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by grapehyacinth

“SAMUEL, I WILL NOT HAVE THIS!”

There was a pause on the other end of the phone. “Carleton? How did you call me from a genie bottle?”

“If I can get cable in here, don't you think I can get cell service? Damn you, Wintergreen, and all you bastards to hell! How dare you allow this to happen to me?!”

“Hold on, Carleton! What happened?”

The wizard-turned-genie inhaled deeply, trying to get ahold of himself. Nothing would be accomplished if he merely screamed at the elder committee member. “That...Dave...”

“The first person you served?”

“Yes...person...He...made me a woman...” Carleton couldn't bear to go on. He was too ashamed. A great wizard like him, being taken advantage of... It made his blood boil just thinking about it... But the worst thing was, and he could barely admit it to himself, he had wanted it! He had enjoyed it more than anything in a while! It had awoken parts of him that he thought were long dead.

But he couldn't let anyone know this.

“When I get out of here, Samuel, I swear... I will turn that guy into a...a...dinghy and sail him through the polar ice caps!!”

Samuel coughed. “That's twenty-five years from now. A lot can happen before that.”

“Yes, he'll probably have drunk himself to death before then,” he muttered.

“Damn genie magic. He took advantage of you, huh?” Samuel chuckled. “I can't imagine anyone finding you that alluring. Was he drunk?”

If anyone else had said this, Carleton would have promised death threats. But Samuel was an old friend. “Yes, he was very drunk, and I was...well, quite a looker as that 'I Dream of Jeannie' woman. But that hair, and the clothes...” He looked down at the same gravy-stained undershirt that he always wore. “I missed my undershirt something terrible.”

“Carleton, I'm very sorry that happened to you. You didn't deserve that in the least, and I'll speak to the others about it. Perhaps we can reduce your sentence.”

“No! You can't tell anyone!” he gasped. “Especially Wintergreen.”

Samuel sighed. “Where are you, Carl?”

It was Carleton's turn to sigh. “After Dave, I somehow ended up floating on the ocean and washing up on a beach. Just like that damned 'Jeannie' show. Hopefully I'm finished with that now. Meanwhile I'm stuck buried in the sand here, listening to two homeless drunk guys complaining on a bench. I actually want someone to find me already!” His voice grew vulnerable. “Samuel, can you do anything to keep what happened to me...from happening again?”

“Well, Wintergreen might. He's an expert on genie magic.”

“Not Wintergreen.”

“I'll look into it. Good luck, Carl.”

“Thanks. I'll need it.”

How many days had he been on this beach? Didn't anyone see the top of his bottle sticking out of the sand? It was blue, for goodness sake! He hoped that one of these drunks would find him, because they really could use his help. As angry as he was, his heart went out to them, for their lives had been ruined through no real fault of their own. The first man, named Ralph, had such big dreams, and he had striven for them, yet was always being being beaten down. “I wanted to be big, larger than life, and imposing,” he had told his friend one day in a more sober moment. “I wanted to be a tower of strength, to live on forever...” But, as Carleton soon learned, Ralph had been involved in two scams which emptied his pockets not once but twice. Then his wife left him. He lost his house, no one would hire him... The list went on, and the man had become a sad shell of what he once was.

It was easy to pull all of this from the man's brain, and Carleton had nothing better to do. The other man, Jake, was a bit younger. He was a former runner, tapped for the Olympics, when the unspeakable happened. An injury so severe left little feeling in his left leg, and he could only walk with a brace. With that, he dropped out of life in general. “All I want to do is run again,” he had uttered hopelessly.

“Damn, pick up the freaking genie bottle in front of you and wish!” Carleton whispered. “I could help you! I won't even mess up your wish!”

“A genie lamp! I'll rub it!” cried a female's voice.

“What the hell?” Carleton fell backwards as his bottle was lifted from the dirt.

It was a young girl.

“Damn it to hell! A kid!” he hissed. The genie rules were much more stringent for children under eighteen. You couldn't pull any fast ones on them, and you had to guide them into a safe, proper wish. No turning their friends into marbles, no ideas that would end in death or injury, no violence...

“Oh, God, no.” He quickly changed his clothes into a royal-blue silk shirt and pants. He refused to ever wear a traditional genie outfit again – whether he was male...or female.

“It's real!” she squeaked, as Carleton materialized from the blue mist.

She was a cute kid, maybe fifteen or so, and she was clapping in delight. A plastic grocery bag was slung over her arm, which rocked back and forth. “Hi! I'm Melissa, but you can call me Mitzy!” she exclaimed.

Carleton smiled despite himself. This girl would get the full show. How could he not? “I am Carleton, genie of the lamp, at your service, Master.” He bowed politely.

She stepped in front of him. “Oh, you're so handsome!”

