MacPanda [2004-03-30 23:02:23 +0000 UTC]

its nice. again u show a lot of potential, so keep plugging away. my biggest issue with this one is this line. my face.You look at me. the problem is you ended a sentence mid line, and started a new one. it really obstructs the flow of it. but other than that i liked the imagry.

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HowlingMoon [2004-03-26 21:09:59 +0000 UTC]

Ugh...I know the feling about that I hope that you feel better as so I do too.

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faerymagic [2004-03-26 04:41:49 +0000 UTC]

Intense. I read it over and over a few times, and I dare say that you have such a way with words... you describe things so expertly. For a moment, my head swam of memories of times I have cried... And I swear just now that the lights blurred in recollection of that sting when tears first form in crying eyes... the hot sadness of that first tear comes alive in this little poem. So touching. So relevant to everybody who has ever had to say goodbye before they were ready.

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Lavatera [2004-03-26 00:12:21 +0000 UTC]

totaly kewl, a lil sad though...

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betweensmiles [2004-03-25 13:44:22 +0000 UTC]

interesting, vivid and fun i like Too many typos though

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