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Java-java — Phantom of the Opera Parody
Published: 2007-05-21 23:16:20 +0000 UTC; Views: 6468; Favourites: 31; Downloads: 11
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Phantom of the Opera ParodyAuctioneer: Old haunted theater crap? Let’s sell it to the general public!
Old Raul: This flashback/future event is really confusing me. I think I need to splurge on that creepy antique monkey. It’s on sale!
Old Meg: I’ll fight you for it! You wanna take this outside old man?
Old Raul: No! That piece of foreshadowing is a memoir of the dude who stole my girlfriend and tried to kill me! Gimme!
Old Meg: ‘kay. But only because you’re the one of the pitied bishounen of this movie.
Old Raul: Yay! And now I’m gonna retreat into my emo slump and stroke my monkey.
Monkey: Stop that.
Old Meg: How come we’re the only ones at this auction?
Auctioneer: Is it just me, or is it ironic that the object of your most painful memories is numbered 666? Any who…gentlemen!
Stagehand #1: Dude, I think the auctioneer just looked at me with his lazy eye…
Stagehand #2: Hey, aren’t we supposed to be revealing the creepy chandelier and starting the outrageously awesome music score or something?
Stagehand #1: Oh, right.
Chandelier: *SHINGSPARKLESPARKLE*
Old Raul: *OMGANGSTOVERLOAD*
Old Meg: *SHOCKGASPSTARE*
Andrew Lloyd Webber: Ha! My music score totally kicks your music score’s butt, John Williams.
John Williams: Whatev, hater!
Opera House: Yay! It’s like I get a brand new start at life!
Kid in Audience: Mommy, I see lots of nakee ladies!
POTO~~~
Actors: We’re running around like we have something important to do, but I mean, come on. We’re actors.
Buquet: Hmm, drunk actresses with too much stage make-up on? I think I’ll ogle them.
Actors: Seriously people, all of this is just busy work.
Carlotta: Well, I’m just a disaster from start to finish when it comes to fashion, but my singing makes up for it!
Maids: Argh….must…..stab out….eardrums…
Piangi: Oh look! I have a minime!
Piangi’s Minime: Dude, you suck at singing, and I don’t get paid enough to mock your every move like this.
LeFavre: Yo, my peeps. I’m tired of you all, so I’m off to Australia and leaving these two bumbling comic relief objects in my place.
Firmin: And look! We’re in cahoots with Christine’s old childhood flame! The irony!
Christine: *SWOONSHOCKOMGFAINT* well, I’m gorgeous, I can sing, and I’m constantly being stalked by dark mysterious figures, but I’m just sure Raul won’t remember me.
Meg: Oh, Christine, he’s a hunk! I especially like the greasy shine in his hair.
Audience: Seriously though, does he EVER wash his hair? Someone should invest in buying him some Garnier Fructis.
LeFavre: Look! Here are our terrible actors and actresses! They possibly might be the reason we have a masked terror running around here making judgments on our business managing…I mean *cough* you weren’t supposed to know about that yet……..
Director: Forget pompous business men; bring on the scantily clad dancing girls!
Firmin: Well, this new job just got a whole lot better.
Andre: Ooh, who’s that hot chick with the blonde hair?
Madame Giry: My daughter, you scumbag.
Andre: *cough* ANYwho…
Firmin: Oh and that other hot chick over there can’t possibly be related to you, right?
Madame Giry: … *GLAREGLAREGLARE* Stop hitting on my actresses! Now, to your right is a giant fake elephant. Pay no attention to the uncouth drunks loitering inside it; they pay good rent money to stay in there.
Carlotta: Look at me! Compliment me! Give me attention!!
*POUTGLAREHISSYFIT* Fine then. I’m outtie!
Andre: Time for me to lay on the sweet talk!
Carlotta: No! I’m never coming back!!! EVER!!!
Andre: Pretty please?
Carlotta: ‘kay.
Maids: Quick! Get the cotton out before it’s too late!
Carlotta: *HIGHNOTE*
Audience: *CRINGE*
Background Scenery: *SMACKDOWNWWFSTYLE*
Audience: *sigh* Finally!
Meg: And now for my extremely overused line: He’s here! The Phantom of the Opera!
Buquet: Hey, despite my history of alcoholic clumsiness, it wasn’t me. Must have been foreshadowing that did it.
Madame Giry: Look at this nifty and convenient letter I found!
