HOME | DD
Published: 2012-08-27 21:58:46 +0000 UTC; Views: 801; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 5
Redirect to original
Description
I constantly wonder about what would happen if I died. Right now. What would happen?And I always come to the same conclusion:
Nothing. Nothing would happen.
The number of people who would cry for me is lower than the number of fingers hanging from my hands. And when I say the people who would cry for me, what I really mean is the people who would cry for themselves, for their "loss". It's very true; we're a selfish species. We're terrified of losing people. Very rarely do we cry for the person who has passed away; we cry because something is now missing from our lives.
I'm not condemning this mentality. I'm guilty of it too. We're conditioned this way.
However, it does make my life seem even more pointless. My death, whenever it comes to meet me (or when I go to meet it), will be veiled by the self pity of those who cared about me.
Once the people who cared for me get past the "grieving" stage, they will think of me less and less. Sometimes, my memory might wiggle intrusively in between their thoughts of sex and money and TV, begging for attention just long enough for them to think, I miss her today. Elle me manque. She is missing from me.
Again, it isn't about me. It's about them.
And then, one day, somebody will look at a picture of me for the last time; somebody will think about me for the last time; somebody will utter my name for the last time.
What this has made me realise is that my life means very little in the grand scheme of things. I'm such a small, insignificant speck of dust that the universe can't wait to rub out of its eye.
I have no purpose.
This scares me.
Related content
Comments: 14
ToddNTheShiningSword [2015-03-25 12:44:40 +0000 UTC]
There is only one cure.
Carve something onto a rock and bury it deep underground. Maybe one day someone will find it? Maybe they won't. But the record will be there.
Actually, though, just because we're not remembered doesn't mean we didn't matter. The way I look at this, I look back at ancient people from, say, 6000 years ago. Every one of them is long forgotten, but they live on in out genes. I also believe that, as insignificant as those long forgotten people may seem now, if even one of them had made different choices, the whole world would be different.
Think about it. If that person was going to have any children at all after that choice that was altered in the timeline, they would have had a different child. The child they would have had would never have been, and would be replaced by another. That, in turn, would have automatically replaced every descendant that child would ever have had.
But what if they would have no more children, of if all of them would have died anyway? Still, the way everyone else's life around them went was impacted by their presence, so if they'd done anything different, that would have changed the lives of everyone else just enough to change the timing of all they did, plus possibly a great number of other things. Every child born to every person who ever knew that nameless individual from the past could be different. Imagine how big the effect of that could be 5000 years after the change.
And all of that is just assuming different sperm fertilize the same eggs, and nothing else in anyone's lives would have been changed by a different choice, but of course, one different choice could do way more than that!
Nothing humans make is ever totally new. Everything we have is based on what we had before. We've all marked the world in some small or large way, and long after we're gone, the world will still be different because of us. For anyone who doesn't believe one person has any effect, have someone from 5000 years in the future go back in time and remove that one person, then go back to the future and observe the effects. No one may remember any of us markers, but our marks are everlasting.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Heather-Chrysalis [2012-10-17 21:37:19 +0000 UTC]
I don't want to be forgotten either...I know there won't be another person in the history of the earth who is like me with my scars and memories, talent and love...I guess that's why I write and wrote my book, so I'll be remembered through my poetry. My poetry is my elogy, my epitaph, how I want to be remembered...I believe that everyone is important and has a significant role to play even though it may be obvious to them...
I also just read you comments to Kileandra, and often I live in the past too, and that brings a lot of sadness and regret for me...and of course I live in my imagination, a world of my own where I am a mermaid and am in love with a vampire...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Fineliners In reply to Heather-Chrysalis [2013-02-01 14:52:55 +0000 UTC]
And your poetry is absolutely stunning, so you'll be remembered beautifully <3
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Heather-Chrysalis In reply to Fineliners [2013-02-01 18:29:01 +0000 UTC]
Thank-you so much for that Sephanie! I hope so...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
KJ-Illustration [2012-08-31 15:23:10 +0000 UTC]
It's sad, almost harsh to see it so plainly written here, but you're right - one day all our evidence that we were here would be gone...
To be honest, I don't think about this that much, somehow I always live very much in the now, like when people ask 'where do you see yourself ten years from now', I never had a true idea, still don't - I just have a goal I try to follow.
Just know one thing, I would think of you often, like I do now Which reminds me, it's been ages since you send some words into my direction! Please, bombard me!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Fineliners In reply to KJ-Illustration [2012-09-01 02:08:06 +0000 UTC]
I struggle a lot to live in the now; I mostly live in the past and the future, which inevitably causes a lot of panicking and sadness. Of course, I also live in an alternative made-up reality occasionally, as many writers do, which is very wonderful indeed!
Sorry for not sending you anything in a while! I will try to get to both your e-mail and note tomorrow.
Love love love
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
KJ-Illustration In reply to Fineliners [2012-09-01 10:51:25 +0000 UTC]
Luckily you indeed have your creativity to escape in, that's at least something (not perfect, but it's a way to keep coping I think... )
I'd love to hear from you in an e-mail again soon, to be honest, when you go all quiet on me I always worry a bit that things are worse for you and I feel very powerless knowing I can't do one lousy thing to help
Loads of love back!
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
Fineliners In reply to KJ-Illustration [2012-09-04 20:27:31 +0000 UTC]
I'm okay at the moment. Tired but okay! I'm going to answer your e-mail right now!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
KJ-Illustration In reply to Fineliners [2012-09-05 18:37:01 +0000 UTC]
I'm glad to hear it Sets my mind at ease a bit again (:
I got your e-mail! As always, I'll get back to you as soon as I can (:
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Sammur-amat [2012-08-30 15:48:03 +0000 UTC]
Very harsh yet I dare anyone to deny the plenty truths found here
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Rangamatanga [2012-08-28 00:47:47 +0000 UTC]
Wow, so simple yet so emotional. What is always on my mind is now out in words. This is just so, beautifully tragic. I am left speechless.
Brilliantly done
👍: 0 ⏩: 1