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hellishfluff β Clearly Life
Published: 2004-07-17 22:40:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 138; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 3
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Description
Make the pain go away,I want to see a brighter day.
Drive the pain away from me,
So it will come again as you flee.
For today capture the sun, take control
And let the rays bind my soul.
Attract me to love and life,
Instead of this pain and strife.
You say hurt is my destiny,
But you don't know me!
Give me words and I scream and cry,
I don't care if you must lie-
Say for me you would die.
I suffer for you...
This is something once true.
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Comments: 11
Well, I guess most of us can relate to this, but I hate how everybody (including me!) write all again the used ideas (and things that have grown to clichΓ©s...). However, it's at least above average. I'm not really good to rate poems, and this is only my opinion. ;___;
I liked a lot these lines: "Give me words and I scream and cry,
I don't care if you must lie-
Say for me you would die."
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Well...I know to a lot of people this WILL seem clichΓ© and...unoriginal or maybe even dull. But I wrote it for me, and still wanting other people to get something out of it. Because this, is something that I have LIVED. And overcame. Its personal for me...not a "used idea" at all.
Of course, as always, your opinion is completely welcome as well as appreciated and..thank you.
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I did not accuse you straightly about the clichΓ©, because most of us have lived trough _that_.
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I didn't feel like you were accusing me at all!! Aww, I liked your comment, it was constructive. 
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Attract me to love and life,Instead of this pain and strife and the lines I suffer for you...This is something once true
i love those lines.
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YAY someone likes it!! ^^ Haha yah...I am a genuis I know. *gasp* You spelled my name right! *squeak*
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I think this is so cool! I interpreted how I was exactly feelin at the minute!!
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Heh, aww that's good. Thanks!
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