Letter: Greetings! Just wanted to remind you that I hate you all, especially the new guys. I would appreciate if you would give me money to continue torturing and/or murdering you. Also, peel me a grape while you’re at it. P.S. My dark ominous capes are dirty so I’ll be needing the washing machine soon.
Andre: Stage equipment mysteriously crushing actors? Letters from masked men containing thinly veiled death threats? Meh. No biggie.
Carlotta: Hmph. No one cares for my injured dignity! Time to skedaddle.
LeFavre: Well, now you have a crazed ghost on the loose, and you have no lead actress. Hmmm….toodleloo!
Firmin: Well, crap.
Christine: I can sing it! And, y’know, there’s no need to know who taught me…let’s just keep that on the down low.
Andre: Good enough for me.
Christine: *LALALASINGSINGLADEEDA*
Everyone else: *OMGOPENMOUTH*
Fans: And now the self esteem of every girl in the audience has just dropped about fifteen points.
Raul: Ooh, baby! I’m thinking of YOU right now…
POTO~~~
Audience: Man, seriously, too much PDA backstage.
Christine: Hmmm….I’m hearing voices…that’s totally normal.
Meg: Hi! Time for me to barge in on your personal space! If you only knew how insanely jealous I am of you. I imagine you and me switching bodies so I could be you and have your talents….your talents for my own!!!! MUAHAHAHA! My evil plan is coming together nicely!! BWAHAH-…..*ahem*….. so, uhh who taught you to sing?
Christine: Well, let me tell you my life story! It’s chock full of angst and foreshadowing.
Audience: The phantom was in her dreams when she was a kid and always watched her? This could turn into a lawsuit.
Christine: Blah blah blah angel watching me yada yada yada father on deathbed blah blah blah… and then my father told me how I had a stalker that would always follow me, and then he died. The end!
Meg: ZzZzZz…Wha?
POTO~~~
Buquet: Why do I constantly watch beautiful girls from high above in the rafters? Hmm…maybe alcohol will solve this dilemma! Bottoms up!
Madame Giry: Here, let me shut you in this room. Oh. And don’t forget to put your foreshadowing in a vase filled with water.
Raul: Wazzup.
Christine: I’ve been visited by the angel of music!
Raul: what did you do since I’ve seen you last, join a cult? Meh. I’ll buy whatever you say if it gives me a shot at a future smooch.
Christine: But the angel of music is very strict!
Raul: Whatever. You have exactly two minutes to change out of your outrageously voluminous dress. I’ll time you!
Madame Giry: What phantom? What key? I don’t see anyone locking any doors at all.
Christine: Candles blowing out on their own with foreboding background music…this could end badly.
Phantom: Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3, testing…Oh! Hi honey buns!
Christine: *UBERSHOCK*
Phantom: You know, you really should break up with Raul. He is so not right for you. I mean, did you see his outfit? So last century.
Christine: Oh yeah, sorry bout that. Come out, come out wherever you are…!
Phantom: Just walk through the CGI fog up to the mirror! I’m watching you through it.
Mirror: Woohoo! I’m a tool for spying on people.
Christine: *DAZEDSTARE*
Phantom: *SNATCHGIRL*
Wall Candelabras: Don’t mind us. We’ll just move out of your way.
Phantom: Even though this mask covers half my face, I’m still ridiculously good looking.
Fangirls: We love you Gerard!!! *SQUEE*
Phantom: Here’s the plan: get on this horse so you can ride it for ten feet, then get off and get into this boat!
Christine: ‘kay. I’m too dazed by your hotness to do much else, anyway.
Horse: You’re just gonna leave me here? I feel so unloved.
POTO~~~
Phantom: Welcome to my emo cave! Do you like the décor?
Audience: His cave is a serious fire hazard with all those open flames. Emo cave code requires at least one fire extinguisher per giant candelabra.
Christine: What’s that smell?
Phantom: Oh, just the raw sewage I’m rowing through right now. But don’t think about that, sing!
Christine: Okey dokey.
Phantom: You’re here for one purpose and one alone.
Christine: I’m not that kinda girl!
Phantom: No, dummy, you’re here for musical purposes!
Christine: Oh, well in that case.
Phantom: Now listen as I try unsuccessfully to sing high notes while simultaneously whining to you about how desperate I am for a woman.
Fans: It’s got to get pretty lonely down in his emo cave. Only a girl like Christine would jump at the thought of sewage filled catacombs and the whole no-sunlight deal.
