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Description
Sticks And Stones

AUTHOR: The Humbug

DISCLAIMER: “Kim Possible” and all characters within © The Walt Disney Company and its related entities. Kim Possible created by Mark McCorkle & Bob Schooley. All rights reserved. No profit is being collected from the fiction contained within.

SUMMARY: This is a Kim/Shego pairing fan fiction, made seasonal for Halloween and mostly the killing of a plot bunny. This is set in my own personal “Who’s Writing This Crap?’ Kigoverse, however we all know that Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible are the sole creations of NoDrogs and I suggest you go read his story ‘A Small Possibility’ for their origin.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Romance, Slash

RATING: PG-13 for intimations of a physical relationship and intimate contact between consenting adult females and should also cover some occasionally harsh language. I’m not certain how it will apply to farting or yelling at authority figures. If any of this will offend you, please read something else and then seek professional help.

Sticks And Stones / Two

Ron managed to get them home before dinner. It was all that Kim could do to keep Shego under control as they shared the back seat together; Ron promised not to look if Kim promised that they wouldn’t make noise. The world’s oldest distraction worked well and the three only switched seating arrangements when they finally reached Ron’s front door. Shego jumped into the driver’s seat of ‘The Sloth’ as the lanky hero trudged up the walk towards his family home, a decidedly lopsided Jack o’ Lantern watching them from the porch.

“You really need to lighten up on Ron.” Kim waved from the back seat as they pulled away.

“I really don’t.”

“I, for one, really appreciated his help last night.” Kim sighed. “Help, nothing. He saved my life.”

“…”

“You both did. I can’t thank you enough, baby.” She leaned forward and ran her fingers through the tangled mass of flowing black hair. “I mean it from the bottom of my heart.”

“… welcome…”

“Why is it that you always start bugging when Ron and I get close?”

“…”

“You’re going to answer me.”

“Who’s gonna make me?”

“Me.”

Shego growled as she pulled back onto the primary lane; she was all too aware of Kim’s methods and that her angel’s methods of coercion weren’t limited to pouting. ‘The wheels of justice grind slow but fine’, to coin a phrase, and Kim Possible could wear away at you like a glacier if she so chose.

“If this doesn’t make any sense, it’s your fault.”

“Sock it to me.” Kim flopped back carelessly across the rear seat.

“When I see you two pawing at each other…”

“Oh, please!”

“… I’m reminded that you’ve never been with a man.”

Kim roused herself. What the Hell?!?

“What the Hell?!?”

“Simmer down, Rhonda Ramjet. Yes, I remember what you told me about that Spankey guy you tried to date back in high school.”

“Mankey! Josh Mankey! And what do you mean by…?!”

“What I mean, Kimberly Ann, is that you never formed a relationship with a male before I came along.” Shego drove ahead, literally and figuratively. “Nothing beyond your friendship with Ron, deep though it is, and your schoolgirl crush on Spankey.”

“Mankey!”

“Healthy young woman, decidedly as much over-sexed as she was repressed.”

“Ghaa!”

“And not one sexual relationship with a male of the species? Shocking.”

“So??”

“You have to admit that it is the natural order of things.”

“So not getting your point!”

“But so getting pissed, apparently. How about this… the mighty Shego sees you rolling around on the grass with your bestest friend in the universe and I’m afraid that you might someday want to bed him just to see what it would be like.”

“…I… I…”

“You’re too sharp and imaginative to never have though about it. I can’t fault you for errant fantasies, but there’s no way I’d ever believe that the idea hasn’t crossed your mind.” Shego made the next to last turn before they reached the block where their home was. “So please don’t deny it.”

This was beyond awkweird. Was Shego accusing her of infidelity, of ‘lusting in her heart’ for Ron? If so, the other woman was being eerily calm about it.

“Where in the heck did this come from?”

“Welcome to my brain, Princess. Mind your head and watch that first step. It’s doozey.”

“It’s a darker place than I’d realized.”

“‘Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.’”

“You seriously believe that I would break the vows I made to you?”

“No.”

They were on the final approach to their driveway. Kim cleared her mind of anything else that she might have said and just concentrated on breathing for the next few seconds.

“Do you want me to stop being close to Ron?”

“Just forget I said anything.”

“But you did. Say something, I mean.”

“You made me.”

Shego pulled into the drive, parked right up against the garage door and shut off the engine. Her movements were tired but controlled and she was reaching for the door handle when a small hand came up from around the driver’s seat to stop her.

“Shego, wait.”

The woman behind the wheel stopped.

“Ron and I mean too much to each other to ever let go completely. We’ve been together for so long that a little piece of ourselves lives in each others hearts.” Kim saw the one reinforced glove tighten on the steering wheel but didn’t let that stop her. “But our hearts have found new homes. Ron’s has found a place close to Bonnie and their child. Mine has found a home with you.”

