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Hlaorith — So Much More
Published: 2017-08-17 14:43:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 2327; Favourites: 97; Downloads: 0
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Description
I'm over it. Have a crabby Muse. I don't draw her enough. I love her so much.But it reminded me of some things I need to remember.
I never say anything publicly because I remind myself how unprofessional it looks to display your personal feelings on your page. But hey, screw it. I'm not a professional!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2-wk0…
I work a shitty job. Why? Because that shitty job pays well and keeps my life secure so that artwork can stay my hobby. So that when someone treats me like shit in the art world I CAN tell them how I feel. I don't care if you never commission/work with me again. Honestly, please don't interact with me again. Take a shit on my name. I don't care. I'm in this place for me first and foremost, and if I have to strangle myself with the mistreatment of my peers, then I don't want to be here.
I'm not an admin to any groups anymore. I'm not setting any examples. If I scar you away from a community bc I spoke up, then go right ahead and leave. Do whatever mental gymnastics you need to to make yourself feel like you're in the right. I'm not some door greeter and I wont be stepped on.
If that bothers you, please see yourself out. I always freeze up in conflicts. It's a habit. I don't like to make waves and I hate upsetting people. I don't need to be a people-pleaser anymore. I need to remember that.
I'm at a point in my life where I need my free time to be mine. I need the people in my life to be genuine.
--
And as a side note--I appreciate so much everyone that's reached out to me. Please don't feel like you're responsible for how I'm feeling. Most people I know around here are wonderful and I adore you.
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Comments: 14
<3 Totally get where you're coming from, it sucks that some people just want to suck the joy out of everything that one finds enjoyable. Constantly.
I'm in a similar spot, in that I want to keep art as a hobby, and the job I have completely sucks and I hate every minute (Don't get me started on the anxiety it causes lOL) but cause it pays well, I have to kinda stick with it.
Then you come to draw and chill out and then you have morons on here that think the own the damn site or whatever. Really aggravating really.
I'm sorry you're going through this, every interaction I've seen from you has been nice and kind and I've never seen you say a bad word against anyone, but there are some people that just loove pushing buttons. Hope it gets better for you soon! <3
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you're honestly one of the sweetest and most talented people i've met on deviantart, hlao -- you
certainly deserve to feel safe and at peace doing things you enjoy. nobody has the right to take that away from you. :c
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Am genuine bluebirb, tweet twonk. Will bite all who oppose you!
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[Wow fuck mobil DA holy shit]
I'm not going to pretend I know the full details of what's going on here because I'm only recently getting back into using DA, so I apologize for that. I will say that you seem to have had a problem similar to the one that drove me off DA in the first place. I won't deny, I'm a salty person and I'm still bitter about what was done to me, but what I've concluded ultimately is that I'm just a better person than the one who set out to hurt me in every single way. I've never intentionally attacked someone's art because I don't like them regardless of quality, I've never set out to hurt someone who did nothing to hurt me, and I've never attacked people that were close to someone I don't like because I wanted to get even with someone else. These are all qualities that are in general opinion considered unfair and wrong, and for that reason I'm a better person than the one who hurt me, especially because after three years they have made no effort to apologize to me.
It certainly helps that even after three years of being too afraid to do anything I'm still a more skilled and all around better artist than the one who hurt me and I will gladly stand by that statement because I'm not going to let someone degrade my artwork by saying they could some day be as good as me when at present they are not I'm also not going to spare someone else's feelings when they didn't spare mine and I actually have a dog in this race. I consider you one of the best artists on DA so I say this hoping you'll gain some solace from that
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I always feel the need to say that you're one of the best people I've ever interacted with on here. And the little blips of abuse I HAVE seen come upon you tears me up.
I'm very happy you've risen above the people who took the time to hurt you again and again. You've got nothing to prove to these people.
You've always been nothing but wonderful to me. Genuinely, I hope you remain strong and happy. I appreciate hearing that you hold an ethic like that. I respect that.
People on dA seem to have a typical pack mentality and like to attack users who haven't done anything to them. And while I understand their reasons, I don't think it's right. Treat all as they've treated you.
I don't understand why or how someone could do what you're describing in good conscience
Thank you so much for that. That means a lot. I hope you stay around. You're a wonderful person no matter what people say and this site is better because of you, in my opinion.
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Just yesterday I was in a chat where we were discussing the 'sweetest people we know' and two people came forward with your name.
I don't know you very well, but I have high respects for you, and you are dearly loved by your friends in this community.
Im glad to see your venting your frustrations, and that your not cornered or letting this be bottled. Im sorry to hear you feel you've been used.
Whatever the situation, I hope the best outcome for you.
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That means a lot. I try so hard to be kind to people by default.
I've noticed that sometimes the way I interact with people opens me up for them to treat me poorly though.
It's an insight to what people are truly like on the inside. But that doesn't make it easier :\
Thank you <3
I don't know why I thought people might be against me opening up about all of this. Everyone's been so amazing and supportive.
I can't let the art world be a negative space for me. I work retail--I can't let work and play both be unhappy! LOL It's about time I started taking more control over my personal space.
It's already much better.
Things worked out just fine and I no longer have to interact with toxic individuals. Best outcome possible!
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It doesn't.
Its especially difficult when you've come to like the person before you find out they're an asshat.
But its a huge breath of relief once its done with.
Having even an occasional brush with someone who makes you groan inwardly can bring down your whole day. Best to not let those people stick around.
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Precisely
Just get it over with. Don't waste your time on people who make you feel bad.
Focus on the happyyyyyyyyyyyyy
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I can be very non-confrontational as well, but you are absolutely right and you said it beautifully. <3 Don't waste your time on anyone who doesn't deserve or appreciate it.
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Awh; I know the feeling to have to avoid conflict. You go fight and kick assholes in the butt! 
I know you have good friends and such already, but if you need someone to chat to, I'm here ^^
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So much respect for you kicking ass and taking names! People who treat you badly don't deserve your time. Crabby yeti babes forever. <3
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