Christine: All this needy clinginess directed towards me is overwhelming. *FAINT*.
Phantom: How convenient! Now I’ll take you to my equally convenient bed over yonder. Nothing disturbing about this at all.
Audience: *COLLECTIVESHUDDER*
Meg: And now for the part of the nosy and curious best friend to be played by yours truly!
Madame Giry: *SNEAKATTACK*
Meg: Oh, fancy meeting you here in this dimly lit secret passageway. Do you come here often?
Madame Giry: Shh! That plot point has to be saved till later!
POTO~~~
Buquet: I am drunk! Hear me roar!
Actresses: Ooh! Tell us about how Captain Jack got off the island!
Buquet: Well, he roped a couple of-
Madame Giry: Shut up!
Buquet: Fun sucker.
Madame Giry: Blah blah blah keep your hands at the level of your eyes yada yada yada…
Buquet: Well, that foreshadowing seemed more directed towards me than usual. Oh well, I’ll go see if I can find the answers to all of life’s questions at the bottom of a shot glass!
POTO~~~
Christine: Well, this is new. I think I’ll put all of my thoughts into song form.
Phantom: Plumcakes! You’re up! I made waffles.
Christine: Nice Mask! *YOINK*
Phantom: Nooooo! I have a zit!!!
Christine: Suddenly, I wish I would have rethought my recent life choices.
Phantom: You’re hot, I forgive you.
POTO~~~
Firmin: It’s my time to shiiine!
Andre: Actually, this whole scene is just transitional comic relief after the serious business of the last scene.
Firmin: Drat.
Madame Giry: Check it out, I found some foreshadowing!
Letter: Dear idiots, Here’s the dealio. Make my girlfriend the star of the show and kick Carlotta to the curb. If you don’t, I shall write even more angry letters to you and express more pompous attitude of how I’m better than you. Oh, and certain doom will come upon you also. Love, Phantom.
Carlotta: Why can’t the crazed bishounen want to stalk ME instead of Christine? It’s not fair, dang it!
Actor in second story: *MOONOUTEARLY*
Carlotta: *TOOSELFABSORBEDTONOTICE*
Andre: I vote we totally ignore the phantom’s orders just so she’ll shut up.
Firmin: I second that motion! PRIIIIIMA DONAAA…
Audience: Oh, spare us… *HEADSLAM*
Pink Dress: Attack from above!
Carlotta: Hmm…I have the strangest neck pain…It couldn’t possibly be from this fifteen pound wig!
Phantom: *BOTTLESNATCH* The ol’ switcharoo!
Audience watching Opera: Could this play be any more obscene? The girl on girl action is pretty riskay for the 1800’s.
Phantom: Well, this portable microphone definitely comes in handy when you’re threatening large groups of people in an enormous room.
Andre: We shoulda seen this coming.
Phantom: That guy with the unusually dirty hair stole my assigned seat!
Carlotta: Oh who CARES. Let’s all focus on ME!
Carlotta’s Minion: Here, let me spray some career shattering humiliation into your mouth before you go back onstage.
Carlotta: La dee da dee- CROAK.
Audience watching the Opera: Someone suffering immense embarrassment? This amuses us!
Firmin: Uhh, ladies and gentlemen, we’re sorry our play is sucky, so you can watch girls in frilly ballet outfits herd sheep until we figure out what to do with this disaster of a show. Oh and don’t panic if you see a gruesome death occur onstage, it’s the norm around these parts.
Buquet: Time to search diligently for my impending doom!
Phantom: I’m cranky. I need an expendable character to brutally murder.
Buquet: Crap! I’M an expendable character!
Phantom: *PURSUIT*
Buquet: *FLEE*
Phantom: *CHASE*
Buquet: *RUNAWAY*
Ballerina: *TWIRL*
Music Score: *SUSPENSE*
Sheep: Now this is just getting annoying.
Buquet: Climbing on all these precarious objects with a crazed main character trying to kill me makes me really wish I were sober right now…
Phantom: Surprise! I’m not really trying to kill you, I’m just putting this rope around your neck so I can take you for a walk!
Buquet: Oh, good. I’m so reliev- *DIES*
Phantom: Psych!
Andre: Well, this is inconvenient.
Phantom: I hate to say I told you so.
POTO~~~
Christine: Some poor extra died! We should go up on the roof and make out.
