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HuntingForHappiness — Why I can't support the Day of Silence
Published: 2013-04-16 17:04:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 1969; Favourites: 20; Downloads: 2
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I’ve been informed that this Friday is the Day of Silence. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it is an event conceived by an LGBT rights organization called the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network(GLSEN). High school participants take a vow to not speak for an entire day to represent, and bring attention to, the silence that queer youth are forced into every day. Now. I think it’s great that we are involving youth in these kinds of awareness campaigns, and thereby facilitating valuable discourse about the plights of LGBT youth.And that is where my issue with the Day of Silence arises. I once participated in one of these events, back when I thought I was straight(all my friends were LGBT and I was an ally), and I observed something that didn’t occur to me as problematic until recently. People all over the continent, and possibly the world, are keeping quiet. They are not sharing their experiences, their thoughts, the problems they face, or the solutions they seek. We are told once again to stay silent; to not fight back; to be complacent in the fight for equality. The only difference is this time it is our allies who are silencing us.
The queer rights movement has for too long ignored the youth in the community, or made facile attempts at seeming supportive(take It Gets Better, for example), while directing all their attention to things like marriage equality, which is absolutely important, but not even close to the most important LGBT issue out there. And now, on this Day of Silence, the silencing of queer voices and ignoring of the real issues will take a tangible form.
So if you really want to help your LGBT friends, family, and fellow humans this Friday, or any day: speak the fuck up, and don’t let anyone stop you.
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Comments: 69
You couldn't have put better than you did. When I first learned of this day... I atught it made no sense at all. I mean... the whole world is discriminating you... and you stay quiet? It's not like Gandhi back in India, in which you had a non-violent non-cooperation. This is different: there's not supposed to be violence in the first place, but there definetly needs to be words and confrontation.
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I think you just described the reason for the day of silence without noticing it.
People do not notice the silence LGBT people face on a daily basis. So when one day people all across the nation stay quiet people notice, and they start asking questions. It ironically starts a conversation ...or controversy if you watch fox news.
Either way if you don't support it you can always support National Coming Out Day...that is quiet loud
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I have the same exact problem with the Day of Silence. Being silent is supposed to represent how others were silenced--but it's just showing passivity, if you ask me. The LGBT community is all about speaking out about the issues we face, and even that isn't always enough; silencing it, even for one day, is like taking a giant step backwards.
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I do believe that we as people must stand up for the rights of all, and that we should be speaking out, however by brining the torment we face daily to a tangible form, by willingly being silent, we show those who ignore us that the silence endures, so long as one voice is not heard, none of our's are. By banding together in willing silence, we make the magnitude of one voice become many. While shouting voices often disagree, silence is interpretive to personal ideas. Also I use the day as a time for meditation. But being silent forever will not end our struggle.
Satyagraha.
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Maybe. I do think an internal reflection is important as well, I wonder how many people use the day for meditation and thought the way you do. I guess I really just think that if the day of silence is going to be effective, it needs to be supplemented by a day in which we actually do talk about this stuff. Shouting voices may disagree, but at least we're being heard, and they will see that we refuse to be silent or complacent.
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Yes it is for the silenceing affect
but also for all the kids who killed them selfs for being bullyed being BGLTQ
like a moment of silence for those who were lost
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I think admitting that there is a problem and bringing awareness to it is the first step towards solving it. Yes, the day of silence doesn't give people a chance to speak up about the solutions, but it brings awareness to the reality of the problem. There are 364 other days to talk about the solution. As such, DOS certainly has an important place... it is simply one step to a much larger effort. For that reason, I support it.
In addition, sometimes silence is much more powerful than words. Lots of people will try to shout over someone else's shouting, but when the halls fall silent... that is something to pay attention to.
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I see what you mean, to an extent. But it is also easy to shout over silence. With the limited participation these things get, hallways won't be falling silent; the majority of people won't notice the silence. What people would notice is a day of discourse; admitting the problem, bringing awareness, and discussing solutions, all in one day. And with luck, these discussions will lead to more valuable talks on the other 364 days.
