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Published: 2008-07-06 02:41:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 150518; Favourites: 2799; Downloads: 3838
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EDIT: Ack. Sorry, but I don't think I'll be responding to comments on the comics anymore unless it really picks up my interest XD it takes up WAAAYYY too much of my time to do so. Lul. I feel kinda bad, though - everyone deserves a response XD
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Because everyone should sooooo read Twilight.
BEWARE OF SEMI-LONG RANT.
Augh. I know a lot of people who hate Twilight, especially now that it's gaining popularity. Unfortunately, this is also the reason why more and more people like Twilight. My question is: WHY?!
For one, THE MAIN CHARACTERS ARE ALL FUCKING MARY SUES. Bella is so ridiculously clumsy that, rather than being an endearing character trait, it's a huuuuuge fault. Not only that, but EVERYONE. LOVES. HER. Now why is that? Especially considering the fact that, ummm, she's not supposed to be pretty? Not only that, but she can be such a bitch, too. And in Eclipse, she's downright horny. Pretty sickening, consider the one she wants to get it on with is dead. Damn necrophiliac...
Then there's Edward. He sucks at life, seriously. LOL 102-year-old virgin, anyone? Drama queen. Priss. Tries to be virtuous by refusing to have sex with Bella and PRETTY MUCH ATTEMPTING TO FREAKING RAPE HER AT THE END OF ECLIPSE. WATCHES HER SLEEP. Stalked Bella. And you know what? She didn't even care. She was actually FLATTERED that a potential murderer was following her around and staring at her through her window. Wow. No teenage girl can seriously be that trusting.
And then there's Jacob, who I was too lazy to draw. Two words: Fucking. Rapist.
Okay, so putting characters aside, let's talk about the plot. See the size of the book? Well, take a #2 pencil and admire it's size. Got it to memory? Well, if you chopped out all the bullshit and about 9/10 of Bella's thoughts focused on Edward, that's what the size of Twilight would be. As stated above, in the illustration, 298 pages in New Moon was wasted on the fucking "gaping hole" in Bella's chest. Errr, okay. But Jacob tried to help her! That was made null and void by the fact that she fucking left him to go with the guy who LEFT HER IN THE MIDDLE OF A FOREST AT LIKE MIDNIGHT.
Then there's Eclipse. Oh, Eclipse. Why oh why is Bella important enough to warrant a fucking VAMPIRE ARMY TO GO KILL HER? Seriously. And, oh look! She decides she loves BOTH Edward and Jacob (that whore!)~ Eeeyeah. Okay.
So yeah. I'm really far too lazy to rant more about how there's a lack of real plot and character depth. Yeah...
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Hahaha, ugly comic. Must go get another sugar cone. I am sooooo remaking this in the future xDDD
Does anyone see the reference to the worst fanfic ever? Enoby srsly reminds me of Bella during New Moon.
I could go on and on. I won't because I'm starting to get bored LOL.
Bella, Edward, Twilight, etc. (c) Stephenie Meyer
Related content
Comments: 1479
laura1098 In reply to ??? [2012-02-27 05:09:36 +0000 UTC]
I saw what you did there with the "Ebony" Part well done <3
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gangsterhobo In reply to ??? [2011-12-31 03:46:37 +0000 UTC]
oh the My Immortal reference XD
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E-tacha [2011-12-16 04:41:43 +0000 UTC]
To be honest, Bella was also horny in the original Twilight and REAL horny in Breaking Down.
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TheLopsidedGhillie In reply to ??? [2011-12-04 04:36:10 +0000 UTC]
ah, the temptation of edward
i feel slightly retarded for even getting the reference
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Raikagon In reply to ??? [2011-11-29 20:44:42 +0000 UTC]
It was an okay idea... but a lousy execution. Made me ashamed to be a Mormon actually. Stephanie Meyer will never bring her family honor!
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FaithInTheMoon In reply to ??? [2011-11-24 16:14:40 +0000 UTC]
BUT TWILIGHT ISN'T BAD.
I mean, it makes great firewood!
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kyotoxo2 In reply to ??? [2011-10-12 02:48:52 +0000 UTC]
This is the perfect excuse to burn twilight.
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LazyLimeA-Goo In reply to ??? [2011-10-01 09:47:09 +0000 UTC]
THIS. what is this brilliance, my god you've baffled me! and comparing Bella to Enoby....perfect, flipping perfect! I've come to the conclusion that SMeyer could very well be a grown-up Tara Gilesbie. makes sense, eh?
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Sakraida82 In reply to ??? [2011-09-14 22:24:04 +0000 UTC]
Mary Sue is often misused and has stifled creativity with amateur writers. However, this is not one of them. Good use of it and very true.
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Lunore In reply to ??? [2011-08-16 10:02:33 +0000 UTC]
This series is so unrealistic in so many ways.
I hate to be the girl who grows up reading this, then finds out her fiancee had his bachelor party at the mustang ranch...
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SweKat In reply to ??? [2011-08-07 06:27:03 +0000 UTC]
I love the last book.
Mostly because Edward had to remove the baby from Bella's waffle hole using his teeth. And Jacob "Imprinted" on the baby and wanted to have sex with it.
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Irukalovely In reply to SweKat [2012-03-14 20:32:08 +0000 UTC]
wtf that sounds so wrong... but i read it so i know what you mean... but seriously.. lol
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SweKat In reply to Irukalovely [2012-03-14 20:37:00 +0000 UTC]
It is wrong, because it's an utterly disgraceful piece of literature.
