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Description
(Note: i am lily)
saw this kind of meme floating around tumblr and did one myself. itll seem kind of strange since i dont post about my personal life here!

copy/paste from my tumblr post:

5th grade- literally did not give a shit here. okay, well i tried my freakin BEST not to be labeled as ‘girly’ and i did well. me n my best friend to this day jas fuckin rocked the playground with our larping, i pretty much bought everything with a yugioh logo on it. also i had hardly no friends but thats ok cuz all i needed was my bff

8th grade- really annoyingly energetic. And kind of stupid. I had my first actual crush at this age, and it went on for years and was an absolute pain in the ass. i was slowly realizing stuff about the world i had really never thought about before, and paved the way for my ‘shelled in’ period.

10th grade- was in a constant state of ‘depression’ that i didnt really show on the outside. also entered a perpetual state of ‘i dont care.’ had a lot of mental turmoil at the time, mostly because i realized how inexperienced and stupid i was but couldn’t stop being inexperienced and stupid. i toned down my hyperactivity and constantly tried to convince myself i was no one special, because thinking that you’re special is looked down upon. that one fellow i once liked kept coming back to manipulate my feelings, and it wasnt really a peachy time. i was completely dissatisfied with my appearance, but made no attempt to change it in fear people would accuse me of wanting to stand out. my grades also suffered because i didnt feel well. at this point in time, i was pretty much existing without much reason.

End of 12th grade/Freshman year of college (now)- Somewhere between 10th grade and the middle of my senior year, i broke. total mental breakdown. after i recovered from it almost half a year later, i realized how petty my worries were and just went with what i wanted to do. i stopped caring what people thought of me and stared wearing things i wanted to wear. i gained a lot more confidence in myself after i let go of the idea of public judgement, and my attitude changed as a whole. after graduating high school, i realized that half my problems were that high school fucking sucked and upon entering college my mood and disposition improved greatly. i forced myself to meet some really awesome people and found a place where i felt like i belonged. the sudden freedom and independence is exciting, and the fact that im the only one taking the consequence if i screw up is also relieving (half my worry was disappointing people.) I also realized that no, i am in fact not special at all. I have to work to make myself stand out. so that’s also what im trying to do. i also have my 2nd crush, on one of my best friends, who knows it and likes me but just wants to chill as friends cuz thats what we really are. so, things are pretty good.

Description
(Note: i am lily)
saw this kind of meme floating around tumblr and did one myself. itll seem kind of strange since i dont post about my personal life here!

copy/paste from my tumblr post:

5th grade- literally did not give a shit here. okay, well i tried my freakin BEST not to be labeled as ‘girly’ and i did well. me n my best friend to this day jas fuckin rocked the playground with our larping, i pretty much bought everything with a yugioh logo on it. also i had hardly no friends but thats ok cuz all i needed was my bff

8th grade- really annoyingly energetic. And kind of stupid. I had my first actual crush at this age, and it went on for years and was an absolute pain in the ass. i was slowly realizing stuff about the world i had really never thought about before, and paved the way for my ‘shelled in’ period.

10th grade- was in a constant state of ‘depression’ that i didnt really show on the outside. also entered a perpetual state of ‘i dont care.’ had a lot of mental turmoil at the time, mostly because i realized how inexperienced and stupid i was but couldn’t stop being inexperienced and stupid. i toned down my hyperactivity and constantly tried to convince myself i was no one special, because thinking that you’re special is looked down upon. that one fellow i once liked kept coming back to manipulate my feelings, and it wasnt really a peachy time. i was completely dissatisfied with my appearance, but made no attempt to change it in fear people would accuse me of wanting to stand out. my grades also suffered because i didnt feel well. at this point in time, i was pretty much existing without much reason.

End of 12th grade/Freshman year of college (now)- Somewhere between 10th grade and the middle of my senior year, i broke. total mental breakdown. after i recovered from it almost half a year later, i realized how petty my worries were and just went with what i wanted to do. i stopped caring what people thought of me and stared wearing things i wanted to wear. i gained a lot more confidence in myself after i let go of the idea of public judgement, and my attitude changed as a whole. after graduating high school, i realized that half my problems were that high school fucking sucked and upon entering college my mood and disposition improved greatly. i forced myself to meet some really awesome people and found a place where i felt like i belonged. the sudden freedom and independence is exciting, and the fact that im the only one taking the consequence if i screw up is also relieving (half my worry was disappointing people.) I also realized that no, i am in fact not special at all. I have to work to make myself stand out. so that’s also what im trying to do. i also have my 2nd crush, on one of my best friends, who knows it and likes me but just wants to chill as friends cuz thats what we really are. so, things are pretty good.