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First-Second — Its like watching a person implode in real time
Published: 2017-08-01 06:23:17 +0000 UTC; Views: 3657; Favourites: 61; Downloads: 99
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You can tell yourself that they hate you, that its their fault you feel this way. You want to drag them down and make them understand why you hurt. They left you behind and you’re not even a memory. You can wrap up your hurt feelings and try to use your fancy words to make yourself seem sympathetic to others. That jealousy is natural, its human, and if you realize you’re being a shitty person it makes everything okay.
But its not even “you”, its “me”. I’m doing this to myself. I’m holding myself back. I’m my own worst enemy and there’s no one else to blame. I should try harder. I should BE better.
Have a pleasant day everybody, and bonus points if any of you even remember her.
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Comments: 13
This is rather emotionally potent - even the way she's seated seems closed-in and defeated. This is going to sound obvious, but I hate seeing people cry, and this artwork is bringing forth a lot of mixed emotions in me - it's that well done. Maybe I see aspects of myself somewhere in there... all you can really do is move forward. It's all the universe really permits you to do - time waits for no man, but this picture is a moment immune to time.
I needed a bit of time to figure out how to respond to this one, and even now I'm not sure I've done too well, but thank you for posting this - it's making me think about a lot of things dude.
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You can't do much about it really. Let the people who want to talk to you talk to you. Try to keep the "shitty person" part of yourself away from those actively trying to be nice and helpful, even if it means saying little to nothing. Keep moving forward a day at a time, even if you find yourself going through the day just because you can't wait till you can embrace the abyss that is sleep.
Even if you just keep moving along one day at a time with no goals it gives the chance for things to improve. Force yourself to do things good for you. Force yourself to put on the happy face for others if that is what it takes. Might get you somewhere better then you expect even if it's a fleeting high.
Life happens. You either move with it, or give up. Though if you're thinking of giving up it's best to realize that what happens after you doesn't exist. That there isn't anything after to look forward to despite what belief/indoctrination might suggest. That you won't get some afterlife clip-show showing what effect you had on others and if they actually cared or not. Just you end, and as far as the universe you perceive is concerned that universe ended with you. At best you can be proven wrong in such a belief, so it stands to reason keeping your expectations low in such a mood makes more sense.
Been in a similar mood for what some would say are valid reasons (and others would be dicks and tell me to get over it) for the better part of the past few months with the mood hitting the peak in it's downward spiral at the start of last month. Just sorta let myself drift along and honestly I get happy times mixed in. Things work out to let me enjoy myself and find new things and old things alike to give me little bursts of joy.
Can't say I'd be able to listen openly without saying anything, but if you feel like you need someone to go tit for tat with about the darkness you want to keep from the happy people then probably someone already down here with you is as good a place to vent as any.
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I, um... well.
Really not sure what to say about resurrecting a character from 2014, in full color no less, for this kind of pic. I hope whatever's bothering you is fixable, and I'm available to talk on skype or discord or notes if you need it.
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Whatever is keeping you down try not to dwell on it too much.
Go out, get some air, play a game. Something that will take your mind off it.
A clear mind works better than a distressed one.
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This one is lovingly drawn, yet painfully emotive; hope everything is going alright.
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Poor Ren doesn't look like she's having a good day. :c
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Wasn't she from those 'boob seal' pics you did?
Are you alright?
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I've had kind of a rough day and a lot of time to think.
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Sorry to hear; hope you're feeling better.
Regardless of the context, this is some really good stuff, man. Super emotive.
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I hope you can pull through whatever your going through.
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