The green and black clad arm moved away from the door handle and both hands gripped the steering wheel. Kim continued.

“I don’t just want you, I need you. The last time I was close enough to Ron that I envisioned a future with him was the first time I realized that we would never be happy as a couple. We’ve talked about it since and, well…” Kim was surprised at how painful this was to admit, but it was a small price to pay for her mate’s assurance. “We knew that we would never be happy, not the way we should be. I would always worry that I was treating him the way he deserved and he would always be afraid of letting me down. Afraid of not living up to his full potential.”

She paused; there was no reaction from the front seat.

“My love for Ron is as full and as strong… and as intimate as it will ever get, and that’s been our shared decision for years. The only person that I want to share my life with, wake up next to, battle Hell alongside with and raise those two Troglodytes with is already sitting right in this car. If anyone in this car should be feeling doubt as to their worthiness, it’s me.” She grunted as her left leg cramped a bit. “I’m stubborn, cranky, I make snap judgments and never, EVER remember to tell my wife how much I appreciate her.”

Kim settled back and lifted her mission satchel. She smiled at the blank expression Shego was wearing and how intently the older woman was inspecting the garage door through the windscreen glass; it was a sure sign that the former villain was in danger of getting choked up and would appreciate a change of subject. The redhead was all too happy to accommodate knew what was on both of their minds.

“So howzabout we go inside for a really quick change of clothes and then collect little Cuff and Link from my folks for a night on the town?”

“… please and thank you…”

Shego let the last three minutes nestle deep into her subconscious and shoved her marital anxieties aside; the past few hours had held more drama than she cared for and she’d much rather be reunited with her children. She was as much in need of occasional moral support as her younger spouse, but would rather lose a toe than admit it.

“I’m still hungry.”

“No, really?” Kim knew that she’d heard her mate’s stomach rumbling.

“I’d eat you if there were enough meat on them bones.”

“You so FUNNY.” Kim’s own stomach was rumbling. “What are you in the mood for?”

“You.”

“But you just said...”

“I didn’t say that there wasn’t enough meat for an appetizer.”

“Oh.” Emerald eyes shone from the rearview mirror and Kim blushed. There was always time for a Plan B and Shego was obviously feeling more like her usual self. “Howzabout we go inside the house for an unnecessarily prolonged change of clothes and THEN collect little Cuff and Link from my folks for a night on the town?”

“Yum! And then let’s all get burgers.

“How about we let the girls decide? They were pretty bummed that we had to leave, so let’s give them the choice.”

“Poopie.” Shego didn’t have it in her to pout; the desire to be with the twins was too strong. “I just hope that they don’t want to go to Bueno Nacho again.”

“Why not?”

“Mexican food gives me gas.”

“Don’t I know it.”

88888888

Kim and the girls already knew what they wanted but they hung back from the counter because Shego could never decide among what were, in her opinion, the lesser of the evils.

“I’ve never seen you so indecisive than when we come here to eat!”

“I don’t like Mexican food!” Shego had eyed the menu from left to right; now she started from the right and worked her way back. “I wanted a burger.”

“You love Mexican food and you know it.”

“Well, it doesn’t love me.”

“You ain’t kidding.” Kim grinned. “I thought you were going to set the sheets on fire that one time!”

“Hey, that was only because I tried to light one with my plasma!” Shego blushed, a characteristic but rarely seen bruised color. “Coming from a family of four boys, you should expect that from me.”

“Don’t forget that I have two brothers, myself.”

“Uncle Jim and Uncle Tim!”

“That’s right, Sheki!”

“TWEEBS!”

“Indoor voice, please and thank you, Kasy.”

“Yes, Mommy!”

The twins were well behaved as usual but that wouldn’t last if they didn’t get some food in their bellies. Six year olds grew fast, as Kim knew all too well. Kasy was inspecting the rack of toys and Sheki was looking towards the condiments. Both were hungry and their Mommy could hear their stomachs grumbling.

“Shego if you don’t hurry up and pick something, I’m going to let the girls ravage and devour the next person who walks through the door.”

“Mommy, eating people is gross!”

“That’s right, Sheki. You just keep that in mind.”

“Especially if you’re in a Uruguayan rugby team.”

“She-GO…!”

“I’m just saying…”

“BRAINS!”

“Mommy, Kasy just said ‘brains’!”

“Shego, you didn’t let them watch ‘The Movie’ did you?”

“Nuh-uh, Princess. Not my fault!”

“Kasy Ann, where did you hear that?”

“Grandpa. He let us watch the zommmmbies!”

“See, Kimmie? Crazy starts at home.” Shego sniffed. “Besides… your dad likes the new zombie pictures and I prefer my walking dead ‘old school’.”

