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gimpbeginner β the brothers grim
Published: 2009-06-09 03:18:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 362; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 1
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dear rapunzel:the prince has come and gone, leaving you high, faraway and alone
but there will come others and others and anyway you have been alone for years.
(visiting hours are from noon to five, right?)
dear rapunzel:
how did it feel, to touch the clouds?
dear rapunzel:
this tower you have built yourself, brick by brick and stone by stone β you will never leave it until you let your hair down long enough to climb out.
(there was never any witch, only you and him and us β but that was enough)
dear rapunzel:
i wished you a happy ending, but this story was written a hundred years before i was born.
moral: morals are for fairytales, not real life
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Comments: 49
Ooohh... That one took me shamefully long to get. I'm out of practice with these....
I like puzzling over them, though. There's a definite tone of detachment through most of your writings, and that puts it all into perspective, makes it a cold wondering with a touch of sympathy. Well done.
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Thank you! Just out of curiosity, what did you get out of it?
The tone of detachment is somewhat on purpose - what I'm trying to do (if you'll excuse the hackneyed colour metaphor) is create a picture in grayscale (information, albeit through metaphor most of the time) and then put in a few shots of red or green or blue (emotion). Like, the clouds line was supposed to show that even though I write about how this person had so many problems in her story, I still yearn for some of what she had.
Wow, that was long and probably pretentious. My apologies, I'm taking a break from writing a response for English on the movie Chocolat and my brain's on symbolism mode.
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Wow, even your explanations are eye-catching. ^^ Not pretentious at all, it was interesting.
Yes, I love a detached tone. A more intimate tone can be good, but often it makes the author sound gushing or over dramatic. This let's the reader develop his own degree of emotion on it.
I was debating between this being a literal take on the story of Rapunzel from a different point of view or a metaphor for someone else you may be alluding to. (Heh, look what you did to me. Now I'm drowning in English mode. All those horrific essays are coming back to me...) Ultimately, though, it was almost a sense of injustice or unfairness. You know that fairy-tale ending that's supposed to happen, but instead everything goes wrong and she's left alone. The third part, though, seemed to say that it was her own fault. She imagined something was keeping her there (the witch mentioned), but it was all in her head.
*shrugs* I don't know if I was right at all. But that's what I got. Heh, I'm probably missing something huge...
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Thankee! I try so hard to avoid gushing, so sometimes it ends up sorta robotic, but to me it's better than sounding like an overenthusiastic teenage girl (although I am, I hate writing like one).
Well, it's hard to guess when you don't know the situation. I was alluding to a friend - all my poems are based on real life, which is kinda sad but oh well - and it was a sense of injustice. I wanted a fairy-tale ending for her, but this time she didn't get it. The third part was alluding to the fact that she is a pretty sensible, by-the-book person and I think maybe the key to her happy ending will be letting go of some of her comfort.
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love it soooo much. thanx alliah 
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well what else is there to do? listen to charbs? no thanks!
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<333
What i love in all your poems is how you say so much without directly telling it all.
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Thank you! The Rapunzel idea I had in my head ages ago for this person (the tower thing, mostly) but it took awhile for something to write for it to materialize. Thus, it's a little more fraught with emotion than maybe it should have been.
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Emotion's fun, though 8D And if it took some time, that means it had plenty of opportunity to mature and you've creased out most of the kinks from the beginning, if not all (because you're so great at doing that). I start to wonder if there are sometimes kinks in the first place xDD
-hoog-
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Well, looking back it doesn't seem like I put loads of emotion in there, but I was definitely feeling it! What I usually try to do is make sort of a background with information (using metaphor, of course, but it's just information nonetheless) and then put in a few lines of emotion. Like, the clouds line was supposed to show that even though I know this person has gone through a lot, I still yearn for some of what she had.
And oooohhh yes there are. I usually start with single lines that I like, and so I have to fit the whole stupid poem around them (for example, this one started with the "dear rapunzel" line and the image of this person as in a tower high up and detached from the world). It usually doesn't work.
Wow, I'm being so pedantic and annoying about this poem. I already went off on a rant about this with Thunderingnight. Either it means I'm proud of this poem or that I need to take a break from writing my English response. I'm thinking the second.
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xDD I find nothing wrong with a smart analysis - it helps me understand what you wrote even more.
And hey, picking a line you like and working from there is the method for many people: it's like authors who start in the middle of their books and imagine the beginning and end from there.
So no worries <333
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Good.
-breathes sigh of relief-
I was in a mood that day because of my disgusting English assignment which I was procrastinating on.
Oh, when I write stories I always start from the end and work backwards. Usually I can get the beginning okay, but it's the middle I always have trouble with.
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Aaah, okee - English assignments can be a pain. <333 But don't worry: analyzing your own work means you know what you did certain things for, so it shows that you put plenty of thought into your writing, and that's kudos to you.
