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J4-Coltrain — .:Statistics:.

Published: 2012-03-07 20:53:39 +0000 UTC; Views: 323; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 4
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Description **warning this drabble contains some cussing.

the smaller lion silently propelled himself further down the darkened area. a sense of dread creeping down his spine. One of the few motivations keeping him going was stopping the creep they were following from killing again.

"Technically speaking.." he managed to whisper through his nerves. " if he DOES catch me following him, I happen to fit into his pattern, and judging on our profile he'd easily take me down."

"Technically speaking," the darker lion sarcastically retorted, "I'm here. and I can easily take this sicko. So don't go there."

Barely satisfied with the response received the choppy maned lion peered on in front of him, pinning back his ears.

"man, just wait. We're gonna catch this guy, and as far as I'm concerned he can kiss his ass good bye, because we are NOT going easy on this mother fucker."

"not that we'd really have a choice." the honey brown eyes continued to follow their suspect. "he won't go down with out a fight. and if we are correct, he won't be going alone."

He received a grunt of agreement from behind him as they silently moved on as the target did.

I do not own Criminal Minds/Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, thought I DO own their designs, so please don't touch them.
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Comments: 21

pencilcase1980 [2012-03-09 20:27:21 +0000 UTC]

wow, intresting!

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J4-Coltrain In reply to pencilcase1980 [2012-03-09 20:37:12 +0000 UTC]

thanks. ^^

love your icon.

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pencilcase1980 In reply to J4-Coltrain [2012-03-09 20:49:58 +0000 UTC]

I like yours too!

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J4-Coltrain In reply to pencilcase1980 [2012-03-09 20:54:02 +0000 UTC]

thanks!

didn't know you wrote fanfiction. Imma watch you so I can go through and read it!

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pencilcase1980 In reply to J4-Coltrain [2012-03-09 20:59:59 +0000 UTC]

yep.. fan fiction that i plan on editing or deleting... *sigh* YAY but I like people who watch me!! (sorry if you're not big on hugs... )

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J4-Coltrain In reply to pencilcase1980 [2012-03-09 21:01:22 +0000 UTC]

hugs make the world go round.

any particular reasoning behind the deleting/editing?

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pencilcase1980 In reply to J4-Coltrain [2012-03-09 21:07:01 +0000 UTC]

well in the thing, It's all like, I have a character who shouldn't be there... (AKA my oc) then Reid gets glass in hs leg and can't wal, but in the next 2 chapters he's walking and yet it hasn't even been a complete day... My fave ch is 11!! And then It just doesn't seem like criminal minds... and the book is like only 2 days long and it's 33 chapters....

(sorry for making you read stuff that you probably don't want to read... )

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J4-Coltrain In reply to pencilcase1980 [2012-03-09 21:10:14 +0000 UTC]

I see. Why don't you take your story line and edit out the improbable? add some creepiness factor and a case for them to work on. x3 the fun thing about this series is you CAN add in other characters, as long as it fits with the scene. :3

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pencilcase1980 In reply to J4-Coltrain [2012-03-09 21:19:37 +0000 UTC]

i dont know how...

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J4-Coltrain In reply to pencilcase1980 [2012-03-09 21:24:38 +0000 UTC]

I would suggest picking out the parts you KNOW you like, like the glass hurting Reid. (I'm a glutton for some torture, especially if he gets babied for it) and take out the parts you know don't make sense. (Reid walking)

take it down to the basic synopsis, and then build it back from there.

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pencilcase1980 In reply to J4-Coltrain [2012-03-09 21:59:49 +0000 UTC]

i just want to rewrite, I have so many other great ideas, but al my fans will hate me because they like it the way it is!

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J4-Coltrain In reply to pencilcase1980 [2012-03-09 22:08:49 +0000 UTC]

I say it's up to you. you can keep it, but edit out some of the things, or completely re write it.

editing in this case may be easier though. xD

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pencilcase1980 In reply to J4-Coltrain [2012-03-09 22:41:28 +0000 UTC]

can you read the 1st chapter and tell me if i should rewrite it or not? please! I don't know if i should or not... and i don't think I capture their personalities well enough and etc...

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J4-Coltrain In reply to pencilcase1980 [2012-03-09 23:04:40 +0000 UTC]

sure. ^^

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pencilcase1980 In reply to J4-Coltrain [2012-03-09 23:06:24 +0000 UTC]

YAY!

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J4-Coltrain In reply to pencilcase1980 [2012-03-09 23:20:10 +0000 UTC]

okay. It's VERY fast paced, with a lot of dialogue.

I would suggest adding more meat to it, like descriptions. I also dislike first person view in fiction, but thats your call as the writer.

I'm not sure I quite like Taylor, as you haven't described much where she's from and how she got to the BAU.

The way you had Spencer dislike her seems pretty accurate, as I believe he'd be the one to most outwardly show it, though the rest of the team would have some trust issues, letting some one new into their 'family'.

all in all, I quite like where its headed, but I'd like it to be a little fuller. ^^

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pencilcase1980 In reply to J4-Coltrain [2012-03-09 23:36:10 +0000 UTC]

YAY A CRITIQUE FOR ONCE!!! ^^

First of all, I need tp edit how i HAVE NO PARAGRAGHS! which I have been working on.. soo yeah... And I have wrote a 3rd person thing... if you want to read it, it's one of my best according to me, with PARAGRAPHS!

and awwe thanks!

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J4-Coltrain In reply to pencilcase1980 [2012-03-09 23:39:41 +0000 UTC]

indeed you do.

and I'd love to read it.

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pencilcase1980 In reply to J4-Coltrain [2012-03-09 23:42:04 +0000 UTC]

want me to send it to you in a note??

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J4-Coltrain In reply to pencilcase1980 [2012-03-10 01:05:07 +0000 UTC]

sure!

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pencilcase1980 In reply to J4-Coltrain [2012-03-10 01:11:03 +0000 UTC]

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