“If you don’t hurry up and pick something to eat I’m going to go find me an antenna.” Kim leveled her eyes at the larger woman and her expression was very convincing. “So help me, I will.”

“Ok! Ok!”

More amused than frustrated, the taller woman still maintained a healthy scowl when she finally moved forward and placed her order with Ned, the counterman of the Middleton Bueno Nacho franchise. Ned knew Kim well and was always happy to see her but he always hesitated before taking Shego’s order. He was too good of an employee not to so the Possibles ended up with one Armadillo JR meal for each child, a grande-sized taco platter for Kim and a naco-enchilada combo meal for Shego. All four of them balanced trays and drinks as they made they’re way to a preferred table near the front of the building.

“Does anybody need to go to the bathroom?”

“I took care of that before we left the house, Pumpkin.”

“Not you!” Kim rolled her eyes at Shego’s smirk. “I mean little Frick and Frack, here!” She bent down to gather her daughters’ attention. “So, how about it? Bathroom?”

“No, thanks!”

“No thank you, Mommy.”

“Do you need to make shiny hands?”

“No.”

“No!”

“‘Shiny hands’… that’s a good one.”

“I just don’t want them getting sick because they haven’t shed some of their plasma energy in the last few days.”

It was a little known fact that if Shego or the twins failed to expend some of their plasma radiation every few days, body aches and nausea would occur. The energy was stored in their bodies after having started as ultraviolet light converted from any ambient source such as the sun. Letting the energy build would cause an involuntary emission if the levels became too high. As an adult, Shego simply fired up a plasma field for a few seconds now and then if there hadn’t been any recent missions. The children didn’t have that much control; their powers were still weak and hardly strong enough to make toast.

Shego figured out why the girls were so cranky one day and encouraged them to emit their own little plasma fields. They felt better almost instantly… but Kim had been frantic because she feared that her babies had been on the verge of literally exploding. Such was never the case and so Kim came up with the term ‘making shiny hands’ as a way to assuage her panic.

“They made shiny hands this morning when we were cleaning up the back yard, so they should be good ‘til for awhile. And I meant exactly what I said, Princess… that was a good one.”

“Oh. Well, thank you, then!” Kim bounced in her seat and Shego shook her head in mock disgust.

It was early evening and for patrons to see Kim Possible eating dinner at the local Bueno Nacho with her best friend Ron Stoppable used to be a common enough sight, once upon a time. The two still shared an occasional meal here together but these days it was more common to see Kim in the company of a slightly older woman with amazingly long and black hair and an unusually green complexion, usually accompanied by two darling little girls that MOST folks thought were Kim’s children because MOST people from the area had known her to have been pregnant a few years back.

That the girls wore the same complexion as the older woman was not fully understood and Kim wasn’t going to explain that to anyone outside of immediate friends and family. Not that she was embarrassed or ashamed; nothing could be farther from the truth. It was just that the truth… could seem so awkweird!

When Shego took her first bite, Kim let slip a giggle. It never failed to amuse her that she favored Ron’s personal creation.

“I’m telling Ron!”

“It’s the lesser of the evils.”

“I’m telling Ron!”

“You do and it’s a ‘Dutch oven’ for you tonight, Pumpkin!”

Kim smirked and pointed to her own tray.

“Then it’ll be a double ‘Dutch oven’. Mutually assured destruction!”

Shego grimaced at the thought.

“You nasty!” She handed her daughters some napkins. “Isn’t Mommy nasty!”

“Why’s Mommy nasty?” Sheki carefully folded the paper from her drinking straw.

“Because she farts!”

“SHEGO!” Kim turned as red as a packet of Diablo sauce. “We are NOT the only people IN here!”

“She makes poo-gas!”

“Poo-gas!” Kasy blew the paper off of her straw and it went flying across the table. Sheki picked it up and added it to her orderly pile of trash.

“Farts are gross!”

“Kim Pootable!”

“Momma said POOT!”

Even the reserved Sheki laughed at that one.

“Great. I hope you’re happy.”

“Sorry, Princess!” Shego looked anything but sorry. Her smile did fade, however, when she saw the toy that had been provided with each child’s meal. “Do they STILL have to make those?” She nudged the Lil’ Diablo figure a few inches further away with a black-glossed nail. Now it was Kim’s turn to have a laugh at her spouse’s expense.

“One of these days you’ll wake up and I’ll have set a dozen of those things around your side of the bed.”

“I’d rather be kicked into an antenna…” This prompted a brief battle of sticking out tongues but Kim had to declare a cease-fire after Shego flicked a piece of shredded cheese at the petite woman and the girls showed signs of wanting to get into the act with heavy artillery, namely with handfuls of meat.

