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so this is now the time to slip below the surface - have you noticed, when beneath the skin, that things get bloody? and getting to the heart of things is difficult since we've protected ours so well (isn't that what ribcages and bitterness are for?) but the battle to attain it is a vain-fought fight for once i get there i find you took it with you.

tell dustin i'm going to school with paul now.

the hole that is your legacy is just like you - it will only stand being ignored so long before it rears up and refuses. forgetting it proves possible for a total of a day, six hours and seven minutes (that's my record) and then i neglect to watch my step and fall right in. the bruises are a color that i've never seen before. it's gotten to the point now where the motherhood adage is true in mico-format: the weeks blur by like the cars we always envied but the days are caught in drab molasses repetition.

did i ever tell you that i hate those kind of cookies?

oh, and before i forget, a taste of disillusionment (or maybe an i-knew-it-all-along i-told-you-so) for you. our well-esteemed comrades and classmates play the game we thought we'd got away from. as an official honorary english student i'm sure you can guess where i don';t spend my lunch hours now.

i bet you didn't know it hurts more not to be able to cry when you want to.

so. (and here's the incomplete highlights of the poem i sort of wrote in the book i never returned you)

remember that the world is poetry, because maybe i won't, and watch the kiera kneightly pride and prejudice to convince us all that first impressions are misleading (case in point). remember that you taught me by example to be brave. i can tell you now that capitals and grammar are a paper-thin denial of the color blasts that lurk between the lines. conventions are a lousy conduit for shining creativity and a too-large sense of destiny. and those prismacolor locks, my dear, are a heavyhanded metaphor for the picture show inside.

flash and it's another perfect shot.

once upon a time there was a girl who flew across the ocean on pastel wings of butterflies but no, too dainty for the distance, they failed her halfway through and

once upon a time there was a girl who still is falling.