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Description
I hate myself.
All day, every day.
Been like that forever.
Just the way it is.

"You should get help"
Are you not following along?
I did, and do, for what it's worth. It has never changed the facts.
I hate myself.
I convince myself daily of that, and then spend the day unwinding and unpacking it.

The darkness consumes me.
I am the darkness.
It is me.
We work together to overcome each other, like day and night, each one taking its place with each revolution.
Evolution.
And we grow.
I take a step forward, then two steps back.
Two steps forward, one more back.
I have definitely lost my way at this point.
I can turn anyone's day around.
I can change a life. Turn anything to GOLD. Give you anything and everything you ever or never wanted.
The magic is real. No denying.
I was chatting with a decent size group of denizens once and straight up asked them:

"If you had the power to change someone's life, turn things to 'gold' per se, but you could not gain ANYTHING from it other than the satisfaction or enjoyment of watching them flourish, would you still do it?"

The answer was a resounding "No".
It was not just a pronounced no, but it was an emphatically emphasized "Hell No."
That was when I really really grasped how bad the situation was.
Holy shit. No one wants to help anyone. As a matter of fact, they would rather watch them writhe in agony even IF they had the ability to help people with no real loss of their own.
Do you comprehend what happens when you do something as simple as say "Hi" with a smile?
You could actually change the world. Entirely.
But what it means is giving of yourself, effort equals intent. It is shocking how much people would rather spite each other even though they have the ability to make things better.

I hate myself.
All day, every day.
Because I just cannot get this right....
Openly not giving a shit about people.

I just cannot stop giving a shit.

I am a horrible person.......

Description
I hate myself.
All day, every day.
Been like that forever.
Just the way it is.

"You should get help"
Are you not following along?
I did, and do, for what it's worth. It has never changed the facts.
I hate myself.
I convince myself daily of that, and then spend the day unwinding and unpacking it.

The darkness consumes me.
I am the darkness.
It is me.
We work together to overcome each other, like day and night, each one taking its place with each revolution.
Evolution.
And we grow.
I take a step forward, then two steps back.
Two steps forward, one more back.
I have definitely lost my way at this point.
I can turn anyone's day around.
I can change a life. Turn anything to GOLD. Give you anything and everything you ever or never wanted.
The magic is real. No denying.
I was chatting with a decent size group of denizens once and straight up asked them:

"If you had the power to change someone's life, turn things to 'gold' per se, but you could not gain ANYTHING from it other than the satisfaction or enjoyment of watching them flourish, would you still do it?"

The answer was a resounding "No".
It was not just a pronounced no, but it was an emphatically emphasized "Hell No."
That was when I really really grasped how bad the situation was.
Holy shit. No one wants to help anyone. As a matter of fact, they would rather watch them writhe in agony even IF they had the ability to help people with no real loss of their own.
Do you comprehend what happens when you do something as simple as say "Hi" with a smile?
You could actually change the world. Entirely.
But what it means is giving of yourself, effort equals intent. It is shocking how much people would rather spite each other even though they have the ability to make things better.

I hate myself.
All day, every day.
Because I just cannot get this right....
Openly not giving a shit about people.

I just cannot stop giving a shit.

I am a horrible person.......