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Description
Probably move this to scraps later, an emotional drawing for an emotional time for me.

It's been 10 months since Cammy's passing and yet it still feels as raw as if it happened yesterday.

I was recently told that I needed to move on, that I needed to let go of Cammy.

I tell you I can't, I'm not ready.

This mare was my life, she made me who I am as a rider and without her I feel lost. My life took a spiraled nose-dive after I lost her. Everything I had grown to know, dissipated. I find it difficult to see the good in things and often linger on the negative... Quite frequently in all honesty.

Unlike some I never had the fortune of hearing her neigh after she was gone, I heard stories of people who have lost their horses. Who have "seen" them in the pasture, in their favorite spots, or even heard them nicker and neigh. I don't have such luck. I realize a majority of it is mind-over-matter but I've never loved anything so much in my entire life.

I truly miss her everyday and I have a constant reminder of her in my back pasture. Not because that's where her final resting place was, but because I purchased a gelding who looked very much like her. While they have completely different personalities and even though they both were black with stars, I don't see Cammy in him.

I sometimes feel what I think is her. What things used to be when she was around. But I miss her and a day doesn't go by that I don't say I want her back. That she left far too early. Unfortunately it is not as simple as wanting her. I don't believe in the "Rainbow Bridge" that many animal lovers believe in.

Rest in Peace My Little Black Mare.

Description
Probably move this to scraps later, an emotional drawing for an emotional time for me.

It's been 10 months since Cammy's passing and yet it still feels as raw as if it happened yesterday.

I was recently told that I needed to move on, that I needed to let go of Cammy.

I tell you I can't, I'm not ready.

This mare was my life, she made me who I am as a rider and without her I feel lost. My life took a spiraled nose-dive after I lost her. Everything I had grown to know, dissipated. I find it difficult to see the good in things and often linger on the negative... Quite frequently in all honesty.

Unlike some I never had the fortune of hearing her neigh after she was gone, I heard stories of people who have lost their horses. Who have "seen" them in the pasture, in their favorite spots, or even heard them nicker and neigh. I don't have such luck. I realize a majority of it is mind-over-matter but I've never loved anything so much in my entire life.

I truly miss her everyday and I have a constant reminder of her in my back pasture. Not because that's where her final resting place was, but because I purchased a gelding who looked very much like her. While they have completely different personalities and even though they both were black with stars, I don't see Cammy in him.

I sometimes feel what I think is her. What things used to be when she was around. But I miss her and a day doesn't go by that I don't say I want her back. That she left far too early. Unfortunately it is not as simple as wanting her. I don't believe in the "Rainbow Bridge" that many animal lovers believe in.

Rest in Peace My Little Black Mare.