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FBW — Erotic
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[NSFW]
Published: 2007-08-15 05:59:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 4959; Favourites: 56; Downloads: 13
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Description
You stare lovingly into my eyesAs our garments hit the floor
The taste of your lips
Moving my very core
Your pleasant scent
Adding to the allure
Of your flexible body
You are the cure
To all my ailments
You lay back, waiting
Always willing to grant me total control
I lay forward, debating
Over my next role
I kiss your lips
Then your neck
Your breasts
Your stomach
And further down still
Between your hips
Letting my tongue do the work
And reaching for your chest
As you moan
And your body arches
And you jerk
With pleasure
You reach down
And pull me back toward you
And reach down
To make us one
A thrust forward
A jerk back, repeat
A joyful scream
Like out of a dream
The gleam in your eyes
As your legs wrap around me
And squeeze
Your hands travel
And aid in my endeavor
As you push me toward you
Our inhibitions unravel
Our desires engulf us
Our pleasures heighten
In our act of lust
And love...
A climatic scream
A dynamic finish
We hold each other
And just kiss
And lay next to each other
And dream...
Dream...
Dream...
Together.
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Comments: 29
Now THAT'S a poem! I envy your ease with writing erotica! I wrote a sex scene in my novel and it took a while to get it right and i'm trying to push my boundries and write and erotic prose but I keep hitting this wall. A wall that you seem to have ran towards, jumped and cleared with ease!!! Kudo's!
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-draws in a sharp breath and holds back tears- It's perfect. This piece, unlike most other pieces, doesn't just focus on the sex. The ending is so lovely. 10/10! -thumbs up-
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I loved it, fantastic job! ;D
Even though it was a very long poem, I believe it was one of the best I've ever read!
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It didn't seem like that long of a poem to me, but hey whatever. Thanks for the compliment.
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Your welcome! =]
Keep up the good work! ^____^
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Very good, I enjoyed it, you have such a stable rhyme and beat in your poetry.
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Thanks. That's one of the best compliments I've ever received about my work.
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Im surprised you haven't heard it before.
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No. I hear a lot of great compliments, but no ones told me that before.
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Just getting this out of the way first: I LOVE how you rhymed the first bit! Ahem. The progression is nice and slow, taking the reader through everything, building up to the finale just like sex itself. There's a fine line between erotic and pornographic, but I must say you tread it well. *thumbs up* Me likes.
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Also, I was going to do the whole poem the way I did the first stanza, but I felt it would hurt it, so it came out like this. There is some rhyming throughout the rest of the poem, but it's not a set rhyme scheme, just basically where ever I could throw it in without taking away from the work.
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Yep. I noticed it here and there. It works...helps it flow more, reminds you you're reading poetry. It's almost like a song.
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Yeah, I was trying to stay away from straight up porn, though, considering the topic I knew I couldn't avoid it, so I took a shot at "stradling" (no pun intended) the line between the two.
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Well, you did a good job of it. Kudos.
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THAT was a grand bit of writing. My goodness! I say, it was quite emotive indeed!! Good work.
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