With a little good-natured teasing, the meal settled down into the usual ‘Family Night Out’ and they ate and talked; Kim and Shego discussed work at ‘GJ’ and their own household occurrences while the girls chimed in with rousing tales of First Grade and Pixie Scouts. The parents always made it a point to speak with their offspring as if they were adults… editing their words, of course, to best fit within the education and experience of their daughters, but never talking down to them or in a condescending manner. This progressed normally until a point in time when Sheki finished taking a drink and turned to her mother thoughtfully.

“Mommy?”

“Yes, baby?”

“What does ‘carpet muncher’ mean?”

Kim froze, Shego sputtered on her own beverage and all nearby conversation ceased in the small fast-food restaurant, disrupted as if a phonograph needle had been scraped across the surface of a long-playing record. Shego regained control of her airway before Kim did and the former thief could feel the blush rising from across the narrow table. She gingerly combed her fingers through Sheki’s long, black hair to get the little girl’s attention.

“Honey, where did you hear that?”

“A girl in my class.” The little carbon copy of Shego lifted her napkin and dabbed innocently at her face. “Her name is Missy. She was helping the teacher pass out milk and she said it when she gave me mine.”

“Oh.”

“What does it…?”

“It’s… not a nice thing to say.” Three pairs of emeralds shifted towards Kim; she finally found her voice again. “It’s a very rude expression that some people use for… other people.”

“Like a bad word?”

“Well… sort of. The words aren’t bad but when you put them together, it’s bad.”

“We have carpet at the house.” Kasy wanted to get involved in the conversation.

“That’s different, sweet pea.”

“We munch our food when we eat!” Sheki made this sound like a proclamation. She was holding a nacho up to the face of her doll and making chewing noises for an otherwise disinterested Mr. Bunny.

“Munch-munch-munch!”

“It’s still different, guys.” Her initial reaction abating, Kim shook off her anxiety and reached out to gently tousle the hair of both girls. “The words are good but not when you say them together and never when you say it to someone else.”

“Y’ok, Pumpkin?”

“Yeah, sure.” She certainly felt ok. Shego wasn’t so sure yet but she let it pass for the nonce.

After almost seven years together as a couple, the redhead could still slide into a funk when confronted with her choice of lifestyle and Shego knew better than to ignore the signs. It was her angel that she was more concerned about than the children; the girls were sharp as whips, highly intelligent for their age and equally so, both Sheki with her quiet ways and hyperactive Kasy who was lovingly smearing cheese on Kim’s hand.

“Mommy’s right. Please don’t ever repeat what Missy said.” She spoke to her children but still kept a wary eye on her diminutive spouse.

“Then why’d she say it?”

Kim shrugged and smiled as she licked the cheese away.

“I dunno, sweetie. Promise me that you’ll never say that to anyone, please?”

“KAY!”

“Ok, Mommy!”

“Don’t ever call anyone that and let your Momma and I know if anyone says that around you again, ok?”

“WE WILL!”

“Good girls!”

“So not da’ dwama.”

“Sheki Go Possible!” Kim feigned shock as Shego laughed loudly “Where did you hear that??”

“From you, Mommy.”

The pall that had been the centerpiece of their table for the last few minutes was officially broken. Kim breathed a sigh of relief.

“You know… it’s still pretty early. We should have plenty of time to watch ‘Mr. Sit Down’ when we get home before bedtime.”

“YAY!!” There was no reminder about using the indoor voice that time. Shego waited until the girls were absorbed in their meals again before hooking her mate’s attention.

“Nice work there, Mrs. Possible. Very smooth.” She gave the redhead a wink.

“Thank you, Ms. Possible. Whew!” Kim pantomimed wiping her brow. “Mom never thought to warn me about THAT sitch before!”

“Remind me to tell you about a man named Art Linkletter, someday.”

“Who?”

“Never mind. Not important now.” Shego took the time to enjoy a few more bites of her naco before speaking again. “Does it have to be ‘Mr. Sit Down’?”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing… except what happened that time Dr. D and I got pulled into that television dimension with you and Ron.” She shivered. “There was an unfortunate incident involving ‘Mr. Sit Down’.”

Kim’s eyes glinted and she stretched out a foot and gently stroked Shego’s leg beneath the table.

“Well, if you’re a good girl, maybe ‘Miss Go Down’ will visit you tonight.”

“Kimmie, it’s ‘Mr. Sit Down’, not ‘Miss Go D…” The words caught in her throat. She felt the heat of her own blush rising.

“… oh…”

“Want to ask me again if I’m ok?”

“Oh, I know you’re alright.” Shego used her napkin to wipe away a few drops of sweat that had nothing to do with the spicy food. “In fact, you’re amazing.”

“Please and thank you!”

To Be Continued…

Author’s Notes: Sorry, folks. The first chapter was a blatant red herring; I’d just watched both ‘Jeepers Creepers’ films back to back and just HAD to see how Team Possible might fare against the Creeper! Victor Salva’s work is being used without permission.