Oh, he loved this girl already. She didn't even care about his beer-belly...well, he had made it less noticeable in the silk shirt...

He bowed yet again. “Why thank you, Miss. Now, you get three wishes. Please consider them carefully.”

The girl looked over to the drunks, who didn't seem too surprised by their new visitor. “Hey, Ralph, Jake! I have food for you guys, but look at this guy! He's a genie!”

“Be careful with that guy. You don't know where he came from,” uttered Ralph.

“What you got for us today, kid? How's school?” asked Jake.

“Hang on, genie, okay? I try to bring Jake and Ralph stuff when I can. I haven't been here for a bit.” She walked over and handed them the bag, and the two began to pull out snacks and drinks from inside.

Carleton was touched by the girl's generosity. “Just don't bring them any alcohol,” he said under his breath.

“School's good. Let me go talk to the genie.”

“Okay.”

Mitzy traipsed back across the stand to where Carleton stood. “I want to help those guys,” she said.

“Well, you could, but the better idea is to let them have me after you're done with your wishes. Although,” Carleton lowered his voice, “maybe not. I've had some bad experiences with drunks.”

“Well...could I wish something for me that would help them too?”

“I don't know. What do you wish?”

“Well,” she thought for a moment. “I want a castle.”

“A castle?”

How could a castle help these guys? Maybe they could serve as guards? And a castle just popping up on the beach would mess with a lot of peoples' minds. He would have to create some kind of spell so people would think it was always there.

Then an idea hit him.

“Ralph, you want to be big, larger than life, a tower of strength, and imposing?”

Ralph looked up from a bag of Cheetos. “Yes?”

“How would you like to be a castle for this young lady?”

He straightened to his full height. “I'd do anything for this girl.”

“You would?” cried Mitzy. “How amazing would that be, to be a beautiful castle...”

Carleton raised his eyebrows, trying to ascertain whether Ralph was sober enough to make this decision. He found that, surprisingly, both men had not had any alcohol all day.

Jake stood up, slightly skeptical. “You can seriously turn a person into a building? Come on.”

Mitzy glared at him. “You saw him poof out of a bottle in a puff of blue smoke. What do you think?”

Kids. They were so innocent and accepting. He loved that. He hoped he could make her happy.

But Ralph stood up, beginning to pace. His face was shining. “You really could do that? Make me the most amazing castle, that people would come to see for miles?”

Carleton gulped. “I think I can manage that.”

“And I'd still be aware? Like, I'd know I'm a castle, and I could see and feel everything going on?”

“Sure. You'd still be you, but your body would be...well, a building instead of flesh and blood.”

Ralph was silent, staring off at a wooded area above the beach.

“If you ever want to turn back, you simply call my name and I'll appear. This doesn't have to be permanent.”

“I'd live forever, and everyone would love me...Mitzy, you could live in me!”

Mitzy clapped her hands. “Of course! I'd take care of you, and keep you clean...”

“I'd keep you sheltered and warm!”

Jake watched quietly. Carleton was beginning to think he was getting jealous.

“Oh please, Mr. Genie Carleton, turn him into a magnificent castle! It won't hurt him, right?”

“Not unless I wanted it to,” Carleton said with a slight frown. “Don't worry. I'll make it quite enjoyable. Now let' s find the perfect spot for you, Ralph. After all, you'll be here for a while!”

But Ralph was already racing up the dunes to the empty area he'd been regarding. “Here's the perfect spot! I could look out on the water, and the trees, too, and I can be huge!”

“Say the word, Mitzy.”

“I wish Ralph was a castle!!”

“One castle, coming up!”

Carleton always enjoyed the expression of pleasured surprise on a person's first transformation. It was never quite caught again in subsequent transformations, as the subject then knew what to expect. But everyone remembered their first time vividly, and, thanks to the way the genie magic worked, he was able to start the change and then sit back and watch. Had he done this with his own abilities, he would have had to focus and guide the subject's form through the whole metamorphosis.

But that look! And Ralph was not one to disappoint. His face lit up at the first touch of Carleton's magic, and as it began to lap at his form, the man began to tremble with excitement.

“I'm going to be amazing! This is going to be amazing! Hey – I'm growing!”

And indeed he was. Mitzy clapped her hands gleefully as Ralph grew to a dizzying height, all the while thickening in girth. His legs were soon lost as they joined together, and his form started to resemble a rectangle.

“Throw up those arms! Those will become your towers!” Carleton cried, appreciating the show.

Ralph raised them as he was told, but it seemed like it was becoming a chore for him to move at all. His skin had taken on an chalk-like opacity and he grunted as it began to harden. “How big...am I going to be?” he pushed out of his now-giant mouth.

“Oh, big enough to house a queen!” Carleton cried, gazing at Mitzy.

