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Feymark — Prelude to Children of the Sky - Part 2
by-nc-nd
#comic #pokemon #nuzlocke #nuzlockecomic
Published: 2016-08-02 21:13:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 1561; Favourites: 27; Downloads: 5
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Description
*Slides in*When I see the way you look
Shaken by how long it took
I could do about anything
I could even learn how to love like you.
This was the hardest page I've ever had to draw. It kicked my ass several times and I had to do a lot of things like laser eye surgery and family vacations. I wasn't in the best place, but I found a bunch of new friends that really pushed me through it within the past 2 weeks, and old ones too. A huge thanks to , , , and Jim and Sophie from the forums. A lot of space is in its place now.
But hey! This is my best looking page yet! I didn't want to prologue to look a lot better than the other pages, but I guess I forgot that along the way. This was more of a reawakening of my drawing skills.
There's not much to explain about the page or about the world other than the fact that Newbark is very very green and uses a lot of green energy because it's so far away. I like to think of it as more of a government/military border town, but you take your pick.
First: The Beginning
Previous: Prelude 1
Next: Prelude 3
Rules: Here
Full Gallery: Here
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Comments: 27
It. LIVES. And such an emotional update, too. I love how you've characterized Silver.
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Love that Titania and that closeup of Elm.
Clare continues to be ridiculously adorable. Also, RIP Leon's ability to grow a beard.
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He will grow stronger and hairy in time, in time,
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Hey, Fey, don't blur all the bg with same level of blur, maybe make the closer bg less blurry
so the further it is from the focus , the blurier it is
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lol bro it's just me using a soft palette/brush. The backgrounds weren't blurred until they were deeper in the perspective, if at all.
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naah, I am not referring to blur tool
just their level of blur
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O^O that first panel looks so good holy crap! To think you had to do this while going through surgery... are you ok now? :'D
omg Solana continues to be the coolest mom. She's not takign any shit from anyone and I hoe she appears more in this story ;u;
Clare is such a precious baby! Leon really doesn't want her to jump in (understandably) but she's all for it Ahhhh please protect her :'D
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I am very much fine now! 20/20 vision and no glasses. HELLA.
And YE! Solana will be around a few times! Though not for a while after this haha. She has her uses. Usually they're to put this kid in his place!
Clare must be protected from all harm forever.
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DUDE THat sounds AmaZING :'DDD Congrats!!
Aw YESSSS >: D The best kind of mama! I love that she's present when she needs to be, unlike in the game where the mom just calls to ask if you need cash. ;w;
Petition to form a protection club for Clare (Y/N)
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Not a big fan of this as a reboot. :/
Assuming that I just started this story with these "new" pages, I have NO attachment to the characters on either side. It's just immediately a forced climax instead of just a starter battle. I liked the previous version that didn't expect me to automatically care for the protag.
Also, the canon-breaking is rather forced. That's just me. This is a huge reason why I don't read Nuzlockes anymore. Everyone wants to start as full throttle and hardcore as they possibly can instead of any real exposition. :/ Don't set the action bar too high on the first pages if you expect anyone to care about the later trials or battles. Might want to use the beginning to endear us to something first.
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Hey dude I had no idea you were keeping up to begin with haha.
I like that you cared enough to voice this. It's not often that I get really critical analyses like these.
It's great that you brought that up. I didn't think that the old prologue set up the characters very well, but here you are, telling me otherwise, and it makes me feel great that people thought at least THAT was written well. But with this new prologue, I didn't want to write emotion. The whole purpose of this quick-to-pull-the-trigger beginning is to keep the emotions on the low and the edge/tension on high. I wanted to go for a very shounen beginning, a quick climax that sets the stage and a beginning conflict and character motivations for the future. It was supposed to be a traumatic event for the protagonist, and as it's building up to that, things have to get worse and worse and worse.
I have a whole comic to make people care. I don't want people's judgement clouded by them liking Leon and disliking Silver right off the bat. Leon does disagreeable things too, and this is more to set up Silver than it is to set up Leon. Leon's development really begins in the last 2 panels of the next update.
Maybe I didn't handle it too effectively, but those were all my goals with the prologue.
The whole Nuzlockes issue as a whole is just up to taste though. Nuzlockes are changing fast, and I understand if people fall off because the genre has changed a lot and expectations and standards are different. That's just a consequence of change. I just think it's bad to set up a big serious conflict in the beginning unless the rest of the feature is more and more grandiose. I wouldn't have made Leon who he is and do what he does if this issue wasn't a puddle of trouble compared to the oceans he'll have to face later.
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Well, my preference to the old one doesn't make it great, I'm just saying that since Silver is so thoroughly emphasized as a Rocket, it's kinda obvious to any Pokemon fan that their first instinct is to be biased against him.
