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Goldenglare — Tears i shed
Published: 2008-08-14 21:11:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 229; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 2
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Description My tears tell a story,
none is joy at all.
My tears tell a story,
let me tell you as they fall.
The first is always pity,
for myself and my esteem.
The second is now the feeling,
looking for an escape it seems.
the third, and the fourth are sorrow,
getting harder as more fall.
The Fifth is now the hatred,
for me and that is all.
The sixth, and seventh start depression,
going down that deep, dark path.
My eighth, and ninth are almost there,
my suicidal wrath.
And the tenth...
Well the tenth is when i lose it all,
and break down in a ball.
The tears i shed tell a story
all going up to ten.
And then it seems i lay back down,
and start this over again.

-Luna-
Comments: 6

kaliegh514 [2018-04-29 12:23:03 +0000 UTC]

This is amazing!

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kaliegh514 [2018-04-26 12:40:00 +0000 UTC]

This is good

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kaliegh514 [2018-04-25 23:26:36 +0000 UTC]

Dear Gold,
I know you tried to make this really good and you did I know you put all the effort into making this and all your love because you love us to you care for everyone your such a nice person and I love this the tears I shed it's really good you made it so good I cried it really has alot of detail into it it really screams awesome because you are great at doing this I think you should make more of these

Sincerely,
Your friend Kaliegh

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kaliegh514 [2018-04-24 23:41:54 +0000 UTC]

This is really heart breaking it means alot to me this describes some of our life's don't be enbarressed be you just be kind and pass it on #choosekind

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i-hate-mushrooms [2008-12-20 19:27:32 +0000 UTC]

One issue with this; don't repeat words as much. Put some more variety into it.

Also, try not to repeat any last word of a line into another line; it disrupts the flow.

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Goldenglare In reply to i-hate-mushrooms [2008-12-28 18:26:41 +0000 UTC]

thank you for the advise.

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