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Gigglish — Why you should read Twilight
Published: 2008-07-06 02:41:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 150576; Favourites: 2799; Downloads: 3838
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EDIT: Ack. Sorry, but I don't think I'll be responding to comments on the comics anymore unless it really picks up my interest XD it takes up WAAAYYY too much of my time to do so. Lul. I feel kinda bad, though - everyone deserves a response XD
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Because everyone should sooooo read Twilight.
BEWARE OF SEMI-LONG RANT.
Augh. I know a lot of people who hate Twilight, especially now that it's gaining popularity. Unfortunately, this is also the reason why more and more people like Twilight. My question is: WHY?!
For one, THE MAIN CHARACTERS ARE ALL FUCKING MARY SUES. Bella is so ridiculously clumsy that, rather than being an endearing character trait, it's a huuuuuge fault. Not only that, but EVERYONE. LOVES. HER. Now why is that? Especially considering the fact that, ummm, she's not supposed to be pretty? Not only that, but she can be such a bitch, too. And in Eclipse, she's downright horny. Pretty sickening, consider the one she wants to get it on with is dead. Damn necrophiliac...
Then there's Edward. He sucks at life, seriously. LOL 102-year-old virgin, anyone? Drama queen. Priss. Tries to be virtuous by refusing to have sex with Bella and PRETTY MUCH ATTEMPTING TO FREAKING RAPE HER AT THE END OF ECLIPSE. WATCHES HER SLEEP. Stalked Bella. And you know what? She didn't even care. She was actually FLATTERED that a potential murderer was following her around and staring at her through her window. Wow. No teenage girl can seriously be that trusting.
And then there's Jacob, who I was too lazy to draw. Two words: Fucking. Rapist.
Okay, so putting characters aside, let's talk about the plot. See the size of the book? Well, take a #2 pencil and admire it's size. Got it to memory? Well, if you chopped out all the bullshit and about 9/10 of Bella's thoughts focused on Edward, that's what the size of Twilight would be. As stated above, in the illustration, 298 pages in New Moon was wasted on the fucking "gaping hole" in Bella's chest. Errr, okay. But Jacob tried to help her! That was made null and void by the fact that she fucking left him to go with the guy who LEFT HER IN THE MIDDLE OF A FOREST AT LIKE MIDNIGHT.
Then there's Eclipse. Oh, Eclipse. Why oh why is Bella important enough to warrant a fucking VAMPIRE ARMY TO GO KILL HER? Seriously. And, oh look! She decides she loves BOTH Edward and Jacob (that whore!)~ Eeeyeah. Okay.
So yeah. I'm really far too lazy to rant more about how there's a lack of real plot and character depth. Yeah...
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Hahaha, ugly comic. Must go get another sugar cone. I am sooooo remaking this in the future xDDD
Does anyone see the reference to the worst fanfic ever? Enoby srsly reminds me of Bella during New Moon.
I could go on and on. I won't because I'm starting to get bored LOL.
Bella, Edward, Twilight, etc. (c) Stephenie Meyer
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Comments: 1479
The bane of the future's mentality.
I know a girl that stuck a safty pin in her arm to prove to me she was a vampire. It broke the skin and I laughed in her face.
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ROFL! i h8 twilight, tjis is funny and B-awesome, and soo true!
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This was freakin epic! lol. I like twilight, but pokin fun a it is fun too! Bella is so Bi-Polar. One minute she's all happy and in love, the next she goes into a spiraling deppression that wasted four pages of perfectly good paper.
And holy monkey crap. I think I lost brain cells reading 'my immortal'. XD
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My little sister swears it gets better ... I think she lied
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lol enoby makes an appearance. 
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LMFAO XD XD XD XD
I <3this. it's so freaking true! My school is full of twilight fans and I ust wanna go DXXXX whenever they start talking about how it's a work of literature. I gotta print this out and show them next time XD
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Haha, oh, the irony of your April Fool icon. xD
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I saw the My Immortal reference!! This is awesome and so true.
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No i completly agree wiv bella.... SHE IS AN IDOIT!!!
When i read Twilight i liked the layout. I loved the story completly (i still need to get Eclipse and Breaking Dawn) but the only problem i had with it was Bella.... SHES INSANE! AND STUPID, CUMPSY, AND JUST... NOT RIGHT?!?!?! I expected a female character who was strong willed and passionate but instead we get HER!?!?