Description
Sticks And Stones

AUTHOR: The Humbug

DISCLAIMER: “Kim Possible” and all characters within © The Walt Disney Company and its related entities. Kim Possible created by Mark McCorkle & Bob Schooley. All rights reserved. No profit is being collected from the fiction contained within.

SUMMARY: This is a Kim/Shego pairing fan fiction, made seasonal for Halloween and mostly the killing of a plot bunny. This is set in my own personal “Who’s Writing This Crap?’ Kigoverse, however we all know that Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible are the sole creations of NoDrogs and I suggest you go read his story ‘A Small Possibility’ for their origin.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Romance, Slash

RATING: PG-13 for intimations of a physical relationship and intimate contact between consenting adult females and should also cover some occasionally harsh language. I’m not certain how it will apply to farting or yelling at authority figures. If any of this will offend you, please read something else and then seek professional help.

Sticks And Stones / Two

Ron managed to get them home before dinner. It was all that Kim could do to keep Shego under control as they shared the back seat together; Ron promised not to look if Kim promised that they wouldn’t make noise. The world’s oldest distraction worked well and the three only switched seating arrangements when they finally reached Ron’s front door. Shego jumped into the driver’s seat of ‘The Sloth’ as the lanky hero trudged up the walk towards his family home, a decidedly lopsided Jack o’ Lantern watching them from the porch.

“You really need to lighten up on Ron.” Kim waved from the back seat as they pulled away.

“I really don’t.”

“I, for one, really appreciated his help last night.” Kim sighed. “Help, nothing. He saved my life.”

“…”

“You both did. I can’t thank you enough, baby.” She leaned forward and ran her fingers through the tangled mass of flowing black hair. “I mean it from the bottom of my heart.”

“… welcome…”

“Why is it that you always start bugging when Ron and I get close?”

“…”

“You’re going to answer me.”

“Who’s gonna make me?”

“Me.”

Shego growled as she pulled back onto the primary lane; she was all too aware of Kim’s methods and that her angel’s methods of coercion weren’t limited to pouting. ‘The wheels of justice grind slow but fine’, to coin a phrase, and Kim Possible could wear away at you like a glacier if she so chose.

“If this doesn’t make any sense, it’s your fault.”

“Sock it to me.” Kim flopped back carelessly across the rear seat.

“When I see you two pawing at each other…”

“Oh, please!”

“… I’m reminded that you’ve never been with a man.”

Kim roused herself. What the Hell?!?

“What the Hell?!?”

“Simmer down, Rhonda Ramjet. Yes, I remember what you told me about that Spankey guy you tried to date back in high school.”

“Mankey! Josh Mankey! And what do you mean by…?!”

“What I mean, Kimberly Ann, is that you never formed a relationship with a male before I came along.” Shego drove ahead, literally and figuratively. “Nothing beyond your friendship with Ron, deep though it is, and your schoolgirl crush on Spankey.”

“Mankey!”

“Healthy young woman, decidedly as much over-sexed as she was repressed.”

“Ghaa!”

“And not one sexual relationship with a male of the species? Shocking.”

“So??”

“You have to admit that it is the natural order of things.”

“So not getting your point!”

“But so getting pissed, apparently. How about this… the mighty Shego sees you rolling around on the grass with your bestest friend in the universe and I’m afraid that you might someday want to bed him just to see what it would be like.”

“…I… I…”

“You’re too sharp and imaginative to never have though about it. I can’t fault you for errant fantasies, but there’s no way I’d ever believe that the idea hasn’t crossed your mind.” Shego made the next to last turn before they reached the block where their home was. “So please don’t deny it.”

This was beyond awkweird. Was Shego accusing her of infidelity, of ‘lusting in her heart’ for Ron? If so, the other woman was being eerily calm about it.

“Where in the heck did this come from?”

“Welcome to my brain, Princess. Mind your head and watch that first step. It’s doozey.”

“It’s a darker place than I’d realized.”

“‘Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.’”

“You seriously believe that I would break the vows I made to you?”

“No.”

They were on the final approach to their driveway. Kim cleared her mind of anything else that she might have said and just concentrated on breathing for the next few seconds.

“Do you want me to stop being close to Ron?”

“Just forget I said anything.”

“But you did. Say something, I mean.”

“You made me.”

Shego pulled into the drive, parked right up against the garage door and shut off the engine. Her movements were tired but controlled and she was reaching for the door handle when a small hand came up from around the driver’s seat to stop her.

“Shego, wait.”

The woman behind the wheel stopped.

“Ron and I mean too much to each other to ever let go completely. We’ve been together for so long that a little piece of ourselves lives in each others hearts.” Kim saw the one reinforced glove tighten on the steering wheel but didn’t let that stop her. “But our hearts have found new homes. Ron’s has found a place close to Bonnie and their child. Mine has found a home with you.”

