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I'm only 13 years old. I shouldn't have to go through this.

For the last several years, my father has been declining rapidly. He has Alzheimer's Disease and Dementia, and had to be put in an assisted care facility last year, two days after my twelfth birthday.

He had a stroke today, his third or fourth, and is likely going to die soon. The nurses say he hasn't got more than forty-eight hours, likely. My mother and I have been sitting with him for twelve hours now, holding his hand while he struggles and moans incoherently. He frequently motions to his head, like he's trying to communicate that he's still there, inside at least.

I've made up my mind I'm not going to cry. My mother is distressed enough already. I don't want to add to her worries. So, I sit by my father as he struggles, and hold my mom's shoulders as she shakes with sobs.

My father used to be a proud man. He was a music critic in L.A., then became a lawyer. In the last few years, his mind has failed so that he cannot continue his practice. He loved his family dearly, I'm told. I never really knew that, though, since by the time I was born, Dementia and Alzheimer's had already taken their toll. He was verbally abusive to my mother sometimes, until she grew to feel like she had to hide from him at times. I would sit out on the backyard steps, trying to get away from the hate and fear. Now that he's dying, though, I feel like I should have loved him more. My mother feels guilty, too, for not being more caring towards him, even though he certainly wasn't caring towards her.

Once or twice he has seemed peaceful today, but most of the time his breathing is labored, and he moves his hands jerkily, trying to communicate the words that his mouth can no longer form. On the rare occasions when he opens his eyes a slit, he just states at the air, not even seeming to notice me or my mom. I feel like I have to stay close by, though. I don't want him to die alone.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this on here. I suppose I just feel like, even though I am being strong for my parents, I still need to cry to somebody, even of that someone is a computer screen. I don't know. If you're reading this, pray for me and my family, please. Thanks.

Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }

I'm only 13 years old. I shouldn't have to go through this.

For the last several years, my father has been declining rapidly. He has Alzheimer's Disease and Dementia, and had to be put in an assisted care facility last year, two days after my twelfth birthday.

He had a stroke today, his third or fourth, and is likely going to die soon. The nurses say he hasn't got more than forty-eight hours, likely. My mother and I have been sitting with him for twelve hours now, holding his hand while he struggles and moans incoherently. He frequently motions to his head, like he's trying to communicate that he's still there, inside at least.

I've made up my mind I'm not going to cry. My mother is distressed enough already. I don't want to add to her worries. So, I sit by my father as he struggles, and hold my mom's shoulders as she shakes with sobs.

My father used to be a proud man. He was a music critic in L.A., then became a lawyer. In the last few years, his mind has failed so that he cannot continue his practice. He loved his family dearly, I'm told. I never really knew that, though, since by the time I was born, Dementia and Alzheimer's had already taken their toll. He was verbally abusive to my mother sometimes, until she grew to feel like she had to hide from him at times. I would sit out on the backyard steps, trying to get away from the hate and fear. Now that he's dying, though, I feel like I should have loved him more. My mother feels guilty, too, for not being more caring towards him, even though he certainly wasn't caring towards her.

Once or twice he has seemed peaceful today, but most of the time his breathing is labored, and he moves his hands jerkily, trying to communicate the words that his mouth can no longer form. On the rare occasions when he opens his eyes a slit, he just states at the air, not even seeming to notice me or my mom. I feel like I have to stay close by, though. I don't want him to die alone.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this on here. I suppose I just feel like, even though I am being strong for my parents, I still need to cry to somebody, even of that someone is a computer screen. I don't know. If you're reading this, pray for me and my family, please. Thanks.