I start in the middle x33 Beginning is terrible for me, and I never know when I should stop.
Heyhey, gimme an example of your train of thought during the making of a story <3333
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Thanks!
Okay, train of thought...
(This example is from Halloween, but I follow the same one for all my other stories)
1) I should write a story where the main character's friend (one who's been around for the whole story and has garnered affection from readers) turns out to be a ghost.
2) Hey, I should set that on Halloween, so they have to leave and that will make it even sadder.
3) Okay, well, I need some kind of device to make sure people don't get suspicious. Umm... dead friends!
4) -begins writing beginning- Haha, he's funny!
5) (halfway through story) Oh crap... gotta have a few more events. Erm... checkers?
6) Finally, the ending!
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xDD
"Erm... checkers?"
Might there be some sort of deep signification for this game? o_o Hmmm...
Cooool 8D
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Not really. It was mostly to build up the relationship a bit ... you know, reader sympathies towards Mel. I thought Bryce was taking over at that point, so it was an attempt to deal a little more with Mel.
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Hmm... okee <33
Hidden significance is fun, though 8D
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It is. I wish I could say I'd put some sort of hidden symbolism in there, but really it was just a fun sad story.
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Could be you put summat in unconsciously x33
Yet even without the fun of symbolism, I did love this story - as I love everything you write.
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YOU'RE BACK!!!
And that could be. And thankee! And that's a lot of 'and's.
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Just for a day, and now another x00 BOO. Sorry. But I'll be back once again soon enough x333
And it is. And that makes one more 'and' we could add to the long list of ands we already got 80 And yer welcome <333
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Dx
You're gone again? Sadness! Where are you? Were you, I guess, by the time you see this.
And maybe we should count?
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I have been in many places, and many times...
OMG that totally sounds like something out of some grubby heroic-fantasy novel x0
Yeah, herm, pardon this excess.
I'M SO GLAD TO BE FIIIIINALLY BACK! x33333
-tacklemunch-
Lessee now... one two eleven thirty two hundred and fifty-seven...
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Haha, it does! Where were you? Anyplace interesting? Of course, "in the south of France" doesn't have quite the same novelty for you...
Tacky the Penguin counts like that! Did you ever read that book when you were little?
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Well I hope it was interesting! x33 In any case, I found it so: there was the sea (though the nice beaches were of course monopolized by private restaurants...), a farm (GOATS! CHICKENS! and the all-powerful colony of feral cats), Toulouse (and video games x33), Paris... ETC! I don't usually go to that many places in two months. 83 What about you? Where?! Cmoncmon, tell me your vacation stories x33
No, but I wish I had now DDD:
Sounds like a book I would've enjoyed x33
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It does sound interesting! Although, being Canadian and therefore used to the natural world being of the craggy and dangerous kind of beauty, I probably wouldn't have minded being on rocky beaches.
Feral cats... excuse the Valley-girl Internet-speak, but... LOL!
I went to Jasper for three days - the Canadian Rockies, which are supposedly reasonably famous in other parts of the world. Although I don't know about France - our stereotype of you is that you really could care less about visiting other countries, since your own is so completely wonderful. Jasper's nice - more of that craggy and dangerous beauty. And then I went to singing camp, and then I came home.
It really seems like a book you would enjoy. The synopsis: Tacky lives on an island with a bunch of perfect penguins who paint sunrises and sing pretty songs and march 1,2,3,4. Tacky sings songs like "How Many Toes Does A Fish Have?" and marches 1, 5, 3 1/2, 17 29, 0. Or something like that. Hunters come and Tacky chases them away with his oddness. Yay Tacky.
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No, not rocky - those would be fine <333 (well, only somewhat, I admit xD) The public ones were simply full of trash. GAWSH I wish I could go to Caaanada. :333
xDD It's true! I think they're massively in-bred, though, because they're all black or gray with some white here and there (basically the same genes but sometimes diluted). There's a really friendly long-haired one, though <333 But they're all skinny and scraggly... Poor things.
Waaaw... o_o There must be so many beautiful places to go to over where you are. Well, maybe some of the French never leave the country (I have no idea, actually x0), but my family certainly loves seeing other places <333 What's singing camp?
xDDD Tacky saves the day. Of course!!
Well it's always got to be the outcast who's revered as a hero, don't it?
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Ew, really? All the beaches I've ever gone to are national or provincial parks, really, so littering is severely frowned upon and usually punished with heavy fines.
Inbred kitties? Poor things - any extra arms or legs, at least, to console them for having such boring colors? xD
There really are - Canada's got an average population density of about 3 people per square kilometer, so if you factor in big cities like MontrΓ©al and Toronto, there are enormous swaths of uninhabited land. Lots of it is cultivated farmland, but there are loads of provincial parks, and the thing about Canada is that it's so enormous, you can go from Arctic Circle tundra to coastal rainforests in one country. There's not a lot of people stuff (theatre, shopping, etc) that you couldn't do bigger and better in the US, but if you're going for the natural scenery, it's gorgeous.
