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Description
Love Interest

&%*#@$

“Fuck me with a spoon and call me Popo; what the fuck is this?!” Nana demanded, gesturing to the green liquid in front of her.

“It’s pea soup,” Popo replied carefully. “You ordered it yourself.”

“I don’t want this shit!” the pink ice climber yelled, jumping up on the table. Swinging her hammer like a golf club, she sent the foul-smelling bowl straight into the side of Marth’s head. The bowl shattered on impact and the Prince dropped to the floor, screaming in agony. “Get me something better!” Nana demanded.

Popo nodded and rushed to the buffet.

With a heavy sigh, the female mountain climber took her seat and waited for her bitch to return.

“Really?! Pit?!” Peach asked, giddy.

Zelda nodded in a smug way that only made Nana despise her more. “Yup, he gave Link a list of traits that define his perfect girlfriend, and I fit the bill perfectly.”

The ice climber whirled around in her seat. “Oh? Pit has a thing for ugly men who cross dress? I feel sorry for him.”

The Hylian’s eyes narrowed. “No, cretin, Pit enjoys a feminine, cultured woman who always knows what to say.”

“Right, a list of everything you aren’t, bitch queen. So, why are you bringing it up?”

Zelda smiled. “Aw, jealous that I’m better suited for your biggest crush? It must be sad to be set up to fail from the start.”

As Nana was about to reply with what would no doubt have been a witty comeback, Popo returned. “Um, I got you the she-crab soup. I hope you like it.”

The pink clad girl’s rage boiled over as she chucked the dish at Zelda. “This soup smells like vagina!”

The blue clad ice climber hid under the table. “I’m sorry! I didn’t know what you wanted!”

“Fuck! Why are you so hung up on soup today?! Do I need to kick your ass?! Do I?!”

Popo sobbed.

As the hormonal brawler was about to smash through the table, the brunette Princess’s chuckle redirected her anger. “You honestly think that you are worthy of an Angel when this is how you act? Face it, Nana, Pit could never love you!”

The female ice climber tackled Zelda to the floor and started to thoroughly pummel the poor Hylian. “What now, dick-lick?!”

&%*#@$

“It was the strangest thing,” Ike concluded, as he and Pit made their way down to the cafeteria.

“Well, he did respect your wishes to just stay friends, didn’t he?” the Angel asked.

The bluenette shrugged. “I think so… but there were days where I would wake up tied to my bed with my underwear down around my ankles.”

“Soren sounds like fun; you should invite him next Visitor’s Day,” the brunette suggested, pushing the door to the cafeteria open.

“Bitch! I’ll tear your tits off!”

“Run for your lives!” Roy shrieked, racing past the two swordsmen.

“What the fuck is that smell?!”

“I’m sorry!” Popo pleaded.

“Dumbass! Shit yourself, didn’t you?!”

“Oh, Gods! Don’t hurt me!”

Pit fluffed his wings in pleasure. “Now that’s what I’m talking about! Man she’s a dream.”

Ike watched as Nana shoved Popo through the crack under the door. “Or some nightmare that the mansion can’t seem to wake up from.”

“I think I’m in love. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman,” the Angel concluded with a dreamy sigh.

“Why don’t you go talk to her?”

“Ike! Please, who am I to think that I am worth of such perfection? She deserves better than I am able to give.”

“I guess that’s why asylums exist,” Ike concluded with a shrug. “Hey, Nana! Pit loves you!”

All noise in the dining room ceased as the girl slowly looked over her shoulder at the mercenary. “What?”

Pit bounced over to her side. “Um, yeah. You’re pretty nice, straightforward, and you know how to get your point across… It’s making me rock hard just to think about it.”

Nana avoided looking down at Pit’s skin-tight black shorts. “Wow… ah what the fuck! I love you too, Pit. I always have, and if you ever think about looking at Zelda, I’ll castrate you with my hammer.”

“Fine by me,” the young Angel concluded, pulling Nana into a passionate kiss.

