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Speed Paint: www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ErrdV…

A letter

I was nine years old when granny asked me to sit down and close my eyes just to open them again and see you for the very first time.
Carl, the white cat with one blue eye. You were mine but you lived at granny's place.
You seemed scared of me at first, but I loved you since the start.
I got up at five every morning when I was nine years old and slept at granny's place during the weekends.
I'd get out of the tiny wardrobe room where I slept to meet you and I fed you whipped eggs or whip cream in secret.

The outside world frightened you when you first got to see it but you'd overcome that fear and you became the new prince of the forest.
As a child of eleven years, I was very lonely. I barely had any friends in school and I felt like my classmates had formed a group that I wasn't welcome in.
I spent a lot of my school days drawing you, I even made a small comic at one point, and I'd write you letters that I didn't even know how to send you.
You were my best friend. You'd come into my room at night and sleep with me and in the evening when we were all gathered by the tv, we'd lay together in the couch, you and I.
You'd lay in my arms and I'd stroke you all over. Sometimes you'd fall asleep and sometimes I would.

Two years ago granny had to make the heartbreaking decision to put you down. You were just five years old, when she had to move and couldn't take you with her.
I didn't even get to say good bye or tell you how much you mean to me.
I didn't cry when she told me. We were at her new place and she had people over. It was as if I brushed it all away under a carpet, never daring to look back under it.
You kept visiting me in my dreams and when I woke up it was as if I'd forgotten that you are no longer here. I knew I had to deal with this somehow, the greatest loss of my life.
I knew I wanted to paint a picture in your memory just to put it up on my wall but for the first time ever, I felt as though I didn't have the skill to create an image good enough for my own satisfaction.

Two years later, I decided to give it a try.
And just for a second when drawing you, I almost felt as if I brought you back to life. For just that moment.
For two years I've been bottling these feelings up because I couldn't dare letting them in.
Painting this in your memory had me start dealing with this loss and many tears were shed during the process. I wish you were still with me.
I didn't paint you as a spirit or a ghost. I didn't even give you a halo or wings because in this very painting you will always be alive.

I'm sorry my visits became fewer, and I'm sorry that I didn't have the chance to see you for the last time.
But more importantly I wish to thank you for everything you gave me. Thank you for letting me into your life, for letting me love you and loving me in return.
You will always be in my memory.

Description
Twitter | tumblr | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Prints

Speed Paint: www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ErrdV…

A letter

I was nine years old when granny asked me to sit down and close my eyes just to open them again and see you for the very first time.
Carl, the white cat with one blue eye. You were mine but you lived at granny's place.
You seemed scared of me at first, but I loved you since the start.
I got up at five every morning when I was nine years old and slept at granny's place during the weekends.
I'd get out of the tiny wardrobe room where I slept to meet you and I fed you whipped eggs or whip cream in secret.

The outside world frightened you when you first got to see it but you'd overcome that fear and you became the new prince of the forest.
As a child of eleven years, I was very lonely. I barely had any friends in school and I felt like my classmates had formed a group that I wasn't welcome in.
I spent a lot of my school days drawing you, I even made a small comic at one point, and I'd write you letters that I didn't even know how to send you.
You were my best friend. You'd come into my room at night and sleep with me and in the evening when we were all gathered by the tv, we'd lay together in the couch, you and I.
You'd lay in my arms and I'd stroke you all over. Sometimes you'd fall asleep and sometimes I would.

Two years ago granny had to make the heartbreaking decision to put you down. You were just five years old, when she had to move and couldn't take you with her.
I didn't even get to say good bye or tell you how much you mean to me.
I didn't cry when she told me. We were at her new place and she had people over. It was as if I brushed it all away under a carpet, never daring to look back under it.
You kept visiting me in my dreams and when I woke up it was as if I'd forgotten that you are no longer here. I knew I had to deal with this somehow, the greatest loss of my life.
I knew I wanted to paint a picture in your memory just to put it up on my wall but for the first time ever, I felt as though I didn't have the skill to create an image good enough for my own satisfaction.

Two years later, I decided to give it a try.
And just for a second when drawing you, I almost felt as if I brought you back to life. For just that moment.
For two years I've been bottling these feelings up because I couldn't dare letting them in.
Painting this in your memory had me start dealing with this loss and many tears were shed during the process. I wish you were still with me.
I didn't paint you as a spirit or a ghost. I didn't even give you a halo or wings because in this very painting you will always be alive.

I'm sorry my visits became fewer, and I'm sorry that I didn't have the chance to see you for the last time.
But more importantly I wish to thank you for everything you gave me. Thank you for letting me into your life, for letting me love you and loving me in return.
You will always be in my memory.