Singing camp is a choir camp - I sing alto xD
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Yeah, cigarettes and plastic wrappers and such... I wish we had regulations for French beaches. I just hate the public ones where everybody throws stuff around. I found a plastic Superman figurine in the water once. And a pen. xD
Nope, just a lot of skittishness and skinny tails. :{ Poor waifs.
HOMAIGAWSH, I want to go live there with my hundred or so cats when I'm old and retired and capable of walking for hours every day. That would be the bomb. The shizz. The utter and complete heaven of my life.
Okay xDD Alto's lower down the scale, right? I think. It's been a year since I did any music and I've forgotten hal of what I learned already xD Sorry.
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Indeed, although Canada is far from perfect. I'm suprised France doesn't have more regulations, actually - our image over here is that Europe is generally a lot more careful about environmental stuff like litter and greenhouse gases.
Awwe, waifs is probably a good word for them.
Haha, it's definitely possible. Acreages are pretty expensive, but surely not as expensive here as they are in Europe.
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Oh sure, most people are pretty careful about it, but I don't think we've put up any fines for someone who throws a bit of plastic or whatever somewhere (of course, it's different if you start going into heavy-duty stuff like washing machines x00). Probably plenty of other countries in Europe are much more concentrated on environmental care than the French...
-nodnodnod-
It's a sweet-sad word.
Tchyeaaaaah 80 It's like, apartment prices used to skyrocket (seems they're going down now, though... good news I think).
And if you stay in Canada, we could have old lady visits with tea and lots o' reminiscing <333 Hmm. I'd like to get a thick wool shawl and a rocking chair.
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Hmm... I know we have fines and stuff, but I'm not sure how much people actually enforce them. I do know that our national parks are quite clean, especially Jasper and Banff and internationally known places like that - we want to impress the foreigners.
Yeah, probably. Or maybe our stereotype of you is totally wrong xD
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Heheh xDD Well whatever reason you've got for it, I find it great that the environment's taken care of. That's swell enough, even without the righteous defense of the matter.
xDDD Hah, that's what stereotypes are for I guess. :00
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I do too, and I'm really glad China's getting on the bandwagon (they want to increase wind power production 10% in the next five or so years - I'm unclear on the details).
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Wow, really? That's sure to make one massive difference, seeing how many people live over there. It's a relief to know the bigger countries are participating, or at least plan to <333
(ohgawdsosorryididn'treplybefore DDD:
-hoogtackleglompnomnom-
GAWDZMISSEDYOU schoolsucksbytheway GLADWECANTAAAAAAAALK 8DDD)
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Yeah, it's exciting! And Kim Jong Il is hoping to have peace talks with the US,and it's all very exciting on the global front!
On the local front, the Alberta government is planning on closing hospital beds meant for the chronically mentally ill - I hate my province.
(DON'TWORRYDON'TWORRY!! It's all good nowwww! Are you in some new school now?)
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OHGAWD. THEAGONY. Must... shoot... smiley.
That was a very obvious DDD,: but of COURSE the post changes the darn thing and is incapable of carrying my worry and sorrow... because I also write like an ass with arthritis in its hoofs. Hooves. WHABAM.
OHGAWD. The chronically ill people.
Governments suck that way, and only because I just don't feel they're worth the time of a long, eye-burning rant when they do irresponsible crap like this. They're supposed to be helping, not condemning.
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DDDD:< Grr. For every hospital bed closed down, someone eats a kitten (and someone else loses a bed, how sad DDD,
(nope, sameoldsameold, but I just reached a new level of mental pain)
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lol, u get it now?
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indeed i do xD.
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Aweh ;_;
Poor Rapunzel.
I think this one's one of my favorites, though <3
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Yeah... you'd think so, but you know, she's pretty independant.I think she'll bounce.
(once again it's a person)
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Well, then I wish her the best <33
Oh, and The Brother's Grim? I almost watched it yesterday.
Just thought I'd add that in, even though it's not important at all xD
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Awwe, I liked that movie. Except for the kitten. That scared me just a little...
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I wanna see it sometime!
Whoa, that was weird. I was typing and was like 'I should probably not text as much'
But I'm not texting, I'm typing, and now I feel kinda confused xD
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That's interesting. Actually, if you're not on a plan (which of course I'm not) they're starting a 15 cent charge every time you recieve a text. So even if you never answer, if your friends are talkative you get hit with a crapload of fees.
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Gah, that sucks! I need to convince my dad to get me unlimited texting for next year, so that I can keep in touch with everyone who's not going to Scona.
OH. I GOT MY COURSE LIST. I have all the three different kinda arts that I wanted! EEEE.
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