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FalseIntrospection — Demon Days
by-nc-nd
Published: 2010-12-04 12:15:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 192; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
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Description
As i continue getting olderim finding more and more
that life grows ever colder
beyond my bedroom door
They say that in my youth
i know nothing of the world
that i cannot find truth
in the mourning of a girl
But do not speak to me
when your future seems so bright
you know lonely
no more than i know wrong from right
so leave me to my flask,
to my ever darkened crypt
no need for my old mask
its gone, scattered torn and ripped
So turn off the light shut the door and say your last goodbye
cause try as i might i know for sure Ill Miss Her til i die
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Comments: 7
It's alright. Sometimes there isnt anything to say and you just sort of have to bear it.
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The more lonely you are.. -sigh- I wish there was something I could say.
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In terms of the words is awesome, but maybe it would be cool to switch it up a bit when it comes to things like orthography and punctuation, just to see how it affects the rhythm. Like, I think a visual break like a blank line or something would be good around "But do not speak to me", and it would feel like a turning point in the piece.
On the other hand, it's nice flowing, too Oo
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Oh and this was not intended, right?
'you dont even even have to ask'
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Oh, thank you for that. Would have never noticed it. I appreciate hearing from you.
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