She giggled as she watched her friend's outstretched arms thicken into towers, each finger growing into parapets adorning the top. Windows began to sprout every few feet, and large double wooden-like doors formed near the new building's front.

“I could give you a moat,” Carleton offered. “But you're right by the beach, so it might not work. Let's forget that.”

“Ralph, you're really turning into a building!” Mitzy gasped, skirting his foundation in amazement. “You have corners, you're not human-shaped! I mean, you don't even have a head or body anymore! But you still have a really big face – it's so funny!”

The ground buckled from the changing man's increasing mass.

“Is it fun, Ralph?”

The building made several more pleasured groans as it solidified into perfect stone. “It's...wonderful!... I'm...finally...becoming...something worthwhile!!” Ralph's face grew still and dissolved away into a splendid marble facade.

One last sigh of happiness echoed through the building, and the new castle was ready to serve.

Jake, Mitzy, and Carleton stood back on the beach, gazing at Ralph from afar. He lorded proudly over the dunes, sparkling in the sun.

“My...God...” stuttered Jake. “The whole thing...this is incredible.”

Carleton made a silly bow. “Well, thank you, my friend. That's more of the reaction I'd like to get from people.”

“Is he happy?” Mitzy squeaked.

“I'd say. Did you see how much he enjoyed that?”

“Well, now is he happy?”

“He's in this state of absolute bliss right now. It's what most people experience when they're first transformed. He's reveling in his new form, just...well, experiencing. He feels amazing, and strong, and...invincible.”

“You sound like you've been a few castles in your time too?” Jake chortled.

“Oh,” Carleton snickered, “I've been far more than that.”

Silence returned as they regarded the far-off structure. Carleton could feel Ralph's supreme happiness radiating towards him, and he grinned to himself. At least someone was content.

“I'm so...jealous of him.”

Carleton drew towards Jake, truly fascinated. “Jealous? Why?”

“We thought we'd simply end up dying on that bench, two nameless drunks. You know, every time I tried to go back and fix my life, it would only get worse. Now Ralph, he's...well he's forever! I mean, he'll be there long after most of us are forgotten.”

“You want to live forever?”

“Well, no. I don't think I do. But I want to be free. Just...free...”

Carleton looked to Mitzy. “Well, it's her wishes. But Mitzy, what is it that you want? Search your mind, and think. What do you want most in the world?”

The girl seemed to comb her thoughts, and Carleton realized it must be tough for a teen to push past the silly wishes of childhood. But her face lit up with realization, and he could only hope her request would be a good one.

“I want a pony.”

Jake's face burst into such a look of joy that Carleton could only smile.

The word “please” fell from Jake's lips, but no sound issued forth.

“You'll be a splendid one,” Carleton said. He waved his arms theatrically towards Jake, who began to shiver with exhilaration just as his friend had.

“One pony, coming up.”

Jake transformed with such happiness that Carleton himself was nearly jealous. “Nothing like the first time,” he commented, his eyes on the changing man.

As his muscles bulked up and a midnight-black coat sprouted from Jake's skin, he whispered, “thank you,” as he watched his body shift. As his hands and feet solidified into hooves, he gasped out, “Oh, there I go!” as he was thrown to all fours.

“He's getting a tail!” Mitzy cried in delight.

“And here comes his mane,” Carleton said, trying not to appear too excited. Even though he was admittedly having a good time.

“Oh, his face! It's...getting so different! Oh, Jake! I can't believe you're going to be a pony!”

Jake tried to respond, but his face and mouth had become so equine that he could no longer form words. Instead, he nodded his head up and down vigorously.

“He's getting so big,” Mitzy murmured. “And it looks like so much fun!”

The horse nodded again, whinnying in pleasure.

“Oh, it is,” Carleton agreed. “Transforming is a wonderful sensation. And then, after, well the feeling of just...being something else... You've given your friends a wonderful gift, Mitzy.”

Jake reared up on his hind legs then, giving a grateful whinny.

“He's finished!” Carleton exclaimed. “And he's quite a specimen, if I don't say so myself.”

Jake danced proudly around on his new legs, almost as if showing himself off.

Mitzy was clapping once again. “Oh, Jake! You are so beautiful! You have no idea!”

“Well, we can fix that,” Carleton said, making a large mirror appear before the horse.

Jake studied his reflection, bowed to them, and then ran off.

“Hey, where's he going? Wait, Jake!”

“He's coming right back. He just wants to practice running.”

“He told you that?”

“Yes. I can hear him in his mind. I can hear Ralph too, only he's so wrapped up in his new form that he's not really thinking right now.”

Mitzy looked down. “Well, how can I talk to them?”