The DOS is definitely a step, I just am not sure it's in the right direction.
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Well, I guess we'll have to disagree on that point. I see your point as well, but I think that the fact that the day exists and so many people know about it is already a positive thing. It's something that anyone can participate in, gay, straight, bi, trans, and everything else and it brings awareness to a problem that many want to ignore. I support that, even if I'm not in school, so I can't participate, haha!
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There should be a Year of Shouting, or at least a year of Speaking Clearly and Loud Enough To Be Heard. My life was ruined by keeping silent. Rights must be taken when they are held back. This can be difficult for minorities in a culture that worships and caters to majority rule. [But truly we are ruled by a tiny but rich minority who cater to the masses.]
In this case, however, I can see that silence is a kind of speaking loudly about the repression.
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I totally agree that we need to speak, and shout, and take our rights back. I just think actually speaking loudly is a better form of communication than not speaking at all?
And, the other thing is... you said it yourself, being silent ruined your life. It bothers me to see silence encouraged and elevated as a way of empowerment, when the pressure to be silent is what got us into this mess.
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My silence occurred decades ago at a critical moment, and I've regretted it for nearly fifty years.
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Wow. I'm really sorry that happened to you. It occurs to me that I'm lucky to even live in a place and time where speaking up is a safe thing to do.
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I grew up in a time of extreme conformity that also included Commie witch hunting. It was a time of paranoia that was also ironically the most prosperous time of the twentieth century for this country. One might have thought they could be more generous to eccentric spirits, but I suppose the Cold War killed that chance.
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So you were a Communist at the time? It's definitely a shame that the Cold War caused so much hostility in America against communist ideology; I think the country would be a lot better if they'd adopted some of those ideas. Maybe we wouldn't have the 1% leeching off the rest of the country with the government's help, among many other issues.
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No, I wasn't a Communist. I wasn't even political. It was the Senator Joseph McCarthy era with the House Unamerican Activities Committee that started in the late forties, but poisoned the culture even beyond its own existence till the early-60s.
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I didn't even know a lot of that stuff happened. It's a shame that America was xenophobic enough to even have an Unamerican Activities Committee. That level of nationalism would make me nervous if it were happening now in my country.
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Now we just have 1 per cent of the population stealing from everybody else with the help of bought and paid for politicians.
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Yep. Have you watched The Young Turks? One of the guys who does it, Cenk Uygur, is a huge activist against money in politics, and corruption in general; I bet you'd like him.
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If it's not on broadcast tv, I don't see it. I might like him, might not. I'm too lazy to be an activist.
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Beautifully said! This deserves all my respects!
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Thank you! That means a lot.
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You are welcome.
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Wow. I never really thought of it that way. I'm moved I really am.
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Thank you! It's really great to hear that.
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You're welcome.
I love the technique with the belief and redefining. It's strong.
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I am personally in favor of the day of silence, but I understand your point. if you ask me, the speaking up should occur every other day of the year
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Definitely. The day of silence does address the problem of silencing queer voices, but it does nothing to holistically solve the problem. Being quiet for a day is easy, and makes straight people think they've done their bit for the movement; when in reality, we need our voice to be heard every single day.
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I agree, like most symbolic movements in reality all it is is non-productive symbolism (although freedom of expression is a thing)
which reminds me, my principal wants absolutely nothing to do with it
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That sucks that your principal doesn't want to do it. Not because I think it should happen, but because they're probably stopping it because of homophobia, rather than critical thought.
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he is stopping it only because he's worried about what the parents would say
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The idea behind the day of silence is not that, its that people learn what it feels like, and the duck tape we put on our mouths symbolizes it. Though I understand what you are saying, personally I think the day of silence should involve the silence and then in the afternoon/evening large rallies of spokes people, etc.
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Maybe for straight people, it could have the effect of teaching them what it feels like. But when LGBT students are the ones who are most encouraged to do this(which in my experience, they are), it is just reinforcing that silence, in an organized manner.