Raul: There is no phantom of the opera! Either that, or I’m just really discouraged at the idea of competition for your love.
Christine: No really! I saw his deformed face! It was icky. But, even so, I’ve got the hots for his musical talent.
Raul: Well, crap.
Phantom: *EAVESDROP* Oh yeah, she digs me.
Raul: Forget him! My hair rocks harder than his hair, anyway.
Christine: Why is it that whenever a guy serenades me, I give in to it unconditionally?
Phantom: Non-existent-but-still-hoped-for love life…..shattering…..
Christine: Raul, tell me you love me, right now!
Raul: ‘kay. *SMOOCHIE*
Phantom: Angst attack!
Raul: Lets kiss some more and sing louder just in case any stalkers hanging around here can’t hear us very well. *SMOOCHAGAIN*
Phantom: *EMOTEAR*
Christine: Okay, we’ve skyrocketed the angst count enough. We should go.
Phantom: She didn’t like the flower I bought her! *CRUSH*
Flower: …ouch…
Phantom: Oh sob, oh cry. Boohoo and various other self pity. Maybe if I climb on that horse statue and sing my troubles, everyone else will pity me too!
Audience: Doesn’t anyone notice the dark caped figure running around on the rooftops?
POTO~~~
Director: And now, on a less sadistic and revengeful note, lets par-tay!!!
Andre: Costume parties fix any problem!
Christine: Raul, I love you and want to marry you, but I don’t want anyone at the country club to know about it.
Raul: Don’t worry! This outfit that I stole from Beast after he was de-beasted will calm you down.
Christine: Oh you’re right it does ma-
Phantom: Yo
Christine: *HYPERVENTALIZATION*
Gold people: We spent hours on this make-up just for Phantom to crash the party? That’s so uncalled for.
Raul: I’m not fleeing…really I’m not.
Phantom: Isn’t my new mask fabulous? I don’t have to use double stick tape for this one like I do on my other one.
Christine: Here I go being mesmerized by a singing male again…
Phantom: What? You’re wearing a ring on a necklace?! That’s impractical! *JEWELTHEIF* Go-go Phantom escape hole!!
Raul: See? I just went to get my sword! Hi-ho Raul, Awaaay! *LEAPINTODARKHOLETOFOLLOWARCHNEMESIS*
Phantom: Now you see me, now you don’t! Muahahahaha!
Madame Giry: I’ve really got to kick this bad habit of sneaking up on people in various creepy situations.
Raul: Tell me a story, Auntie Giry!
Madame Giry: Uh oh, I think I feel a really big flashback coming on…where’s the Advil?
POTO~~~
Ballerinas: So, we’re young, scared little girls, and they decided to take us to see disturbing freaks perform for money? Who plans these field trips?!
Bearded Lady: Does anybody have a Venus I can borrow?
Young Madame Giry: Hmmm, I wonder where I can find an angst ridden, potential villain to rescue…
Creepy Carnie: Come watch me beat a small child!
Young Madame Giry: Perfect!
Young Phantom: *sigh* How I wish Nintendos were invented by now.
Creepy Carnie: *SHMACKSHMACKSHMACKITYSHMACK*
Young Phantom: Could you work on my glutes next time? They’ve been looking a little gooey lately.
Spectators: A deformed child suffering intense physical and emotional abuse? This amuses us!
Young Phantom: Lucky this rope was just lying here waiting to be used as a homicidal weapon.
Young Madame Giry: Lucky I was here to witness this revengeful murder in order to develop the plot.
Creepy Carnie: Lucky I was- oh. Well, this is depressing.
Mob member #1: Let me see…it was…the Phantom, in the cage, with the rope! I win!
Mob member#2: Quick! Don’t let the foreshadowing escape!
Madame Giry: So, the moral of the story is that it’s all my fault that your girlfriend is being stalked by a crazy man.
Audience: She just HAD to be the Good Samaritan and rescue the deranged psychopath, didn’t she?
POTO~~~
Old Raul: Hi! It’s me! Just checking in randomly to make sure the plot wasn’t dragging. Bye again!
Christine: I’m bored. Time to go seek out a dangerous situation that will eventually lead to a suspenseful, well choreographed swordfight!
Carriage Driver: Where to, ma’am?
Christine: Any place that’s depressing, slightly creepy, and with no other people around for miles will do just fine.
Carriage Driver: The cemetery of your deceased father?
Christine: Sure! And let’s wait till it’s snowing outside, just for kicks.