Carleton turned away. Was it acceptable to allow her the ability to communicate telepathically with her transformed friends? Hell, who was going to stop him? She was practically a child, and they would be her protectors.

He did not turn to face her. His eyes were on the waves, lapping hypnotically against the sand. “Yes. I'll allow you to communicate with them just like I can.”

She digested this a moment.

“They're really happy, aren't they?”

“You have no idea. You've given them something that has lifted their very souls.”

She was quiet for a moment.

“Don't tell me you're jealous of them too,” Carleton sniggered. “You have a great life ahead of you. You're young, you can do anything.”

“Oh, I know, I know.”

“Now, what's your last wish?”

Mitzy stared at the hill where majestic Ralph guarded the dunes. Then she looked off to where Jake had disappeared. Carleton hoped she would choose wisely, but from the corner of his eye, he could see a longing look on her face. And it worried him.

“Turn me into an ice cream sundae.”

“WHAT?” Carleton twisted around, wondering if he had heard her right. “A what?”

“An ice cream sundae.”

“But... why?”

“It looks like so much fun to turn into something!”

“But...you'll melt, and...” If she had been an adult, and a stupid one at that, he was within his rights to grant the wish, no matter how idiotic or destructive. But she was an innocent, and he was expected to provide guidance...

“You... really want that? I mean, of all the things you can ask for...”

She looked hurt. “What? You can't do it?”

“Well.. I can, but...” He was flabbergasted. “At least ask for a time limit. Think about it...You'll melt, then get moldy, then...well...”

“Fine, fine. How about a day?”

He shrugged, shaking his head. “If that's what you want...” He wasn't sure of exactly what she was expecting to do in this form, but at least she wasn't going to be one forever...

He placed his hands on her shoulders. “You're an ice cream sundae.”

“Oo!” she gasped as the magic flowed through her. “It's...tickly!”

Smiling, Carleton stood back to watch. “Enjoy.”

Mitzy's look of pure, unencumbered joy struck Carleton deeply. For a moment, he regretted his misdeeds that resulted in his sentence of twenty-five years as a genie. How had he put those parents through all that horror when they'd found their children had been transformed? Thank God Lance Wintergreen had erased it all from ever happening...

But Mitzy's happiness now made it all seem worthwhile. Her body buckled as her legs melded together, and she started to giggle uncontrollably. “Look at me! Now I have one leg!” she cried.

“Well, that's now your base. See, your feet are growing into your bottom...”

“So I'll be ice cream and the sundae cup? Oh, my arms are getting pushed up and twisty...”

“Well, you didn't just ask to be a scoop of ice cream!”

“I love this! I feel so good! Oh! My arms are curling so much!”

“They're turning into handles. See, they're getting shiny and silver?”

“I'm...like...my hips are flaring out into... Oh, I feel so good and soft on the top, but I'm...oh, like...stiffening on the bottom...”

Carleton guffawed. Only a child would describe it this way, but hardening into metal was quite a pleasant experience, and he was making sure it was very much so for her. Of course, softening was just as delightful, so she was getting the best of both worlds.

“I'm shrinking! Wee!”

As she shrank down past Carleton's knees, what was her head and torso actually appeared to melt and round out. Mitzy's eyes first bulged in surprise and then shut tightly in bliss as the genie magic converted her top half to several scoops of pink ice cream. “Brr...I'm getting so cold!” the nearly-complete sundae shook in its cup. It smoothed into three perfect scoops, and what once had been Mitzy's dark hair now oozed over her as hot fudge.

The ice cream gave one more contented shudder and grew still.

Carleton studied her for a time. He could feel her elation quite strongly, and he did not want to interrupt her reveling in her new form.

After a time, he saw the sundae shudder once more, and he cleared his throat. “Mitzy, how do you feel?”

It took a moment for her to respond. Wonderful, he heard in his head. Absolutely wonderful. Thank you so much. I'm perfect.

“Yes, you are, but you're starting to melt. Just a bit.”

I can't wait. I love what I am. I'm being such a good sundae. I'm tasty and delightful...

But something was bothering him that he couldn't put his finger on. “There's something not quite...”

Mmm. I feel so nice like this...

“When you change back, I'll have Ralph the Castle all set up for you. He'll be your home, and he'll take care of you...I'll take care of all the logistics. There will be a comfortable stable for Jake...”

Thank you, but I'm busy being an ice cream sundae right now.

He regarded the perfect dessert glistening in the sun. What was it that was bothering him?

“Oh!” he exclaimed in realization. He reached towards her, and, with a snap, a perfect candied cherry appeared on top of the sundae.

“Now you're perfect, Mitzy!” he proclaimed, his finger brushing her surface. He licked the sweetness off, nodding in approval.

Thanks. I needed that, the sundae's words of thanks echoed in his brain as he was sucked back into his bottle.