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Published: 2001-04-24 04:58:08 +0000 UTC; Views: 412; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 186
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I wanted to make a poem that was extrmely sensual, while totally innocent and appropriate. I hope Ive done it. please comment, and let me know.Nate
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Comments: 6
jsenn [2002-05-03 03:50:34 +0000 UTC]
What a lovely poem, so sweet, so tender, so true of love's first kiss. You did a beautiful job, Nate.
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J y
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devolution [2001-04-26 05:38:09 +0000 UTC]
omg, that was awesome. I'm so glad to have looked at this.
Great job for capturing the realism in this.
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longtooth [2001-04-24 15:29:03 +0000 UTC]
Very well written, the only snag that gets me is the cliche part in the 3rd to last paragraph. Never been a big fan of using cliches and quotes in poetry although i've probably done it myself.
But other than that it's very lyrical and it probably could be set to music pretty easily.
http://www.longtooth.com
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babyraven [2001-04-24 15:26:47 +0000 UTC]
Awww, that's sweet.
I think I was innocent once... Heh.
--babs!
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