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Description
I sit in class a listen to music and don't think about anything sure I may look upset but sometimes it just means I'm not in a talkative mood. Sometimes I sit in class and think about nothing while listening to music and get teary eyed. I know everyone can tell I'm not ok, but why does no one say anything?! I think it may be because when they try and ask why I'm in a shit mood I get pissy. Its the only way I can get them all to leave me alone. Sometimes I just sit around and think. I think about all the little reasons I get upset over. I realize most of my problems are petty. I realize they have a hell of alot to do with LOVE. Love that I know I will never know. Love I'm never shown. And as I write this I'm begining to cry because I know the only reason most of the people who ask me whats wrong only want to know so they can wait untill I turn around to make fun of me. This is going to slowly get into my insanity. Why I can't trust anyone I know I can see on a regular day to day basis. I may as well jump into that now though. I can't trust people I know with the thoughts that go through my head because well if half the people I know knew about three fourths of the things I think they'd probably want me in a mental hospital. AND because other teenagers are so cruel to sit there and listen to you poor your heart out and tell them all your feelings promiseing they would never tell another liviing soul. Then the next minute they go to someone else they know and go "OH EM GEE GUESS WUT AMBER FUCKETT JUS TOL MII!!" (no thats not my last name I seriously get called that!! And I also never talk like that, but I know people who do! BTW if your at this point in my rant thank you for reading my thoughs....) People are also cruel enough to go along and make rumers up about others and to make up cruel POEMS about others. I can tell you all the one they made for me...
"Amber Puckett,
she likes to suck it,
anything with a dick,
shes sure to fuck it"
Funny thing is... This chick right here... The one with the name of Amber Puckett. Ya, her, she's a virgin. One of the biggest virgins on earth!! People just try and break her down. Guess what. IT WORKS! I'm sick and tired of sitting in class with a fake smile plastered upon my face while telling EVERYONE "Oh ya, my days been great!!" I hate lieing to everyone like I do, but if I told the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth I think everyone would hate my guts. It alreadys takes all I have in me not to tell someone to fuck off everytime they try and ask me whats wrong. It takes more than everything in me to not roll my eyes when someone tells me "OMG GURL U SO FINE!" (again I must tell you I know people who speak like that!)I try my very hardest not to scream out "YOUR LIEING" or "THE CAKE IS A LIE" (yes its a portal reference!) everytime some pays me a compliment (yes I would actually scream the cake is a lie... to me compliments are like giveing someone sugar. And I don't deserve sweets.) I'm steriotyped as an emo, a freak, a goth. ANY of those and much much more. I get called a racoon because I wear all kinds of eyeliner. I get made fun of by all groups of people because I'm different and It just makes me feel AMAZING (heavy sarcasm if you didn't know) THEN, theres also the fact that I'm Bi-sexual. I get made fun of by people without them even knowing I'm bi. They go and say something rude about lesbians or gays and I get offeneded too. I get this feeling I should scream at them and tell them to shut the fuck up, but they wouldn't stop just because I tell them to. MY opinon and my sexuality mean nothing to them. I'm takeing my best friend Krystal who I dated many times along my middle school carrer to the end of the year dance comeing up. I'm just sorta hopeing no one makes fun of us for it. I have no clue how I go onto such topics but I'm going to stop myself before I go on for years.

Description
I sit in class a listen to music and don't think about anything sure I may look upset but sometimes it just means I'm not in a talkative mood. Sometimes I sit in class and think about nothing while listening to music and get teary eyed. I know everyone can tell I'm not ok, but why does no one say anything?! I think it may be because when they try and ask why I'm in a shit mood I get pissy. Its the only way I can get them all to leave me alone. Sometimes I just sit around and think. I think about all the little reasons I get upset over. I realize most of my problems are petty. I realize they have a hell of alot to do with LOVE. Love that I know I will never know. Love I'm never shown. And as I write this I'm begining to cry because I know the only reason most of the people who ask me whats wrong only want to know so they can wait untill I turn around to make fun of me. This is going to slowly get into my insanity. Why I can't trust anyone I know I can see on a regular day to day basis. I may as well jump into that now though. I can't trust people I know with the thoughts that go through my head because well if half the people I know knew about three fourths of the things I think they'd probably want me in a mental hospital. AND because other teenagers are so cruel to sit there and listen to you poor your heart out and tell them all your feelings promiseing they would never tell another liviing soul. Then the next minute they go to someone else they know and go "OH EM GEE GUESS WUT AMBER FUCKETT JUS TOL MII!!" (no thats not my last name I seriously get called that!! And I also never talk like that, but I know people who do! BTW if your at this point in my rant thank you for reading my thoughs....) People are also cruel enough to go along and make rumers up about others and to make up cruel POEMS about others. I can tell you all the one they made for me...
"Amber Puckett,
she likes to suck it,
anything with a dick,
shes sure to fuck it"
Funny thing is... This chick right here... The one with the name of Amber Puckett. Ya, her, she's a virgin. One of the biggest virgins on earth!! People just try and break her down. Guess what. IT WORKS! I'm sick and tired of sitting in class with a fake smile plastered upon my face while telling EVERYONE "Oh ya, my days been great!!" I hate lieing to everyone like I do, but if I told the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth I think everyone would hate my guts. It alreadys takes all I have in me not to tell someone to fuck off everytime they try and ask me whats wrong. It takes more than everything in me to not roll my eyes when someone tells me "OMG GURL U SO FINE!" (again I must tell you I know people who speak like that!)I try my very hardest not to scream out "YOUR LIEING" or "THE CAKE IS A LIE" (yes its a portal reference!) everytime some pays me a compliment (yes I would actually scream the cake is a lie... to me compliments are like giveing someone sugar. And I don't deserve sweets.) I'm steriotyped as an emo, a freak, a goth. ANY of those and much much more. I get called a racoon because I wear all kinds of eyeliner. I get made fun of by all groups of people because I'm different and It just makes me feel AMAZING (heavy sarcasm if you didn't know) THEN, theres also the fact that I'm Bi-sexual. I get made fun of by people without them even knowing I'm bi. They go and say something rude about lesbians or gays and I get offeneded too. I get this feeling I should scream at them and tell them to shut the fuck up, but they wouldn't stop just because I tell them to. MY opinon and my sexuality mean nothing to them. I'm takeing my best friend Krystal who I dated many times along my middle school carrer to the end of the year dance comeing up. I'm just sorta hopeing no one makes fun of us for it. I have no clue how I go onto such topics but I'm going to stop myself before I go on for years.