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Twilight: the story of a girl's ultimate struggle between bestiality and necrophilia.
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... I'm sensing you aren't a Twilight fan. I'm right there with you.
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OMG
I AM LAUGHING MY FUCKING HEAD OFF
I LOVE YOU!
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so that's why my freinds read those, duh!
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100% TRUE, dude!
You might enjoy this article, if you haven't already read it. It's "How Twilight Works" by The Oatmeal. [link]
I also loved the MI reference. Bella (or "Pants" as I have come to call her) is a giant Mary Sue.
Screw Twilight! Vampires are not supposed to sparkle, you nincompoops!
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From this Great comic of your and the movie......I'm not Gonna read it X<
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Well, people like you treat it like it's hell on Earth while others treat it like the next edition of the Bible. This gets the mainstream to wonder "What the heck is up with this book? I should take a look at it." When they do, they come to one of four conclusions.
1) They hate it to some degree, hopefully not to the extreme of wishing Meyer was miscarried in the womb.
2) They find it so unbelievable in it's premise that it becomes a parody of a romance novel.
3) They think of it as a book, nothing especially good or bad about it.
4) They love it to some degree, hopefully not to the extreme of moving to Forks and stalking young former models turned actor.
Then again, how can we really measure the logic of the other proles without our own thoughts tainting the results?
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I apologize for answering about four months too late, but this comment caught my attention as I was cleaning out my inbox.
The reality is, I am not as adverse to the series in real life as I am on this website. Plus, it has been almost two years since the publication of this little parody - opinions change over time. While I still dislike the series, I am no longer fueled by that new rush of "EVERYONE LIKES THESE BOOKS FOR NO REASON AFTER I STARTED HATING IT" (believe it or not, I used to be one of the people who followed the series almost religiously, researching the characters and whatnot on fansite after fansite).
It is, in my humble (and perhaps incorrect or misled) opinion, impossible to look at anything without some degree of bias. If we were able to look at something apathetically enough to form a true opinion about it without being influenced by outside factors, we would have no opinion at all.
Thus, I believe it is impossible to truly see through the eyes of someone else in order to gain an understanding of the logic they used to come to a certain conclusion.
Please ignore this if my logic is absolutely unfounded.
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I understand.
I understand what you're saying perfectly. It's good to know that you've calmed down about it while still holding your views.
I must confess, I don't quite know what you mean by religiously following the series. Just out of curiosity, do you mean you once liked it or that you studied it to attack it better? Either way, I can buy that.
You have a point. If we didn't have any bias, we wouldn't have opinions, we'd just have facts. I also understand the comment about about it being impossible to see through the eyes of someone else. However, I believe that if we know enough about someone, we can guess pretty well. We still stand a good chance of being wrong about them, I concede.
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I mean that I once loved the series so much that I wished the characters were real with all my heart [obviously, my opinion has changed]. At first, I read New Moon and had no adverse feelings toward it (yet). In preparation for the release of Eclipse, I re-read it and realized how weak and pathetic Bella actually was as a character.
Eclipse simply solidified my dislike of the series.
You're also correct. Educated guesses about other people can be fairly accurate. However, I live by that saying about assumptions - "assuming makes an ass of u and me." As a cynical person, I still have to argue that a person's inner thoughts are probably hidden behind whatever facade s/he puts up in front of everyone else.
That's just my opinion, though, and it doesn't apply to everyone.
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I experienced sort of the same thing with Quest For Camelot as a kid. Loved it back then, realized the numerous errors in the movie later on. However, due to my desires regarding storytelling, I've been thinking since I re-viewed that movie and I've come up with several ways to improve on those flaws I noticed, as an exercise. I've also applied this to other things, too; stuff from the Nostalgia Critic and Linkara. I figure, "I can write, why not try and improve on ideas that didn't go right the first time around?"
I'm an idealist, as you might've guessed, and thus I believe that people can be totally understood. Regarding the thoughts of other people, I think we're both right in measure. People can be totally honest, or they can put up facades. If either of us tries to pass ourselves off as the complete and total truth, neither of us are right. However, as two truths in good measure, we nail it pretty close.