I do agree that if there was the aspect of actual speakers giving talks as a supplement to the whole thing, the whole thing would be a lot less problematic. I would probably even support it then; because we can not get anywhere if we don't use our words.
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Where I am I've always seen the straight being encouraged to do it. The GSA in my area encourages young people to take part, straight, homosexual, etc. And I helped them write a short speech for the school that explains everything well.
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That makes it a bit better. My school's GSA wasn't that great at all, which I'm sure didn't help the effort.
It makes me happy to hear that, even though I don't like the event, straight people are getting somewhat involved, and more so than the LGBT students. I think what's better is what you did; helping write a speech for the whole thing. Putting words to the silence, if it must happen, is the best thing you could've done for the day.
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I'm big about speeches and enjoy helping out.
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My participation in the Day of Silence is to make anti-LGBT groups and people uncomfortable.
They wish to silence gay rights? I will be silent with them.
You see, speaking out against them only fuels their fire. It makes them angry - makes them more resilient in their opinions. Being quiet, however, unnerves them. Their only reaction is to attempt to gain a reaction and then fail, prompting ridicule from their fellow students at being unable to get a participant in the Day of Silence to talk.
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I see what you are saying, but think of it this way, if you will:
They wish to silence gay rights? I will be silent for them. Silence is what they want, and for a day, they get it, even more than usual. I did this once, and literally the only effect it had was that homophobes could, and did, verbally and physically abuse us, because we couldn't fight back without breaking our vow.
Speaking out against them is the only way we can change peoples' minds. Maybe not everybody's minds, but when you speak out, you at least have the chance of reaching some people who will listen. I understand what you are saying, but I think it goes a lot deeper than that.
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I think a lot of the clash comes from the idea of passive resistance vs. aggressive resistance.
The Day of Silence is much like MLK's rallying. It's passive resistance designed to draw attention to the movement while at the same time disarming it - after all, what's so harmful about a bunch of quiet people? It makes the movement more appealing to the casual onlooker but also slows down the movement's advance and impedes success.
Your method of assisting the movement, with aggressive speeches and disseminating information, can be related to Malcolm X or the Black Panthers. Both were respectable civil rights leaders who brought attention to the movement, but at the same time they alienated many onlookers as their attention to the movement made it appear militant and aggressive.
In the end, whichever method you choose, the important thing is that you fight the good fight.
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I like that model of things. I'd definitely agree that I'm a bit more on the aggressive side of things; I'd rather not go through disempowerment to get to equality, when I can just skip to empowering myself and others as much as I can. Though I'd also say the day of silence isn't quite like MLK's rallying; it's a bit more... status-quo-preserving?
Still, you are right. Fighting the good fight is what it's all about.
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thank you for putting this into words i couldnt.
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You're very welcome! I think it's really important to always pay close attention to the message our activism sends, and it's good to hear that someone feels the same way.
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I always thought a good way to handle this would involve only speaking to people who weren't the problem (in the opinion of the speaker), but I dunno if that would work very well.
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Isn't that kind of preaching to the choir though? The people who need a talking-to are the ones who are the problem. Does that make sense?
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I meant completely ignoring the existence -of- the bigoted individual for a day. Ya know, showin' 'em how they is.
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That is an interesting approach actually. Showing them just how it feels to be ignored. And then the ones who ask later on what happened, you can explain it to them, and maybe, hopefully, some eyes will be opened.
I like the way you think.
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Yeah. That or ahead-of-time identifying the homophobes n' treating them like how they treats us for a day. Kinda like Saturnalia, but for bigotry?
And thanks for the compliment.
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I agree. They should be helping people speak out and not keep it in although I do find it a way of raising awareness for these people in an unharmful manner whereas people can get offended (which can't be helped sadly) if anything is said, if you get what I mean? I'm no good at explaining so you may not understand what i just said, sorry
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I get what you mean. On the other hand, we need people to be offended, because if we don't challenge their ways of thinking, they will never change. Offense is what happens when your opinion is questioned, and you think they might be right. We can only get so far by being polite.
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