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Inordinate — Three Sentences
Published: 2005-11-17 02:33:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 130; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description Slithering quickly with his hands tied behind his back and the brittle chitin of his coat crackling endlessly in limerick phrases; a pause, dawn, the time that has come and worn itself out. The words you use if well chosen will speak another life to him that long he’s searched in hidden holes and riddle halls for likenesses of another passing fragment … coming back again to linger idly because you're wasting away at the edge of the world with your nitroglycerine handshake and your A-bomb smile and your
crisp
white
tuxedo.

And waking freshly from a dream you take to the skies in your bubblegum aeroplane and make me laugh again with pride at how your veins look good inside their ribbed and rippled laughter casing … the one that asks the questions rides the time to house himself in supple smiles and, glancing, slices slivers from the pain that grasps in liquid dreams and splits you down the seams,
you uncontrollable cutter, you.
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Comments: 4

killthemouse [2005-11-17 04:06:31 +0000 UTC]

Y'know... Adrienne Rich put prose into some of her poetry. Just sayin'.

Nevertheless, the dude up top said it abut pacing. The pacing is good. The words remind me of the Mars Volta. Which is the good kinda wanky writing.

Also: There's way too many words in the image for me to read.

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Inordinate In reply to killthemouse [2005-11-18 02:20:52 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, but Adrienne Rich ... well, she just sucks. Still, point taken, and the most I can say in my defence is that the last person I was trying to emulate in writing this was Adrienne Rich. I mean, the last person.

On the other hand, it does feel Mars Volta-ey, and I'm pretty sure I was listening to the Mars Volta while writing it. It's a nice little thing, mainly, as you say, for the way it runs together and forms a good flow, but it's not too deep in terms of content. At least not consciously.

Yeah the background of the pic is just the lyrics to I Am The Walrus with certain humorous words like "cornflake" and "pornographic" highlighted. A bit lame of me really, but it just felt like a fun thing to do.

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Finity [2005-11-17 03:58:51 +0000 UTC]

I think I need to re-read that, but I like the way it flows. Iffy on the content... explain?

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Inordinate In reply to Finity [2005-11-18 02:17:10 +0000 UTC]

I guess the content isn't really very explicable, not even by me ... funnily, rereading it now, I think the flow is one of the main points of the piece. I just liked the way it all sounded, the way it all came out. The words probably don't mean to much to me consciously.

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