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hellostrangeone — Before the Wound
Published: 2010-04-28 21:41:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 304; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 5
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Description I can feel the seams
tearing open again
pouring out cotton,
intestines and gin

I'm watching it go
falling right into your hands,
just another jaded bitch
mixing in your glands

never let yourself become
the other part of another
for the unconditional is
a way we have yet to discover

but I can still see my insides
getting caked into your floor
and I'll take it back now
not after- before

before my gut sinks into the earth
and sets tectonic plates turning

before I sear the world in ash
from a heart that's still burning

before you get the nerve to
tell me this time it's real

before you take it back;
there's no meaning left to steal

it's time to run straight up
into the center of the sun
where my seams can bake until
I'm a rubber weapon of a gun

run now, before those words
have time to connect my conscience
and make me feel safe before the
guards of an armed fence

I feel like a bitter soul
who somehow doesn't give a damn
too stubborn to realize how
truly stubborn I am

so I'll make my stitches burn
until there's nothing left of me to see
someday my blood will be invisible
and finally
you'll
be
free
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Comments: 11

Tricker101 [2010-09-27 23:05:44 +0000 UTC]

I really like the imagery you portray in your words, both with the rhyme and just the flow in general . What is it at the end when you say, "you'll finally be free....." Whom are you talking about? if i may ask that.

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hellostrangeone In reply to Tricker101 [2010-09-28 16:39:01 +0000 UTC]

I suppose it's open for you to think about and interpret!

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BTDubbs [2010-05-02 16:44:34 +0000 UTC]

My favorite stanza:
"I feel like a bitter soul
who somehow doesn't give a damn
too stubborn to realize how
truly stubborn I am"

This really gives the feel of spoken word. Good job!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

hellostrangeone In reply to BTDubbs [2010-05-02 16:58:58 +0000 UTC]

thank you!!

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BTDubbs In reply to hellostrangeone [2010-05-02 17:54:30 +0000 UTC]

You are welcome!

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viciouskitty [2010-04-29 19:08:00 +0000 UTC]

I completely agree with Pathos. Ally, I believe this is my favorite thing by you that I have read.

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hellostrangeone In reply to viciouskitty [2010-04-29 19:12:38 +0000 UTC]

wow! thanks

i'm very glad you like it!

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Pathos1987 [2010-04-29 00:16:48 +0000 UTC]

well, the extra time spent really shows, to say the least. there isn't a moment of relief in this; I felt constantly on edge from the narrative angst and surreal depictions. I especially enjoyed the initial juxtaposition of cotton spilling with intestines.

the four "before" stanzas floored me, too. the imagery they elicit is something I haven't experienced in ages!

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hellostrangeone In reply to Pathos1987 [2010-04-29 00:20:18 +0000 UTC]

your comments always boost me up

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Pathos1987 In reply to hellostrangeone [2010-04-29 00:45:12 +0000 UTC]

likewise! it's always a pleasure to read your work

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hellostrangeone In reply to Pathos1987 [2010-04-29 01:37:42 +0000 UTC]

yay! I really appreciate the thoughtful feedback.

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