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Dear Jake,

         I don’t think you even know who I am, other than maybe that awkward girl who was supposed to be your partner in gym that one time, or the one who always comes up to Ashley for a hello before school. I am pretty much positive that you don’t know that I’m Natasha’s best friend, or was anyways before she went away.

         You see, she even thinks she might love you. And the first thing I want to tell you is, watch it, you creep because I’ve been hearing some things about you that aren’t so great – I know who you hang out with and what kind of person you’re likely to be, and I’m shrewd enough to read between the lines of the poetry she writes you. Don’t give her anything more to justify, you got that? She’s got enough to deal with without you dumping more on her. And while you’re at it, don’t corrupt Kai either, okay? He’s a nice enough kid underneath all his stupidity, and for all his posing he’s really pretty innocent. Don’t wreck that for him. Same thing goes for Erin – and Ashley and Gabi and Justine and a whole slew of other people. But then, obviously, I could write you another whole letter about that now, couldn’t I?

            But then there’s that other thing – that you’ve done for her what I couldn’t figure out how to, even with how inconceivably much I love her. She’s happy, and she’s got you to blame for it. So the second thing I want to tell you is thank you. You’ve made her feel like she fits, and it’s more than any of us have ever been able to give her. I will always be indebted to you for that.

           But there’s some things you should know about her. Ones you’ll never hear in other places because I don’t think she knows them herself, and other people are too afraid to get close enough to see.

           Number one: Protect her. She doesn’t look it or act it or maybe even know it herself, but she’s delicate. Keep her out of harm’s way: she doesn’t know what’s good for her sometimes, because she’s brave and irresponsible and will do practically anything on a dare or for a thrill. She also (and this she knows) has an addictive personality. Stay clean. Keep her clean.

             Number two: Be nice to her. I don’t care if this relationship lasts two weeks or two months or twenty years, you better treat her like a fucking queen the entire time. Better yet, treat her like someone you love. Be clear; she’s not a subtle person and she’s also a bit of a worrier. Don’t give her any reason to worry. And if you break up with her (you better not) you better be absolutely damn sure you’re doing it as kindly as possible.

           Number three: Make her happy. Keep her that way.

Yours more sincerely than you will ever believe,

Me (everybody knows my name but still.)