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gimpbeginner — to tell you i am inadequate
Published: 2009-08-23 23:00:48 +0000 UTC; Views: 267; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 1
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to so many people i love (but not enough):you are the white bear,
you are the frog prince,
you are beauty’s beast –
you will have your fairy-tale ending – just not here.
(you see, what you need to transform is love, but also seeing eyes and open hearts and the strength to act, and i maybe have three out of four if i’m lucky.)
to so many people i love (but not enough):
you never see the times i rush to your defence, because they are few and quiet and i fear absolutely everything, up to and most definitely including you,
and because they are most definitely not enough.
to so many people i love (obviously not enough):
do you know how much i risk for you?
nothing.
and that, i’m scared to say, is more than most.
to so many people i love:
it’s not enough.
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Comments: 46
heh, i know.
does it make sense? because you're beauty.
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it kind of does, but a little more clarity wouldn't go admis ^^
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hm. well, it came out of thinking that all these people really needed was someone to love them the right way, and it was just kind of born out of this fierce hope that someday that would happen, and if i was helpless, then at least someone else could help them.
and ... that's what happened.
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so how for michael? or was it for *unknown* and then *unknown* became him?
sorrry for all the questions ><
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he was one of a bunch of people i felt that way about. like... randy was another, for example.
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he was just one of those really nice people who people always seemed to either ignore or bully, and i always just wanted to tell him it would get better.
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things change, we keep our heads up ^^
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Lovely topic, I must say. I think we all tend to do that in some respect. Quick question for you: do you decide the linebreaks and spacing as you go along or after you've written the whole poem?
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Yeah, I agree. I just feel guiltier about it, I think... go me. 
And: As I go along, mostly. Sometimes I change them or add more negative space between the lines later, but I usually know what I'm doing as or before I write it. Why? Critique, as you know, is always welcome.
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Don't worry, I feel that way too.
I was just curious because I was trying to figure out your pattern with the varying amounts of space between the lines at the end. You're one of those writers who often uses the negative space to further emphasize your meaning and purpose, so I was just curious if this poem retained that particular quality.
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Hmm. There definitely is a rhyme/reason to it and why it's so complicated (new stanzas coupled with needing negative space) but mostly it's just what feels right. That sounds so hokey it's unbelievable, but I can't think of anything else.
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It's not hokey; in fact, it's quite true. Some people try and puzzle over poetry, count out rhyme schemes and the like, but in all honesty, sometimes the best poetry is what sounds right to the ear, and as you aptly put it, what simply feels right.
By the way, I have not forgotten your story, trust me. Real life has gotten in the way a bit, but I'll get there!
-hoogles Chaos-
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Urgh. Rhyme schemes. You notice my poems never have any? This is not by accident, I assure you. I abhor counting things out and suchlike - I am definitely not a linear person.
Oh goodie. I was wondering if you had, and a nice story from you would brighten up my week considerably.
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I knoooow. Not to say that rhyming poetry can't be well done or have impact, but in all honesty, it gets sing-songy all too often and you lose the beauty of the sound of the words themselves. Not to mention that the writer's focus gets diverted from what they are trying to say to making everything "conform." Don't worry, neither am I.
Hehe, not there quite yet. I really will try for the end of the week to "brighten it up" if I can! The thing keeping me back is college apps, which are nightmarish. I recommend that you thoroughly enjoy every year you have left before you have to deal with them.
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That's exactly what happens to me! The "making everything conform" part, anyways. Some people can do it really well and say everything they want to say in a perfect rhyme scheme, but I am not one of them. The poetry I write - or what I try to do, anyway - depends more on finding beauty in mine and others' disorderly lives. I don't feel like I should even try to impose order on that.
Awwe, poor you! I've still got a couple years to go, but knowing me I'll be in the guidance counselor's office looking for scholarships by January anyway.
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And you shouldn't. Sometimes chaos (pardon the pun) is what gives the poem form, paradoxical as that might seem. In my case, sometimes it's not so much the beauty in other's chaotic lives, but the sonic beauty of the words themselves. If I think the word "mellifluous" should be in a poem because it sounds beautiful and fits thematically, then no "rhyme scheme" or "beat pattern" should be able to stop me.
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And adding on to Sadictic's too-true comment, you always write in such a fine, detailed way... I always get the impression you're weaving an image with your words.
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That's what I try to do, so it's incredibly high praise that you think so.
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Then you succeed wonderfully <333
And thanks x] If it compliments you as well, then I'm fine with it - because those are what you need now, since you allllllways critique yourself 80
-hugs-
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Well, I don't know about that... it's always needed, isn't it? If I only listened to biased people like you, I would have a pretty swelled head by now, no?
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BAW. Not swelled enough, says I :0
But yeah, you're right - critique is needed to improve your work (though I think you already do quite well enough to go with very little of it <333). HOWEVER! You must counterweigh (is that right?) it with compliments, otherwise it gets to be considerably crushing ;_;
Well, from my point of view x00 MRAO.
-glomp-
Sorry, just had to do that x3
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Counterbalance, maybe?
And really, I suppose you would be sort of right, but I still can't let praise go to my head.
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That's the word <333 Thanks!
BAW. 8DD You're too serious.
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Nooo... I'm too... something else. Can't think what.
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Toooo MODEST. <333 Aha, there's the word.
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Err... if you like to believe that, go ahead. I like to believe that there are standards of writing and that I am realistic in judging my own attempts at meeting them.
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Durr. I still find you're too hard on yourself most of the time. :{
BUT!! Wutever x33 -glomptacklehoog-
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Well, between people telling me I'm good (like you) and me thinking I'm not, I should strike a pretty realistic balance, neh?
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... Hmm. Good point. x33
Kay then, we can just stick to that 8D
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That works!
(But it means more arguments... Dx)
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Bah, we should just stop arguing over it, cuz neither is ever going to let go x00 A compromise is better than a war of words! Well... I think... >_>
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you're poems take many re-readings to like... grasp.
just thought i'd let you know.
i never really get them the first time.
altough, it's sad..
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haha, yeah, i'm cryptic. i could explain it, if you like, but w/e.
and yeah, it's sad. i never write happy stuff. i don't know why.
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you aree. explain please love :]
and yeah, i hardly do either.
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i was feeling guilty because i didn't defend all the 'losers' i knew. those people were some of the nicest people i know, and i can't believe nobody realises that.
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okay yeah i thought thats what it was, when you were telling me about that guy at camp and stuff.
most of the time i can see that they're nice people but sometimes it really depends ?
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well yeah, if they're not nice people then i don't feel guilty. but they ARE!
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xD hahahah i know i know
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