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gimpbeginner β trichotillomania
Published: 2010-10-30 04:52:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 215; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 1
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so i was too smart for my skin, and look what happenedβ - the words that once rioted like the jungle chorus, graceful, wide-winged ships to better worlds, βthey grew spikes and came back to attack me. just one, just one, that was all i needed, that Grecian suffix laughing like the lunatic it made me.they said that everything, everything is a cry for help, like if i am in a burning building and refuse to tell you there's a fire. by that logic my flesh is blacker than prejudice could concieve to be shocked by, and my hair really did burn away like i told them. tearing it out isn't a figure of speech anymore, so what language can we cry out in now?
i am clean, all right, i could piss in a cup and come away laughing. i cannot pump my blood full of doctors' orders and be safe, i am so fucked up i came clean out the other side of medicine
myfaultmyfaultmyfault.
it's october again, six years and counting.
happy fucking anniversary.
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Comments: 12
you know I love you honey. I also know its hard, but I am always here for you
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I understand but I don't. ]: I feel terrible however.
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NO I DO UNDERSTAND. i remember this ]: im sorry.
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Ahaha, that's fine. it was a long time ago.
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... I don't really know if there's anything I can say. I might wish these tectonic plates between us would wink out of existence so I could just grab you and give you a hug, but I have no idea if that would make you feel better or hurt you or do nothing at all. So, whatever's triggering it, or whatever it means, even if it doesn't mean anything in particular - just know we're all here, and we'll listen to whatever you want to say.
As Shadeh said so succinctly: :c
(URGH. MUST. PRAISE ANYWAY. Because whatever state of mind you're in, you smash and scatter the thoughts of your reader with the unhindered emotion in your writing - and that's half an incredible talent and half a curse, I guess.)
(Afternote: I want to favorite this, but I think I won't for once - somewhere, I feel selfish and I don't want to share it.)
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The fact that you're there makes it a lot better, really. And I'm really glad it worked out as a poem - I hate writing about things that are immediately emotional to me, because I'm never sure if I did it okay or not. I feel like I'm writing blind, if that makes sense.
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Yeah, it does - at least I think it does to me. And hey, glad I can make things just a bit brighter for you <3333
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=/
Sorry for the need to vent. Helps, though, right? Well...you can write a cryptic, pathos-wrenching piece very nicely. *clutches last line* Why do I love harsh endings like this so much?
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Hm... I don't actually know yet, to tell you the truth. But I definitely appreciate the support. And I'm glad it worked... I wasn't sure if it was going to, since (obviously) it's a pretty raw subject. And I'm also glad for the confirmation on the last line... I wasn't sure if it was too much or not.
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I always wondered... did you know?
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