted him before this eerie new mood was acquired. When he reopened his eyes a harsh pain exploded within him creating a heavy downpour of tears. He couldn’t bare the memories.
Irene moved quickly as she attempted to finish setting the table before Jason walked in their two year old apartment. The lights were turned off leaving only candles that lit a path from the door to the table. Irene wasn’t much of a cook but she always tried hard to create fancy meals and surprise Jason. She finished setting the table but stood in confusion as she was trying to remember which side the forks were supposed to be on. The table looked beautiful like in a romantic film; roses were placed in a vase in the middle of the table, surrounded by four stick candles, the cloth was decorated with painted on rose petals, and the dim light created a spectacular mood along with the sudden rain that fell outside. She couldn’t have picked a better time.
Jason could feel a slight drizzle of rain as he sat already drenched in tears. He turned to the sound of a little girl screaming from a two story house. The rain had strengthened and the window of the house was open. He noticed that the little girl’s screams were filled with a slight laughter as the rain was coming through the window. Silence returned when the window was shut. Witnessing that little moment sprung a thousand memories free. The one his mind continued to race past was a time a while back when Irene came over to his house. Right before they were about to get into the car to take her home he looked outside the garage and it was raining. Knowing her love for the rain and loving it himself he took Irene’s hand and walked outside. The memory still felt so real standing in the park years after. He stood up, face lifted to the sky, and spread his arms letting the rain pierce his body.
Irene sat in the living room behind the door so that when Jason came home he would first walk into the kitchen and then turn around to see her. Her heart was racing with excitement as it often did when she waited for him to come home. She watched the street through a gap in the curtains unbearably awaiting Jason’s figure to pop up on the sidewalk.
Jason dropped his head back down, way down as his mood returned to that dark, shadowed, depression which seemed to take hold of him this day. He left the park to go home, but he was trying hard to slow his pace. With every step he took more memories collided in his head. The only thing on his mind was Irene, but that was also the reason he delayed his return home. Now a hundred feet from the front door his heart felt like a thousand hands were wrapped around it trying to crush it.
Irene watched with the same amount of excitement as before with the same consistency as the falling rain. When she finally saw Jason enter the gap she peered through, her heart skipped a beat and the volume of its continued beating vibrated her body.
Jason turned the knob and walked in. The sight of the burning candles melted his already broken heart. He walked into the kitchen and dissected the dimly lit table. That was all his heart could bare, he collapsed to the floor and now the rain could no longer hide his tears.
Irene snuck up behind him trying to amplify the moment when he turns around, but before he turned around he fell to the floor and began to cry. She immediately dropped to her knees and pulled him into her arms.
“Babe, what’s wrong?” Her heart’s beat remained the same but as quick as looking into a mirror, what it reflected was just the opposite.
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Comments: 20
shadeofjade [2007-01-10 22:54:36 +0000 UTC]
Captivating. I love the description and the perfectly candle lit table.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
fallingbelow In reply to shadeofjade [2007-01-11 00:06:37 +0000 UTC]
Thanks, the continued story is "Candle" You have to scroll past the parts you already read though.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
sam45 [2007-01-10 14:08:35 +0000 UTC]
like i already said. i like this a lot. and after reading it, it makes more sence. the story is clearer.
hope to read the finished version soon
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Jianre-M [2007-01-09 18:23:19 +0000 UTC]
very nice, this one is really well written, very capturing....
the only problem I had was that it almost seemed like the switches were memories. Him thinking of someone else. I thought Irene was someone from the past for a while... but maybe that was just me.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
fallingbelow In reply to Jianre-M [2007-01-10 17:13:41 +0000 UTC]
Hmmm...I see, guess I need to figure out a way to change that.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Jianre-M In reply to fallingbelow [2007-01-10 17:49:30 +0000 UTC]
it mighta been just me though,
but it still looks really good, I love the emotions you've captured!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
fallingbelow In reply to Jianre-M [2007-01-10 18:15:07 +0000 UTC]
Really, thanks. Is there a part that you could point out to me that you like best?
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Jianre-M In reply to fallingbelow [2007-01-10 18:18:36 +0000 UTC]
probably the part where he gets home and sees the candles. either that or when he hears the child's laughter.
At first I thought the scenes with his Fiance were flashbacks to like his old wife on the day she was murdered or something.. I kept anticipating someone coming through the door or the storm doing somehting... the closer He got to the house the closer the event seemed to me... ... but then I was just reading a book on a Demon-hunter... so...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
fallingbelow In reply to Jianre-M [2007-01-10 22:49:29 +0000 UTC]
I wrote more to it can i sent it to you in a note, i need your opinion?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
fallingbelow In reply to Jianre-M [2007-01-11 00:07:19 +0000 UTC]
I actually just posted it as "Candle" you just have to scroll past the parts you already read.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Jianre-M In reply to fallingbelow [2007-01-11 01:15:06 +0000 UTC]
okee dokee, I can't do that right now as I have to get going, But I have them both on my DevWatch list and I'll get them when I get back!
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