HOME | DD
#death #deep #future #inevitability #memory #past #present #time #uncertainty
Published: 2018-01-27 15:30:56 +0000 UTC; Views: 1048; Favourites: 33; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }
Many ghosts lie within our heads,
But none of them want to lay to rest.
Eventually they will stop coming back
And finally just fade away to black.
Have you ever wondered when the present
Will become just another forgotten moment?
Have you ever wondered when we will be
Just another bittersweet memory?
We lie awake at night, trying not to dream,
Trying not to see anything we can believe.
We only want us and this to last forever,
Never to become just a night to remember.
Everything must eventually come to an end,
No matter how hard we try and pretend.
We all know that everything must eventually
Fall and fade away to just a distant memory.
Although we try to forever stay aflight,
Someday we will all lose the fight
And fall away with burning wax wings
Into Death’s arms, always awaiting.
While we forever worry about the future
And clutch to a past we can barely remember,
We all know that one day, someday, we
Will all fade to a forgotten memory…
Related content
Comments: 31
EvilScarrlett [2018-02-03 01:16:05 +0000 UTC]
Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
This is an epitome of fine writing. Yes, these things you wrote about have crossed my mind, the way you've filtered it beautifies its meaning.
This passage moved me very much:
‘We lie awake at night, trying not to dream,
Trying not to see anything we can believe.
We only want us and this to last forever,
Never to become just a night to remember.’
Nobody is here just to be forgotten; it is good that you realize this so early.
Also, this passage is my favorite:
‘Although we try to forever stay aflight,
Someday we will all lose the fight
And fall away with burning wax wings
Into Death’s arms, always awaiting.’
The flight and the image of the ‘burning wax wings’ is very symbolic. I enjoyed it.
All of the poem is very well thought out and written. I know this took a lot of work but it’s also very worthy!
You deserve recognition for this!! e.deviantart.net/emoticons/l/l… " width="26" height="17" alt="
" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="276" title="Love"/>
I am not good at these, but for me to try to do this, rest assured, I am impressed!!
Please continue the wonderful work! Sorry, I am so late to view. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s… " width="15" height="15" alt="
" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="391" title="
(Smile)"/>
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
GlaciesArdeat In reply to EvilScarrlett [2018-02-03 12:53:12 +0000 UTC]
Thanks for the great review, and by great I mean that you went into quite a lot of detail etc XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
xmanmonk [2018-01-29 14:51:49 +0000 UTC]
Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
Absolutely beautiful. Very insightful. Yes, it is dark in some ways, but that darkness rings true in everyone. The meter is very good as well, and it's easy to follow. However, it does cause pause to ponder in many places.
The "many ghosts" rings quite true to me, personally, and it helps the poem make an impact. Your vision into things often too deep to put into words is very good. This poem tackles ineffable subjects quite well.
The imagery is also very imaginative and vivid, especially the "burning wax wings."
Memories are elusive at times, and this work brings that home. Thanks so much for sharing!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ILovePUNdertale [2018-01-29 14:22:39 +0000 UTC]
Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
The imagery is monumentally vivid. The idea has been stated before, but this poem kind of goes further deeper into that idea. The rhyme scheme brings out the feeling in the lines.
This hits hard with anyone who has ever asked themselves when they'll just be a memory, and makes those who haven't ask themselves that start wondering. The fact that it's based mostly around memory emphasizes the theme.
Overall, this is very well written. It tells the truth that once a person's life is over, they are eventually forgotten in the pages of history books. Impactful and deep-thinking as usual, a.deviantart.net/avatars/z/e/z… " alt=" " title="ZeroSanity2713" />
e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b… " width="15" height="15" alt="
" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="366" title="
(Big Grin)"/>
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
GlaciesArdeat In reply to ILovePUNdertale [2018-01-29 14:29:02 +0000 UTC]
Thanks for the great critique (and I'm not just saying that because it was mostly positive, I love the detail you went into) XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ILovePUNdertale In reply to GlaciesArdeat [2018-01-29 14:30:53 +0000 UTC]
No problem! I love your profound writing
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
BlackBloodyRose56 In reply to GlaciesArdeat [2018-02-03 07:32:51 +0000 UTC]
.....Ahaha
You doudging my question?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
GlaciesArdeat In reply to BlackBloodyRose56 [2018-02-03 12:37:44 +0000 UTC]
No. I assumed you'd read the description and realise this poem wasn't supposed to be depressing
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
BlackBloodyRose56 In reply to GlaciesArdeat [2018-02-11 13:41:24 +0000 UTC]
Aha I finally found this! Yay ~ took me forever... I have way to many.
Nope didn't see DAT ^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
LonesomeBookworm [2018-02-01 21:57:12 +0000 UTC]
This is almost painfully relatable... But I still love it. I always tell myself that death is a natural thing and nothing to fear.
And I don't fear it... but what I really do fear is leaving this world unhappy, before I can get to do everything I want to do.
When death comes for me, I wanna be able to tell myself that I'm satisfied and ready... I fear the opposite so much
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
GlaciesArdeat In reply to LonesomeBookworm [2018-02-02 15:42:49 +0000 UTC]
Yeah same here, I've never been afraid of death, it's impossible to avoid, so why bother worrying too much about it, but I do agree that it just means that we should just try and make our lives worth living ahah
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
FloydPinkPinkerton [2018-02-01 17:05:12 +0000 UTC]
Wow.
This is just gorgeous, and it hit me hard too (in the good way haha!)
I love your writing; I'm sorry I haven't been active to read much recently.
;D
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
GlaciesArdeat In reply to FloydPinkPinkerton [2018-02-02 15:44:22 +0000 UTC]
Thanks
Thankyou ahah
It's ok, I'm just happy that you enjoy it when you do read it
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
cursors-and-ellipses [2018-01-28 00:04:32 +0000 UTC]
I love the deep view behind your poem. I didn't really find it depressing, just distant and pondering I suppose. I'm sorry, I'm not really making sense, but I love your poem. Life would not be life without death.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
GlaciesArdeat In reply to cursors-and-ellipses [2018-01-28 02:08:20 +0000 UTC]
Thanks ahah, it's good that you saw the meaning behind it (i was scared a lot of people would only see the superficial themes of death and the inevitability of time)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
cursors-and-ellipses In reply to GlaciesArdeat [2018-01-28 02:23:20 +0000 UTC]
I think maybe people will, but it will be their loss. So, it's fine.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
GlaciesArdeat In reply to cursors-and-ellipses [2018-01-29 00:42:53 +0000 UTC]
Yeah probably ahah
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Brightyflower [2018-01-27 21:25:50 +0000 UTC]
omg this is so profound :') ive written a similar one that i may post on here, the cocept of memory is one of my favorite to ponder
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
GlaciesArdeat In reply to Brightyflower [2018-01-28 02:07:17 +0000 UTC]
Thanks
Yeah, deep concepts like memory and time are great to write about
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
ILovePUNdertale In reply to xmanmonk [2018-01-29 14:28:18 +0000 UTC]
im imagining ur profile pic screaming that rEEEEE
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
xmanmonk In reply to ILovePUNdertale [2018-01-30 02:25:05 +0000 UTC]
Screaming like a girl...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
xmanmonk In reply to ILovePUNdertale [2018-01-31 00:38:36 +0000 UTC]
Just realized I might have given the impression that I meant someone else was screaming like a girl, but I actually meant me
👍: 0 ⏩: 1