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Description
... I love friendship...~

... But sometimes that zone can be.. painful..

.. Especially when you watch that friend you love... Fall head over heels for someone else...

.. Or when they think your feelings are just a joke...

.. Cause I'm not capable of conveying emotions and behavior properly in a crowd of people...

.. All I can do is be a goof and smile widely to hide my shyness and insecurities...

.. It hurts... so much... everyday...

... And yet I still manage to smile and love her no matter what...~

... And support her in any way I can...~

... Their smile makes my day...~

... I love you...~

... And it hurts...

... Maybe one day, I can numb these feelings....

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

... The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals... Another cure.. Is when the love is requited...

I decided to express my feelings for someone in this.. I love the concept of the Hanahaki Disease and it really kinda is a good metaphor for how one sided love feels... It felt good to finally to get these feelings out of my chest in a way that felt more sincere.. It gives me a little closure.. Everytime I hug her... Everytime I spend time with her... Everytime I gave her a gift to show how important she is to me... It never felt like enough.. It felt like I wasn't doing enough to make her happy or show her properly that I care... But then again.. I'm just an awkward perverted goof with no chill in public... Its become part of my nature permanently as a method of avoiding awkward silence or my shy moments.. I hate it.. But I can't stop... I know it scares and annoys everyone.. I've absorbed every outgoing persons method of socializing and turned into a mess.. And everytime I return home, I break down thinking about every single mistake I've made throughout the day, especially socially.. I worry that I'll drive her away... I know she'll never requite my feelings... She loves someone else.. And she's not into girls... But I want to at least enjoy our close friendship for as long as I can..~

Description
... I love friendship...~

... But sometimes that zone can be.. painful..

.. Especially when you watch that friend you love... Fall head over heels for someone else...

.. Or when they think your feelings are just a joke...

.. Cause I'm not capable of conveying emotions and behavior properly in a crowd of people...

.. All I can do is be a goof and smile widely to hide my shyness and insecurities...

.. It hurts... so much... everyday...

... And yet I still manage to smile and love her no matter what...~

... And support her in any way I can...~

... Their smile makes my day...~

... I love you...~

... And it hurts...

... Maybe one day, I can numb these feelings....

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

... The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals... Another cure.. Is when the love is requited...

I decided to express my feelings for someone in this.. I love the concept of the Hanahaki Disease and it really kinda is a good metaphor for how one sided love feels... It felt good to finally to get these feelings out of my chest in a way that felt more sincere.. It gives me a little closure.. Everytime I hug her... Everytime I spend time with her... Everytime I gave her a gift to show how important she is to me... It never felt like enough.. It felt like I wasn't doing enough to make her happy or show her properly that I care... But then again.. I'm just an awkward perverted goof with no chill in public... Its become part of my nature permanently as a method of avoiding awkward silence or my shy moments.. I hate it.. But I can't stop... I know it scares and annoys everyone.. I've absorbed every outgoing persons method of socializing and turned into a mess.. And everytime I return home, I break down thinking about every single mistake I've made throughout the day, especially socially.. I worry that I'll drive her away... I know she'll never requite my feelings... She loves someone else.. And she's not into girls... But I want to at least enjoy our close friendship for as long as I can..~