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Inordinate — The Pilot
Published: 2005-11-12 13:25:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 161; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 2
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Description He who scans the skies to find
The shipwrecks that were left behind
In hollow tunnels through the clouds
With grey stained walls like furrowed brows

Will find the ghosts of pilots passed
Have ways of bringing back the past,
And who would scan the skies, take care –
The paths you walk may keep you there
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Comments: 7

killthemouse [2005-11-14 11:22:15 +0000 UTC]

This is gooood.... Have you seen Porko Rosso ? The poem reminds me of a beutiful scene from that where the dead WW1 fighter pilots all go up and form a massive collom of ghost planes in the sky.

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Inordinate In reply to killthemouse [2005-11-15 08:29:37 +0000 UTC]

I saw that film when I was like 8 or 9 .... I really don't think I got it, it kind of creeped me out. But since rediscovering who Hayao Miyazaki actually is, I've been meaning to check out his back catalogue again. Who knows, maybe Porco Rosso subconsciously influenced this poem ... you know, I wouldn't be surprised. . Thanks for the praise.

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GustavesRomance [2005-11-13 01:26:45 +0000 UTC]

Finally! 'Bout time, love.

Imaginative, and haunting.
I adore it.

The only thing that made me trip were the first two lines of the second stanza:
You ended the first line with the word 'passsed' and in the second, you ended the line with "past."
It's just a pet-peeve of mine, and it in no way distracts from the actual writing.

Very fine.



-Chella

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Inordinate In reply to GustavesRomance [2005-11-14 08:58:54 +0000 UTC]

Thanks. I know what you mean ... I did know they were two different words, I think it was kind of one of those cheap rhymes that no self-respecting poet should really dabble in, a there-they're or something like that. Well, in fact that's exactly what it is. A homonymal rhyme, or whatever it would be called. Thanks for taking me to task on it, and if I can find a way to fix it, I will. Thanks again.

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GustavesRomance In reply to Inordinate [2005-11-16 04:03:27 +0000 UTC]

Of course.



-Chella

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Finity [2005-11-12 14:42:25 +0000 UTC]

I love your eerie and vivd imagery so much!
How do you come up with this?

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Inordinate In reply to Finity [2005-11-12 14:49:09 +0000 UTC]

It's an elaborate process involving giant bores which drill into my subconscious and dig up giant wads of glittering treasure which I then display in deviant form for everybody's viewing pleasure! But seriously, I don't know. I don't even know how to categorise my imagery. Most often I just get a good title or line out of nowhere and build on it. In this case the title. Thanks though .

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