The green and black clad arm moved away from the door handle and both hands gripped the steering wheel. Kim continued.

“I don’t just want you, I need you. The last time I was close enough to Ron that I envisioned a future with him was the first time I realized that we would never be happy as a couple. We’ve talked about it since and, well…” Kim was surprised at how painful this was to admit, but it was a small price to pay for her mate’s assurance. “We knew that we would never be happy, not the way we should be. I would always worry that I was treating him the way he deserved and he would always be afraid of letting me down. Afraid of not living up to his full potential.”

She paused; there was no reaction from the front seat.

“My love for Ron is as full and as strong… and as intimate as it will ever get, and that’s been our shared decision for years. The only person that I want to share my life with, wake up next to, battle Hell alongside with and raise those two Troglodytes with is already sitting right in this car. If anyone in this car should be feeling doubt as to their worthiness, it’s me.” She grunted as her left leg cramped a bit. “I’m stubborn, cranky, I make snap judgments and never, EVER remember to tell my wife how much I appreciate her.”

Kim settled back and lifted her mission satchel. She smiled at the blank expression Shego was wearing and how intently the older woman was inspecting the garage door through the windscreen glass; it was a sure sign that the former villain was in danger of getting choked up and would appreciate a change of subject. The redhead was all too happy to accommodate knew what was on both of their minds.

“So howzabout we go inside for a really quick change of clothes and then collect little Cuff and Link from my folks for a night on the town?”

“… please and thank you…”

Shego let the last three minutes nestle deep into her subconscious and shoved her marital anxieties aside; the past few hours had held more drama than she cared for and she’d much rather be reunited with her children. She was as much in need of occasional moral support as her younger spouse, but would rather lose a toe than admit it.

“I’m still hungry.”

“No, really?” Kim knew that she’d heard her mate’s stomach rumbling.

“I’d eat you if there were enough meat on them bones.”

“You so FUNNY.” Kim’s own stomach was rumbling. “What are you in the mood for?”

“You.”

“But you just said...”

“I didn’t say that there wasn’t enough meat for an appetizer.”

“Oh.” Emerald eyes shone from the rearview mirror and Kim blushed. There was always time for a Plan B and Shego was obviously feeling more like her usual self. “Howzabout we go inside the house for an unnecessarily prolonged change of clothes and THEN collect little Cuff and Link from my folks for a night on the town?”

“Yum! And then let’s all get burgers.

“How about we let the girls decide? They were pretty bummed that we had to leave, so let’s give them the choice.”

“Poopie.” Shego didn’t have it in her to pout; the desire to be with the twins was too strong. “I just hope that they don’t want to go to Bueno Nacho again.”

“Why not?”

“Mexican food gives me gas.”

“Don’t I know it.”

88888888

Kim and the girls already knew what they wanted but they hung back from the counter because Shego could never decide among what were, in her opinion, the lesser of the evils.

“I’ve never seen you so indecisive than when we come here to eat!”

“I don’t like Mexican food!” Shego had eyed the menu from left to right; now she started from the right and worked her way back. “I wanted a burger.”

“You love Mexican food and you know it.”

“Well, it doesn’t love me.”

“You ain’t kidding.” Kim grinned. “I thought you were going to set the sheets on fire that one time!”

“Hey, that was only because I tried to light one with my plasma!” Shego blushed, a characteristic but rarely seen bruised color. “Coming from a family of four boys, you should expect that from me.”

“Don’t forget that I have two brothers, myself.”

“Uncle Jim and Uncle Tim!”

“That’s right, Sheki!”

“TWEEBS!”

“Indoor voice, please and thank you, Kasy.”

“Yes, Mommy!”

The twins were well behaved as usual but that wouldn’t last if they didn’t get some food in their bellies. Six year olds grew fast, as Kim knew all too well. Kasy was inspecting the rack of toys and Sheki was looking towards the condiments. Both were hungry and their Mommy could hear their stomachs grumbling.

“Shego if you don’t hurry up and pick something, I’m going to let the girls ravage and devour the next person who walks through the door.”

“Mommy, eating people is gross!”

“That’s right, Sheki. You just keep that in mind.”

“Especially if you’re in a Uruguayan rugby team.”

“She-GO…!”

“I’m just saying…”

“BRAINS!”

“Mommy, Kasy just said ‘brains’!”

“Shego, you didn’t let them watch ‘The Movie’ did you?”

“Nuh-uh, Princess. Not my fault!”

“Kasy Ann, where did you hear that?”

“Grandpa. He let us watch the zommmmbies!”

“See, Kimmie? Crazy starts at home.” Shego sniffed. “Besides… your dad likes the new zombie pictures and I prefer my walking dead ‘old school’.”