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Clover-san311 In reply to ??? [2011-05-13 02:26:39 +0000 UTC]
... hot muscular guy with sexy pointy teeth- YES
... somewhat attractive guy with flat yet somehow razor sharp teeth- NAH
my buffy beats yer twilight XD
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Twinkie101 In reply to ??? [2011-05-02 04:10:37 +0000 UTC]
You know, I think I like Ebony/Enoby more. At least her story was so bad it was funny.
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stevemacqwark In reply to ??? [2011-03-03 20:05:53 +0000 UTC]
Ugh! I think I'm going vomit through my anus.
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crazyforchocobos In reply to ??? [2011-02-25 08:07:23 +0000 UTC]
i only read the first two but now i can't remember why id didn't like them..should i reread them so i can have a valid point as to why i didn't like it in case i run into a psycho team edward twihard?
(Team jacob girls in my experience usually are rather nice)
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BabyMario6394 In reply to ??? [2011-02-05 08:16:31 +0000 UTC]
OHMYGOD I LOVE YOU FOR THAT EBONY/ENOBY DARKNESS DEMENTIA RAVEN WAY!!
i remember the day my bestie linked me to that fail fic...My Immortal...classic XD
seriously. that reference made this amazing comic all the more epic!
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Bluestarsapphire In reply to ??? [2011-01-30 02:29:06 +0000 UTC]
I agree with you -_-
I show Cattle and I named one of my bull calves Edward and on fair day a fricken lot of people thought that I named him after Edward Cullen. I told them flat out that I named him after Edward Elric from FMA.
that pist me off -_-
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notanirishgiinger In reply to Bluestarsapphire [2011-07-20 17:25:50 +0000 UTC]
I love that you named him after Elric. But, I'd get pissed off about that, too.
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thunderwolfmoon In reply to ??? [2011-01-03 16:35:00 +0000 UTC]
Necrophilia: Crack open a cold one to enjoy.
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SailorSuitedSoldier In reply to ??? [2010-12-14 19:31:27 +0000 UTC]
As much as I like Twilight, I love these parodies xDD
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KuroRezenar In reply to ??? [2010-12-03 17:10:29 +0000 UTC]
This reminds me of asian dramas. They first fall in love, then they're sad. Then they get back together, but they break up again. Then someone dies O_O thatshouldhappenforealz
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splattermusic In reply to KuroRezenar [2010-12-04 07:44:11 +0000 UTC]
Nah, asian dramas are better, at least you can laugh at them and have a good time. All you can do for this is just shake your head
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lizziedeviant In reply to ??? [2010-12-01 22:24:20 +0000 UTC]
HAHA Love it! AND the My Immortal reference X)
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ilovemostanime In reply to ??? [2010-10-31 20:10:47 +0000 UTC]
lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololollolololololololoololololololooooooooooolllllllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllllll (GASP) lllllllllllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Darren-Shan-07 In reply to ??? [2010-10-26 14:54:19 +0000 UTC]
BTW, I forgot to add...I mean horrible obbsessive fans. Some fans are OK, although I dont get why people read this anyway. Its the worlds most expensive toilet paper, as I would put it.
No offence...I dont think that will make much difference though...
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Darren-Shan-07 In reply to ??? [2010-10-26 14:52:32 +0000 UTC]
Sigh...I really wish you Twilight fans would fuck off and leave us to our business of hating what you love, get it?
Why the hell are you here if you like Twilight? If you dont like it then dont god damn look at it and go somewhere else.
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SexyUnillama In reply to ??? [2010-10-24 22:02:33 +0000 UTC]
bella has the personality of a white wall just a bitchy ugly white wall . .
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TheLonePower In reply to ??? [2010-10-24 16:04:18 +0000 UTC]
... i love you. i love you for this XD
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goldAshwolf In reply to ??? [2010-10-22 10:00:45 +0000 UTC]
thx 4 not puting bad stuf about jacob in it (l)
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Litle-Noa In reply to ??? [2010-10-17 10:37:14 +0000 UTC]
HOLY CRAP BEST TWILIGHT JOKE EVER!!!!!!!! XD
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Cap-a-Pie In reply to ??? [2010-09-29 22:58:52 +0000 UTC]
Hahaha lol! It's very amusing and expresses your hate for it SO. WELL.
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xXRavenSongXx In reply to ??? [2010-09-27 23:42:01 +0000 UTC]
I'm not a person who laughs easily. Trust me. Okay, I do, but not when I'm reading or watching something. So it's rare when I actually break down and start having hysterics (the good kind) and this is one of those times.
You have accomplished, in 7 little panels, where anti-twilight-ranters have failed for years. All you'd have to do to a serious die-hard Twitlight fan is show them this, and they'd either have an emotional meltdown and scorn the books forever, or throw a pie at your face in lack of a better, smarter, logical way to defend their love of an emo, necrophiliac Mary Sue, an "OOH look at me I is sooo smexy, oh wait, nvm, I'll go ditch you in a forest nao" sparkle-fairy pedophile masquerading as a vampire, and a "Yeah, I'm actually a werewolf. OH WAIT, nvm peeps, I'm actually a SHAPESHIFTER. Well, whatevs, I'll just go take off my shirt for the millionth time to satisfy my crazed fan girl audience." werewolf.
So thank you. Thank you for making everyone who sees this' day a little brighter.
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hollister32295 In reply to ??? [2010-09-27 23:09:22 +0000 UTC]
BWAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!! thats the some funny shit!! btw thx for the good laugh! love it! funniest twilight thing i seen on here!
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sumbreon In reply to ??? [2010-09-26 08:50:42 +0000 UTC]
I WAS DIING OF LAUGHT!!!
IT IS SOO FUNNY!
LOVE IT!
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