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I apologize for suddenly going off on a bit of a tangent, but I absolutely ADORE Quest For Camelot and have since I was a very, very young child! Although the plot does not fit in at all with the legends surrounding Arthur and Camelot, the animation isn't fantastic, the story has plenty of holes, and there are too many uncanny similarities to Mulan, there was something charming about the movie (and the songs in it).
Anyway, this is where we differ. I am too cynical to be an idealist (you may have figured this out about me, too). However, I have to admit that I am impressed with your final conclusion (that both of us are correct, yet neither of us are correct).
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It's OK; I go off on tangents all the time. Yeah, despite the flaws you mentioned, Quest for Camelot gets rather a worse review than it deserves, I think, just because it was from Warner Brothers instead of Disney. However, it did have a fair bit going for it, like the soundtrack, unorthodox but believable heroes, and interesting concepts like the Forbidden Forest and the ACME potion. Because of those elements, I would love to get my hands on the story and make a remake of it, just to fill in some of the holes in the story, maybe reset it in a world only similar to Arthurian myth instead of actual Arthurian myth.
Thanks for the compliment.
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Okay, I'm gone now.
=^.^=
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Yeah. Even better, it was her first story of any kind; mistakes were inevitable and, in my mind, forgivable. The fact that she managed to find so many people who liked her first book is amazing.
That said, I do agree on your other point, too. I found it especially precious when I was reading through the book the second time and I was focusing on how one person described Bella describing Ed 'like a junkie describing a drug' and then I noticed that both are attracted to the other, in part, due to smell. I then realized the two are so obsessed with each other because they're getting high off each other! That moment was just so precious.
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Yeah... I'm trying to write a book and it's NOT easy..
(actually, I've been trying for a couple years now 
If Bella was a "dog" she could smell Edward better!
......Sorry 'bout that. >_>
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You're lucky. I have the attention span of a speed junkie; I'm up to three main story ideas over the past three or so years.
What I wouldn't give to be a "dog"...
Don't worry, I'm behind on innuendos.
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Then again, if Bells was a werewolf, she'd hate the smell, wouldn't she? Xl
I don't have a very good attention span either.
I have what, four chapters? After three years?
=^.^=
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Yeah, wired in purposes are difficult to override.
Yeah, you've at least got chapters out. I still only have summaries. That's probably 'cause I'm a lazy bastard with nothing to do.
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XD
So am I.
Unfortunately, I DO have things to do, I just avoid them.
>_>
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Ditto here. Thankfully, I'm good enough at last-minute efforts that I can get away with it 95% of the time.
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Yes. It is good to be clever, is it not?
On the same hand, standing in a room and knowing you're the smartest one in it can be a bit of a drag at times.
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I'd be lucky to be counted amongst the smart at all in the room.
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I am lot for words, that is all I have to say.
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*lost for words. XD 
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Twilight doesn't deserve a nutshell. Is there anything smaller?
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omfg i died over the my immortal ref.
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lolz amzeing lolz
why couldn't this be a book it's wounderful!
it cuts off half of the bull carp
thank you for making an awesome comic
poor vampires
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i dunno, i find it really funny that a fic writer even came out with a book series /anyway/ the fact that it's pop is just icing on a very cheap cake, though if you look at the age-group it's geared towards(always one age group younger than what it 'seems' to be aiming for) it's the last part of a child's life where they are still ignorant of the world as seniant(prolly said that wrong though)
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Lol that comic just made my night.
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Alright. I'm putting this straight out there. Forever and a half ago, I read the books. I'm sorry but compaired to other vampire love stories I've read, Meyer's writing is no longer so special. You want a good story with REAL vampires, read something like Vampire Knight, or hell, be brave and wonder into the ADULT section... -_-
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Ah, but wandering into the adult section may lead to dire consequences (i.e. the poisoning of a young girl's mind LOL). Once you've read something, you can't un-read it.
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Yes, but it's better then believing vampires sparkle. I picked up one of my mom's vampire romance novel's when I was nine. I will forever remember the only line I read. It was a sex line.
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There should be a group [most likely on facebook] that says, "when I was your age, vampires wore capes and had fangs, not sparkle."
I, too, remember the first erotic vampire romance line I ever read - it was also a sex line .__.
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I think I may go make that group now...Thank you for the idea.
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If you did, I would probably have to join it
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