“If you don’t hurry up and pick something to eat I’m going to go find me an antenna.” Kim leveled her eyes at the larger woman and her expression was very convincing. “So help me, I will.”

“Ok! Ok!”

More amused than frustrated, the taller woman still maintained a healthy scowl when she finally moved forward and placed her order with Ned, the counterman of the Middleton Bueno Nacho franchise. Ned knew Kim well and was always happy to see her but he always hesitated before taking Shego’s order. He was too good of an employee not to so the Possibles ended up with one Armadillo JR meal for each child, a grande-sized taco platter for Kim and a naco-enchilada combo meal for Shego. All four of them balanced trays and drinks as they made they’re way to a preferred table near the front of the building.

“Does anybody need to go to the bathroom?”

“I took care of that before we left the house, Pumpkin.”

“Not you!” Kim rolled her eyes at Shego’s smirk. “I mean little Frick and Frack, here!” She bent down to gather her daughters’ attention. “So, how about it? Bathroom?”

“No, thanks!”

“No thank you, Mommy.”

“Do you need to make shiny hands?”

“No.”

“No!”

“‘Shiny hands’… that’s a good one.”

“I just don’t want them getting sick because they haven’t shed some of their plasma energy in the last few days.”

It was a little known fact that if Shego or the twins failed to expend some of their plasma radiation every few days, body aches and nausea would occur. The energy was stored in their bodies after having started as ultraviolet light converted from any ambient source such as the sun. Letting the energy build would cause an involuntary emission if the levels became too high. As an adult, Shego simply fired up a plasma field for a few seconds now and then if there hadn’t been any recent missions. The children didn’t have that much control; their powers were still weak and hardly strong enough to make toast.

Shego figured out why the girls were so cranky one day and encouraged them to emit their own little plasma fields. They felt better almost instantly… but Kim had been frantic because she feared that her babies had been on the verge of literally exploding. Such was never the case and so Kim came up with the term ‘making shiny hands’ as a way to assuage her panic.

“They made shiny hands this morning when we were cleaning up the back yard, so they should be good ‘til for awhile. And I meant exactly what I said, Princess… that was a good one.”

“Oh. Well, thank you, then!” Kim bounced in her seat and Shego shook her head in mock disgust.

It was early evening and for patrons to see Kim Possible eating dinner at the local Bueno Nacho with her best friend Ron Stoppable used to be a common enough sight, once upon a time. The two still shared an occasional meal here together but these days it was more common to see Kim in the company of a slightly older woman with amazingly long and black hair and an unusually green complexion, usually accompanied by two darling little girls that MOST folks thought were Kim’s children because MOST people from the area had known her to have been pregnant a few years back.

That the girls wore the same complexion as the older woman was not fully understood and Kim wasn’t going to explain that to anyone outside of immediate friends and family. Not that she was embarrassed or ashamed; nothing could be farther from the truth. It was just that the truth… could seem so awkweird!

When Shego took her first bite, Kim let slip a giggle. It never failed to amuse her that she favored Ron’s personal creation.

“I’m telling Ron!”

“It’s the lesser of the evils.”

“I’m telling Ron!”

“You do and it’s a ‘Dutch oven’ for you tonight, Pumpkin!”

Kim smirked and pointed to her own tray.

“Then it’ll be a double ‘Dutch oven’. Mutually assured destruction!”

Shego grimaced at the thought.

“You nasty!” She handed her daughters some napkins. “Isn’t Mommy nasty!”

“Why’s Mommy nasty?” Sheki carefully folded the paper from her drinking straw.

“Because she farts!”

“SHEGO!” Kim turned as red as a packet of Diablo sauce. “We are NOT the only people IN here!”

“She makes poo-gas!”

“Poo-gas!” Kasy blew the paper off of her straw and it went flying across the table. Sheki picked it up and added it to her orderly pile of trash.

“Farts are gross!”

“Kim Pootable!”

“Momma said POOT!”

Even the reserved Sheki laughed at that one.

“Great. I hope you’re happy.”

“Sorry, Princess!” Shego looked anything but sorry. Her smile did fade, however, when she saw the toy that had been provided with each child’s meal. “Do they STILL have to make those?” She nudged the Lil’ Diablo figure a few inches further away with a black-glossed nail. Now it was Kim’s turn to have a laugh at her spouse’s expense.

“One of these days you’ll wake up and I’ll have set a dozen of those things around your side of the bed.”

“I’d rather be kicked into an antenna…” This prompted a brief battle of sticking out tongues but Kim had to declare a cease-fire after Shego flicked a piece of shredded cheese at the petite woman and the girls showed signs of wanting to get into the act with heavy artillery, namely with handfuls of meat.

