HOME | DD
flash526 — Burn
Published: 2010-01-19 02:55:20 +0000 UTC; Views: 607; Favourites: 12; Downloads: 6
Redirect to original
Description
I stand and stareThe fire is there
Blazing high
Shooting sparks
Into the sky
I pull them out
The memories that were wrote
The fire burns
I make up my mind
I throw them in
And let the memories fly
I watch
As they slowly die
The fire burns them
Into nothing more
All of those memories
Will haunt me no more
Related content
Comments: 40
you sir are an amazing poet
this is a great idea
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Believe me, so do I.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
^^ well i say try to look forward not back
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yeah. I get what ya mean. I think though, that if you look into the past, or into the future, you miss what's right in front of you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Well the title of this poem Burn reminds me of the Jo Dee Messina song called "Burn" Gordon my very good buddy and friend here on the wonderful site that is known as deviantart.
Favoriting this.
Dancefreack16/Holly Marie Coeburn.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Maybe...the song I was thinking of was by PNH "Fly:
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yeah but I just thought of that song Gordon my very good buddy and friend here on the wonderful site that is known as deviantart.
Dancefreack16/Holly Marie Coeburn.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yeah, I know what ya mean
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yeah well certain titles with poems reminds me of certain songs as they do to ya from time to time and 
Dancefreack16/Holly Marie Coeburn.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yeah. A lot of songs inspire my writtings, and so some of the titles are closely related
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yeah well it depends on the song that I first hear in the morning that inspires what type of mood I am going to be in the rest of the day and
Dancefreack16/Holly Marie Coeburn.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I know what you mean. If I hear a really sad song in the morning then I'm not in a good mood, but if I hear a really fast paced happy song, I'm happy and hyper all day
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yeah there is this one song that really gets me and it's by this artist Patty Loveless and the song is called "How Can I Help You to Say Goodbye" and
Dancefreack16/Holly Marie Coeburn.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I've never heard of it. I'll have to listen to it
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Well it used to come on like all of the time at around 4:00 to 4:30 in the morning in Las Vegas,Nevada and
Dancefreack16/Holly Marie Coeburn.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yeah that song is sad but also at the same time it is very powerful Gordon my very good buddy and friend here on the wonderful site that is known as deviantart.
Dancefreack16/Holly Marie Coeburn.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yup right back at ya Gordon my very good buddy and friend here on the wonderful site that is known as deviantart.
Dancefreack16/Holly Marie Coeburn.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
The imagery that you used here is awesome!
A minor suggestion though, if you don't mind:
the rhythm is a little off in parts.
Try "And let memories fly" instead of "And let the memories fly". One syllable, I know, but it helps. And possibly change:
"I watch
As they slowly die"
to:
"I watch as
they slowly die".
Again, one syllable difference, and only minor. Honestly sometimes it works wonders between if a person likes a poem or not, has to do with how the brain works (don't ask me, I'm not an expert).
Great work, though!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks so much. And no, I don't mind. I've been trying so hard to get people to actually read and tell me what they think that to have someone who does is GREAT. Thanks
I'll remeber that as I'm writting from now on. Thanks alot
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Haha, well I'm looking at more of your poems and I'll do my best to comment and give suggestions!
Your stuff is good, though, so the only problems I can find so far are with form, and even those are minor.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Aww...thanks so much. Form is something I'm working on. I'm still trying to get my style of writting firgued out. I just started writting poetry last month, so I'm trying to figure out exactly what my style and such is
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ah, fair enough. Well if you're ever questioning form just ask. I'd be more than happy to help you out.
But only a month?
I'm jealous! Better than me!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Alright, I will.
I wouldn't say better. Poetry isgood based on peoples opinions. Someone may like mine, or thay may like yours. To truly find a poem that's better then another one, is opinion. Well, at least, that's how I see it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Haha, that's how it is, but my opinion is that your poems are better than mine! I WIN!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
