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InsertDeviantName — Blood.
Published: 2008-08-13 19:18:41 +0000 UTC; Views: 257; Favourites: 7; Downloads: 1
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Description Dripping rapidly down your soft wet skin,
Flowing further down your subtle body,
Changing pace from diverting directions,
Covering all your limbs, covering your beauty,
This everlasting liquid, which is forever coming,
Asking yourself for mercy, for it to stop,
Wishing you could stop this torture,
Stop this pain,
Now progressing into rapid lengths of dark nothingness,
Sudden drowsiness throughout your body and mind,
You faint and death finally touches your soul,
The pain has now gone, no more feelings, no more hurt,
Darkness prevails yet again,
May you rest in peace.
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Comments: 9

Malandante [2008-08-15 15:50:47 +0000 UTC]

I am loving your work. It is absolutely beautiful.

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TimeFalcon [2008-08-13 23:49:16 +0000 UTC]

Whoa...very powerful! Good job.

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Klaymortia [2008-08-13 23:47:59 +0000 UTC]

I believe poems are meant to be read, understood and discussed, never criticed, because each poem has meaning.. emotions that should never be edited. I dunno.

I love this though, I usually don't read poetry because it brings back bad memories, but this one caught my eye, and its officially the first poem on DA that I have read, and will be faving. Good job ^___^

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InsertDeviantName In reply to Klaymortia [2008-08-13 23:57:11 +0000 UTC]

Through my time reading and writing on poems, I find it same with my other works. I usually write a poem then wait atleast 1-2 hours before posting it (the newer ones anyway), thinking about it, changing it, being my own critique. Making sure the grammer and words are right and fit.

I find it really helpful to have some hard, straight to the point critique, so I can improve and work on my mistakes.

Trying to progress so my work can be published.

Thanks for the comment and congratulations on your first poetry read on dA!

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seanpt [2008-08-13 21:12:29 +0000 UTC]

bluudddd nice work, it's a dark sounding piece for sure, not sure how to critique writing so i wont lol, it sounds pretty damn good to me tho

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InsertDeviantName In reply to seanpt [2008-08-13 21:27:39 +0000 UTC]

Hhe, thanks for great comment as usual. Please critique even if you don't know how to with writing, opinions count more than advance critique

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yumi08uchiha [2008-08-13 20:18:53 +0000 UTC]

beautifully written
as usual = )
loved it! you really are amazing ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

InsertDeviantName In reply to yumi08uchiha [2008-08-13 20:20:42 +0000 UTC]

Very kind words from a fellow poet. Thanks honey

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yumi08uchiha In reply to InsertDeviantName [2008-08-14 13:11:49 +0000 UTC]

you're welcome ^^

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