With a little good-natured teasing, the meal settled down into the usual ‘Family Night Out’ and they ate and talked; Kim and Shego discussed work at ‘GJ’ and their own household occurrences while the girls chimed in with rousing tales of First Grade and Pixie Scouts. The parents always made it a point to speak with their offspring as if they were adults… editing their words, of course, to best fit within the education and experience of their daughters, but never talking down to them or in a condescending manner. This progressed normally until a point in time when Sheki finished taking a drink and turned to her mother thoughtfully.

“Mommy?”

“Yes, baby?”

“What does ‘carpet muncher’ mean?”

Kim froze, Shego sputtered on her own beverage and all nearby conversation ceased in the small fast-food restaurant, disrupted as if a phonograph needle had been scraped across the surface of a long-playing record. Shego regained control of her airway before Kim did and the former thief could feel the blush rising from across the narrow table. She gingerly combed her fingers through Sheki’s long, black hair to get the little girl’s attention.

“Honey, where did you hear that?”

“A girl in my class.” The little carbon copy of Shego lifted her napkin and dabbed innocently at her face. “Her name is Missy. She was helping the teacher pass out milk and she said it when she gave me mine.”

“Oh.”

“What does it…?”

“It’s… not a nice thing to say.” Three pairs of emeralds shifted towards Kim; she finally found her voice again. “It’s a very rude expression that some people use for… other people.”

“Like a bad word?”

“Well… sort of. The words aren’t bad but when you put them together, it’s bad.”

“We have carpet at the house.” Kasy wanted to get involved in the conversation.

“That’s different, sweet pea.”

“We munch our food when we eat!” Sheki made this sound like a proclamation. She was holding a nacho up to the face of her doll and making chewing noises for an otherwise disinterested Mr. Bunny.

“Munch-munch-munch!”

“It’s still different, guys.” Her initial reaction abating, Kim shook off her anxiety and reached out to gently tousle the hair of both girls. “The words are good but not when you say them together and never when you say it to someone else.”

“Y’ok, Pumpkin?”

“Yeah, sure.” She certainly felt ok. Shego wasn’t so sure yet but she let it pass for the nonce.

After almost seven years together as a couple, the redhead could still slide into a funk when confronted with her choice of lifestyle and Shego knew better than to ignore the signs. It was her angel that she was more concerned about than the children; the girls were sharp as whips, highly intelligent for their age and equally so, both Sheki with her quiet ways and hyperactive Kasy who was lovingly smearing cheese on Kim’s hand.

“Mommy’s right. Please don’t ever repeat what Missy said.” She spoke to her children but still kept a wary eye on her diminutive spouse.

“Then why’d she say it?”

Kim shrugged and smiled as she licked the cheese away.

“I dunno, sweetie. Promise me that you’ll never say that to anyone, please?”

“KAY!”

“Ok, Mommy!”

“Don’t ever call anyone that and let your Momma and I know if anyone says that around you again, ok?”

“WE WILL!”

“Good girls!”

“So not da’ dwama.”

“Sheki Go Possible!” Kim feigned shock as Shego laughed loudly “Where did you hear that??”

“From you, Mommy.”

The pall that had been the centerpiece of their table for the last few minutes was officially broken. Kim breathed a sigh of relief.

“You know… it’s still pretty early. We should have plenty of time to watch ‘Mr. Sit Down’ when we get home before bedtime.”

“YAY!!” There was no reminder about using the indoor voice that time. Shego waited until the girls were absorbed in their meals again before hooking her mate’s attention.

“Nice work there, Mrs. Possible. Very smooth.” She gave the redhead a wink.

“Thank you, Ms. Possible. Whew!” Kim pantomimed wiping her brow. “Mom never thought to warn me about THAT sitch before!”

“Remind me to tell you about a man named Art Linkletter, someday.”

“Who?”

“Never mind. Not important now.” Shego took the time to enjoy a few more bites of her naco before speaking again. “Does it have to be ‘Mr. Sit Down’?”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing… except what happened that time Dr. D and I got pulled into that television dimension with you and Ron.” She shivered. “There was an unfortunate incident involving ‘Mr. Sit Down’.”

Kim’s eyes glinted and she stretched out a foot and gently stroked Shego’s leg beneath the table.

“Well, if you’re a good girl, maybe ‘Miss Go Down’ will visit you tonight.”

“Kimmie, it’s ‘Mr. Sit Down’, not ‘Miss Go D…” The words caught in her throat. She felt the heat of her own blush rising.

“… oh…”

“Want to ask me again if I’m ok?”

“Oh, I know you’re alright.” Shego used her napkin to wipe away a few drops of sweat that had nothing to do with the spicy food. “In fact, you’re amazing.”

“Please and thank you!”

To Be Continued…

Author’s Notes: Sorry, folks. The first chapter was a blatant red herring; I’d just watched both ‘Jeepers Creepers’ films back to back and just HAD to see how Team Possible might fare against the Creeper! Victor Salva’s work is being used without permission.