(End)

Description
Love Interest

&%*#@$

“Fuck me with a spoon and call me Popo; what the fuck is this?!” Nana demanded, gesturing to the green liquid in front of her.

“It’s pea soup,” Popo replied carefully. “You ordered it yourself.”

“I don’t want this shit!” the pink ice climber yelled, jumping up on the table. Swinging her hammer like a golf club, she sent the foul-smelling bowl straight into the side of Marth’s head. The bowl shattered on impact and the Prince dropped to the floor, screaming in agony. “Get me something better!” Nana demanded.

Popo nodded and rushed to the buffet.

With a heavy sigh, the female mountain climber took her seat and waited for her bitch to return.

“Really?! Pit?!” Peach asked, giddy.

Zelda nodded in a smug way that only made Nana despise her more. “Yup, he gave Link a list of traits that define his perfect girlfriend, and I fit the bill perfectly.”

The ice climber whirled around in her seat. “Oh? Pit has a thing for ugly men who cross dress? I feel sorry for him.”

The Hylian’s eyes narrowed. “No, cretin, Pit enjoys a feminine, cultured woman who always knows what to say.”

“Right, a list of everything you aren’t, bitch queen. So, why are you bringing it up?”

Zelda smiled. “Aw, jealous that I’m better suited for your biggest crush? It must be sad to be set up to fail from the start.”

As Nana was about to reply with what would no doubt have been a witty comeback, Popo returned. “Um, I got you the she-crab soup. I hope you like it.”

The pink clad girl’s rage boiled over as she chucked the dish at Zelda. “This soup smells like vagina!”

The blue clad ice climber hid under the table. “I’m sorry! I didn’t know what you wanted!”

“Fuck! Why are you so hung up on soup today?! Do I need to kick your ass?! Do I?!”

Popo sobbed.

As the hormonal brawler was about to smash through the table, the brunette Princess’s chuckle redirected her anger. “You honestly think that you are worthy of an Angel when this is how you act? Face it, Nana, Pit could never love you!”

The female ice climber tackled Zelda to the floor and started to thoroughly pummel the poor Hylian. “What now, dick-lick?!”

&%*#@$

“It was the strangest thing,” Ike concluded, as he and Pit made their way down to the cafeteria.

“Well, he did respect your wishes to just stay friends, didn’t he?” the Angel asked.

The bluenette shrugged. “I think so… but there were days where I would wake up tied to my bed with my underwear down around my ankles.”

“Soren sounds like fun; you should invite him next Visitor’s Day,” the brunette suggested, pushing the door to the cafeteria open.

“Bitch! I’ll tear your tits off!”

“Run for your lives!” Roy shrieked, racing past the two swordsmen.

“What the fuck is that smell?!”

“I’m sorry!” Popo pleaded.

“Dumbass! Shit yourself, didn’t you?!”

“Oh, Gods! Don’t hurt me!”

Pit fluffed his wings in pleasure. “Now that’s what I’m talking about! Man she’s a dream.”

Ike watched as Nana shoved Popo through the crack under the door. “Or some nightmare that the mansion can’t seem to wake up from.”

“I think I’m in love. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman,” the Angel concluded with a dreamy sigh.

“Why don’t you go talk to her?”

“Ike! Please, who am I to think that I am worth of such perfection? She deserves better than I am able to give.”

“I guess that’s why asylums exist,” Ike concluded with a shrug. “Hey, Nana! Pit loves you!”

All noise in the dining room ceased as the girl slowly looked over her shoulder at the mercenary. “What?”

Pit bounced over to her side. “Um, yeah. You’re pretty nice, straightforward, and you know how to get your point across… It’s making me rock hard just to think about it.”

Nana avoided looking down at Pit’s skin-tight black shorts. “Wow… ah what the fuck! I love you too, Pit. I always have, and if you ever think about looking at Zelda, I’ll castrate you with my hammer.”

“Fine by me,” the young Angel concluded, pulling Nana into a passionate kiss.

(End)