Nuzlockes are different from other fanfics in that they're based on a formula and cast that everyone already knows. So if you're working with a thing that everyone knows, you should do all that you can to endear the reader to the protag who is the variable rather than flaunt everything that you've changed. The protag is what sets these runs apart. Imo, alienating the canon is just giving me fewer reasons to believe that this is a Nuzlocke.
Btw, how do you even know me? You don't follow me or anything. XD
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Hmmm I can respect your author's critique. I don't want to paint Team Rocket as just a band of criminals so I have a lot under wraps to humanize and make them complicated. Hopefully after the finale people will see Silver as less "evil" and with more of a grey color.
I've struggled a lot with fears of people not seeing this as a Nuzlocke. But, hey, Nuzlockes as variable and I'm trying to break the mold even more. Hopefully in the future when everything is all said and done, people will view this 'locke as the beginning of a new and freer era. That's my goal, at least. As long as I played the game and detail it, what's stopping me? Gotta set up the changes I made a bit before I go in deep with the characters. All of that is over anyway.
And I know you cuz I've seen you around, dude. I've known you do Mon Amie, and you're Judgement's Beta Reader. You also set me straight when I was in an anxious place once!
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Well, I'm probably overthinking it, tbh. XD I always get all whiny and confused when I'm being sandbaged by different headcanons and shit right from the get-go rather than a more gradual take off in terms of exposition. If I RECALL, I think that the original CotS calmed down pretty quickly and began explaining itself fairly efficiently after the prologue. So I'm totally jumping the gun, in all likelihood. XD That's what I get for mixing Nuzlockes with vodka. XP
But! If I can offer any real advice, I think it'd be awesome if you could try to ignore fears about how shit looks to other people in terms of "is it Nuzlockey enough?" and whatever. Your gut decisions usually yield better results than anything.
Oh yeah. Judgment. Consider yourself lucky that you aren't Mae, because I give that chick pissy lectures like this constantly. XD It's how I show mah love, I guess!
Anyway. Good luck with the reboot. Stay toasty cuz.
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Woah, really impressive work. This whole thing was suh-weeet.
And I think that is the best use of a hood I've ever seen.
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Thanks dude! The hood thing was TOTALLY last minute but it was just SO RIGHT.
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Dude the amount of improvement in this is amazin'.
Also random point I like how you draw Silvers hair. XD
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Yeeeeess!!
I've been trying so hard!! And Silver's hair is SO fun to draw haha.
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HOLY WOW, I'm so glad to see this update!!!
I have a lot of awesome things to say about it--first of all, the art looks wonderful! I know those backgrounds were hard, but even if they tried to kick your ass, you kicked them back that much harder! The subtle treelines in the background, the textures and fences and all the little details just REALLY make it come together! Also, I know you were stressin bout that car but holy god? The paint on it looks flawless and you NAILED the windows. Absolutely destroyed this update. I can see every bit of your hard work here, and I appreciate it!
I love the expressions, as well. Leon has a lot of really good ones, and I think that also what REALLY raelly stood out was the writing. In the first runthrough of the prologue the writing wasn't bad, but here I think you've really established really strong dialogue and ohhhh gosh, that bit with Giovanni was absolutely KILLER. Every bit of that dialogue made the hair stand up on my arms! This really establishes more for your run here, in particular that Silver and Exaccus dialogue felt really nice.
Keep up the fantastic work! Also, I'm really flattered that you mentioned me, but I gotta say this is all you showing that you're a phenomenally talented artist, and that you're gonna keep becoming more and more impressive as your time goes through. The effort you put into this run really makes it shine as something special, man!
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Clare looks so friggin cute in this update T_T
The art is gorgeous too. I could spend hours just looking at the panel artwork alone. Idk why you were working on this when you just had surgery, but hey, it paid off? It looks A M A Z I N G
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The quality improvements are so mad! You do poses and proportions like never before!
Also, I really like the flashback on Giovanni's past. Gives him a much more human look as a character, for lack of a better word.
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I really like Giovanni the way I made him, so I want to try REALLY hard to humanize him. He's very important to me, emotionally. It makes me very happy that you think I'm already on that path.
And thank you so much!!! I really am very proud.
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NOICE bro! You really came through with this one! So many WIP shots later and it looks really great!
The pacing and dialogue has a much better tone and more conciseness to it to, from what I remember. Improvements all around~
Keep it up, bro!
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THANKS MAN!
I was worried about the dialogue and the pacing most of all!!
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That moment when your Cyndaquil farts fire from her back in your face.
I was super excited to see you update, and you definitely delivered on the hype! Thanks for mentioning me, but seriously dude, you did an amazing job on your own. This page looks good and you've definitely improved. That first panel looks especially amazing. I also like the relationship you established between that Scizor and Silver. Can't wait to see what's next!
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Oh my dear sweet Fluffle... I can't express how thankful I am for you. You really did help me much more than you know.
I'm very happy that Silver and Scizor's relationship was well enough established. This update was all about him so I was very very nervous and careful about the balance between plot and their relationship/history.
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