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Janus3003 β Skyrim Oddities: Housecarls
#calder #comic #dragonborn #funny #iona #lydia #silly #skyrim #jordis #argis #housecarl #elderscrolls
Published: 2016-07-09 04:07:55 +0000 UTC; Views: 9394; Favourites: 39; Downloads: 42
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What the heck is wrong with me?Previous:Β
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Comments: 52
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In my Skyrim, Lydia once went after a Slaughterfish...that I haven't even aggro'd! WHILE WE'RE GETTING OUR BUTTS KICKED BY TWO DRAGONS, A HORDE OF BANDITS, A GIANT, AND TWO MASTER VAMPIRES AND THEIR THRALLS. ...it was both ridiculous and also an epic battle.
until freaking Inigo aggro'd five mudcrabs...then...then it all went downhill very fast....
I never saw those darn things coming....
and then another time, she and Inigo both randomly turned against me. She is a bad influence on him....a very bad influence...
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*in my skyrim*Β
LYDIA STOP ATTACKING THE MUDCRAPS THE DRAGON IS THE BIGGER PROBLEM HERE
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You're lucky. My Lydia really enjoys standing in doorways. Usually for a very long time. Mumbling some philosophical shit about burdens.
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"I burden, therefore I am."
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Rayya is pretty normal I've never seen her do anything too odd other than she seems to have bed envy I find her often just staring at my bed when I come home to lakeview.Β Valdimar enjoys hiking a little too much he never stays in one place long, as for Gregor come to think of it I've never had him as a housecarl so I can't really say if he has any quirks
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As of panel #8, you have forced me to reevaluate you as a person, the verdict essentially being "AAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!"Β We are all more depraved for having seen it.Β Select parts of my body are retreating into my torso and fortifying for a siege while my screaming psyche lays down covering fire.Β It is utterly beyond my capacity to articulate my horror, for no dwarf in all of fantasy has delved so deep as to awaken such an abomination.Β I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
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Trust me, I judged myself when the idea first came to mind.
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Interestingly enough, that blank stare, flat tone and general expressionless state had made me decide a long time ago Iona too was Not Very Bright. Sometimes I think the Jarls were so eager to give the Dragonborn a Housecarl after relatively little because they all had a weirdo in their court that they were desperate to dump on somebody else before they were embarrassed any further.Β
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...welp, I'm officially in love with that idea, and I'm inclined to steal it.
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Well it would make a lot of sense in Julius's Skyrim. If you end up using it I'm happy to say I freely offered it and won't accuse you of theft.Β
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Well fortunately for Julius, Jordis will be kept at bay so long as he still has Excalibur.
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So Lydia plays with her food when nobody's looking. Β She'll also sit in that spot and eat bread while you're sleeping, alone or with your spouse. Β There's a Rule 34 pic depicting such a situation.
Lydia's a total pervert.
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Must be some pretty darn good bread.
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*giggle snort* But we wouldn't love our housecarls so much if they were boring!
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Yes, what is wrong with you?Β Too many waster blows to the head?
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Holy crap, Calder. Someone's being necromantic...
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Necromantic? I think it's gone way past that and into full on necrophilia.
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He's sure putting the "romantic" in there.
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Accept no substitutes.Β
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Flat bread not welcomed.
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To answer your question, many things and nothing at all at the same time. XD
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What's in that bread and can I have some?
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Housecarls aren't weird. They're . . . interesting.
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Guess that is more politically correct.
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Honor to you, my Thane.
Now that you mention it, the housecarls are a kooky bunch. Wonder if Balgruuf has to deal with this kind of weirdness from Irileth.
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Maybe. She's in a complicated relationship with a dragon, after all.
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Mudcrabs. Disgusting creatures. I stay well clear of them.
Good to see Calder's still sliding headlong down the slippery slope from "eccentric" to "scary as all heck." Presumably with his hands in the air and screaming "WHEEE" the whole way down.
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Followed by "AGAIN!" afterward.
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Iona is almost normal compared to most of the other housecarls. In at least one universe, she is one of the pillars of the Dragonborn's strength and sanity (Inigo is another).
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Yeah, she is. I've never really thought of anything to make Iona unique. All she's done so far is randomly fist fight a bear, meet Karliah, and wander into the bedroom while Julius and Lydia were cuddling.
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And despite her sitting there while you sleep, the Dark Brotherhood still snatches you away
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Don't judge unless you've tried that bread yourself.
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Oh boy 
But what about Rayya and Gregor and Valdimar?
(even though I don't know most of them, only huskarls I ever got are Rayya and Lydia)
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I dunno. Haven't interacted with them that much.
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Considering how deep any character in vanilla Skyrim is in the first place...
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CALDAR NO! lol
Wait, so what do the Hearthfire housecarls do, or are they normal people?
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