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Ingested-Truth — dunno.....
Published: 2003-12-02 05:38:45 +0000 UTC; Views: 264; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 36
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Description
this is something i have been writting in all day..on and off...yup
its unfinished..soo yeah....
THANKS BAX FOR THE PREVIEW PIC!!!
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Comments: 16
It's choppy and has the same emo-like depth that seventeen billion other poems out there do.
Poorly written, keep trying, though.
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don't know why it's in scraps, this has a good flow. . .
what I mean it rolls smoothly. . . . .
Like ice.
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i dunno why its in scraps either...
i guess its cuz i put it in the unfinished catagory way back when....
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your writing style is so unique and inspiring! i love it! and this picture you drew to go with it is so cool... it's perfectly portraying the emotion and flow of the poem. keep it up; i'm watching!
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i love it! especially the last line
"Do not exist"
this piece really hits home for me. cant wait to see the finished result.
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this is great it made me wanna cry so it is really REALLY gravy!!
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i like your style.
the emotions i get from this poem feel all too familar.
"pen and paper
my turn for reflection"
i don't know what id do without that.
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I liked it, the first stanza seemed the best so far, and I love the line " screaming, im "sold"
the only hitch I see is in the flow in this line, "All in line for inspection" and this one, "is this my redemption?" they seem one syllable off for the rhythm. otherwise the first stanza flows brilliantly, and I love the internal rhyme.
Fantastic WIP, and I would love to see the final when its done.
-reg-
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WIP=work in progress...your welcome!
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I like it alot..good job I like the strong emotion in it too...cant wait for more
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I like it alot..good job I like the strong emotion in it too...cant wait for more
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-Pokes Jen with a stick- Can't wait for the full version, kid.
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*lies on the floor* Nice poem Ashton, flows smoothly...
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