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High school mathematics have been the source of heated controversy for many years. Letters have been written, marches have been marched, and thousands of innocent pies have been thrown. The Canadian Division of the Knowledge, Study and Containment of Numbers (the Canadian Math Division was already the name of a popular gardening group in the United States before we thought of it) is at the forefront of the controversy.
Hubert G. Winkleshins, spokesman, president, vice-president, marketing
director, distributor and janitor of the CDKSCN, defends his department, saying, "We don't make up all the numbers - just the imaginary ones."
Over the years, many complex, multi-sided questions have been posed about secondary school mathematics, such as where exactly students can put to use their extensive knowledge of how to multiply binomial radicals if the humidity is less than 60% on alternate Wednesdays. The research department at CDKSCN (Hubert G. Winkleshins) is currently researching the implications of the fact that this question has no discernible answer. Many critics have taken this to mean that high school math is useless in real life. This, says Winkleshins, is blatantly untrue. "There are many real-life jobs that involve the kinds of advanced math dealt with in secondary education, such as high school math teacher, textbook author, and... well, I can't remember the third one off the top of my head, but I'll put my secretary on it."
The secretary, young, up-and-coming desk turtle Delores P. Bleeblebrains III, was unavailable for comment.