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Picklesquidly [2012-06-20 16:36:43 +0000 UTC]

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Lets start out with the back ground. The background is very interesting, but you should color only one direction, for neatness sake. Also, if you look on the third panel, the slots between the feathers are uncolored.
the anatomy is very good in the first and second panel, but the last panel is not correct. Her legs seem to be at a wrong angle, and her wings aren't the proper shape of a bird's wings, and her paws aren't at a natural shape. Also, her neck seems to bit a little to long. Nevertheless, the third panel is nicely detailed. Her ears are perfect in shape and location.
The colouring and shading is well done, especially on the fur. But the coloring on the feathers seems a bit scribbly.
The outlines on the characters are O.K., but they could look more glowy.
The logo on the third panel is distracting and doesn't seem to fit.
The owl's shape is beautiful and very well done. Feather detail is very good. Also, the branch is well detailed.
In the first panel, Devin's expression is well defined.

The lead on this picture is very attention-grabbing. What the owl says makes you interested in what will happen next. The font is also well fitting.

Overall, this drawings is fairly good and has alot of good points.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

brambleface9 [2012-04-21 18:03:17 +0000 UTC]

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this doesn't look to bad. it looks very well colored and the anatomy looks good.the only thing i suggest is that you work on the wings. they look a little of position.

the background seems very well done. but is she flying of floating in air? cause it looks as if she is standing on ground. i would (if it was me drawing this) tilt her body upwards to show her flying.

the coloring looks really nice as well. may i ask what is with the "coming soon" at the end of the page.
the owl also looks well done. he has lots of detail! good job on the page! e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/>

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ARVEN92 [2012-04-21 17:43:30 +0000 UTC]

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I totally had to post a critique on this e.deviantart.net/emoticons/l/l… " width="19" height="19" alt="" title="La la la la"/>

This piece is amazing! I mean, the difference in style and layout setup with the old pages is striking.

First off, the most noticeable difference, is obviously the fact that it's coloured. Black and white comics are cool, but just look at how much bright and vivid it is now!
I also love the fact that you included a coloured background. I really felt the old pages were heavily lacking one. Varying background is important so the reader does not get bored by lots and lots of panels with a white scenario. This is so much better!

Now, on to the anatomy. Again, the improvement is really well visible here too. The wolf's face is really well done, and the fur texture is lovely.
I also love love LOVE the new eye style <3
Your previous one was also nice and very unique, but it lacked a bit of expression. The characters had the same expressions throughout the whole comic.
While look at this: not only did you add brows (which carry a LOT of expressions), but also, the eyes look realistic at the same time! The expressions are so much more meaningful now! The only anatomical mistakes I can see here (panel 3) are that the neck is a little too long, and the legs are a little too short. But aparts from that, it's very good!

I do have some issues with the wings though e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/>
The texture is lovely, I can see you put a lot of effort in colouring every single feather. Anyway, I feel like the wing structure is a little stiff, and not particularly suitable for flight. The base of the wing is too narrow, it would require a LOT of effort to take off this way. I suggest referencing from actual bird wings to see how they look and work. Keep in mind that the structure behind a wing is exactly the same structure behind a human arm, so if you are unsure which pose to draw the wing in, you can take a look at your own arm and see how it can bend and twist: a bird's wing works the same way! ^^

Last but not least, I totally congratulate with you on the layout. The page looks so clean with respect to the old ones! And the panels have enough space to "breathe" and show all their beauty e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/> So Kudos to you on that! <3 You're doing a great job, keep it up!

And I can't wait for more pages of Elements! <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

omniscientbongos [2012-04-21 14:36:31 +0000 UTC]

Overall

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact

I really like the vision in this, and the fact that you have a beautiful white wolf amidst this pretty space-like scene. Being a lover of the space-time-continuum, this is really cool! e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/>

There are some flaws in the anatomy, but let's get passed that for now. Your technique is pretty good, other than you can see the strokes from the marker/ whatever you used in this picture. I would suggest using watercolor if you do not want that effect. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/w/w… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Wink)"/> It's a really hard medium, but once you get it, you can do almost ANYTHING with it.

The concept of this piece is really original. So far, I have not seen anything like this in a comic before. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/> It's really cool.

The last little thing was this: I really like how you payed attention to the wolf's fur, and how it flows. That is a good quality for an artist. To pay attention to details. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/m/m… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title="Meow :3"/> The wings seem a little boxy though. Here are a few links to how to draw wings, which I think will help, and helped me when I was learning to draw wings.

[link]
[link]

And a nice bird stock website that might help too. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/>

[link]

Hope this helped! I'm looking forward to seeing more of this comic! e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/>

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Picklesquidly [2012-06-21 14:53:34 +0000 UTC]

question:
did you buy the 36 set copic markers? Because thats what I bought.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Picklesquidly [2012-06-20 16:25:28 +0000 UTC]

ohhh beautiful

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happyhorseshoe303 [2012-05-13 12:50:56 +0000 UTC]

the wings are definitely off and her nck is a bit long in the last one, but other than that very well done!

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Moni98 [2012-05-02 06:20:57 +0000 UTC]

wow! Such an improvement, they both look so realistic, great job

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CassMutt [2012-04-28 17:02:43 +0000 UTC]

Holy mother of improvement. Wow...this is amazing Halie. You have improved so much. I am so proud of you :')

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Aunchi [2012-04-22 16:26:33 +0000 UTC]

The colors are great, it really caught my attention! But, like others who commented, I have a problem with the wings. I'm pretty good at wings, seeing as I want to be an ornithologist, so here's what helps me with wings:

Like the others have said its good to reference from bird wings, like this [link]
Notice the primary and secondary feathers, and the covets that overlap them. Your wing was nothing but layers of feathers, kind of like a shingled house. To get a better image look at bat wings as well. A few tutorials I read usually just say "look at bird wings" but bats are a really good way to get the concept of wings. The bat wing has arms with "skin" for the wings. The fingers are a lot longer with the membrane connecting them. with birds, just think those are the largest feathers extending from the wing, and when the "fingers" stop you start secondary feathers.

Sorry for the ramble. Hope this helps though!

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