Phantom: *THWACK* Nighty night!
Carriage Driver: How rude! *UNCONCIOUS*
Raul: ZzZz- wha? Raul senses….tingling… Christine’s in danger!
Audience: This comes as a surprise to him?
Christine: You don’t happen to be a homicidal killer, do you, Mr. Carriage driver?
Phantom: …No….*TWITCH*…of course not…*TWITCHTWITCH*
Christine: Well, okay then.
Raul: *TOTHERESCUE*
White Horse: This heroic journey would be so much easier if you would just STOP KICKING ME IN THE SIDES.
Raul: Shush! You’re taking the focus off of the wind blowing through my hair!
POTO~~~
Christine: Hum dum dee do….angst, angst, angsity, angst….
Audience: Aren’t her boobs cold in that revealing V-neck? Trust Christine to leave home without a sweater.
Phantom: Who’s your daddy?!
Christine: You are!
Phantom: …….um, okay……
Raul: No, Christine! Don’t go into that tomb! It’s highly unsanitary!
Phantom: Boo! Didja miss me?
Raul: *SLASHCLANGSWINGSWASHBUCKLE*
Phantom: *CLANGSWISHSHMACKSWORDFIGHT*
Christine: Yay! Two hot guys fighting over me!
Raul: *CLANKSWIS- I just have to know where you got your cape.
Phantom: *SWINGCLASHCLAN- Oh, this old thing? I got it off of E-Bay!
Raul: No. Way. I’ve been dying to find a cape like that in my size!
Phantom: Seriously? I know how you feel! It’s so ha-
Christine: *AHEM* I said; TWO.HOT.GUYS.FIGHTING.OVER.ME.
Raul: …
Phantom: *shrug*
Raul: *CLANGSLASHSTAB*
Phantom: *STABBITYSLASHCLANG*
Christine: Okay! You can stop now.
Raul: But, Shmooky Poo…I wanna murder him right now!! *POUT*
Phantom: Note to self: Take merciless revenge upon Goody-two-shoes Raul after tanning salon appointment.
POTO~~~
Raul: Think, think, think…..think, think, think…..how to capture killer mastermind that has already outsmarted my three brain cells numerous times?
Andre: *HUFFHUFF* Ugh, can’t we SIT DOWN while we plot revenge instead of walking around and singing it out loud? My feetsies hurt. *HUFFHUFF*
Raul: I’ve got it! I’ll send my girlfriend as bait into a situation that I, a grown man, wouldn’t go into myself!
Firmin: Brilliant!
Soldiers: We better be getting paid overtime for this.
Christine: Oh Raul, I’m emo!
Raul: *HUGGLE* Don’t despair! Only all of our hopes and any chance of future happiness rests on you. No pressure.
POTO~~~
Phantom: Oh I hope they like my opera! I just don’t think I could handle that kind of rejection if they didn’t.
Audience watching Opera: What the…? This opera is totally pointless and random.
Phantom: At least until yours truly comes onstage!
Fans: Why doesn’t anyone seem to notice that, all of a sudden, Don Juan dropped some poundage and became outrageously handsome? These are life’s unsolved mysteries.
Phantom: Oh, hi Christine! I’m so nervous. It’s my first performance on stage! Does this mask make me look fat?
Madame Giry: Hi, Phanty honey! Do your best! *sigh* My little Phantom, all grown up and…*sniff* molesting young sopranos…*dabtear*. They become evil so fast!
Christine: Excuse me while I pause to yank up the sleeves on my extremely revealing dress. *YANK*…..No, seriously though, does anyone have a bobby pin I could use?
Director: Hey, we had to do something to appeal to the teenage boys in the audience.
Phantom: Come stay with me in a dark hole of angst forever!
Christine: Hmm…dark hole of angst…or…hot guy with greasy hair…dilemmas, dilemmas…
Phantom: Aww, come on, please? I’ll be your best friend!
Christine: Well, you know me, I can’t resist any male that happens to be serenading me at any given moment.
Phantom: Score!
Raul: Wait…this wasn’t according to plan!
Phantom: *MOLEST*
Christine: *MOLEST*
Audience: *VOMIT*
Raul: And I’ll just sit here and do nothing as my girlfriend is being stolen by another man in front of my very eyes.
Phantom: Saaay you’ll shaaare with me one looove, one liiiifetiiime….
Christine: Hey! That’s plagiarism! *MASKBEGONE*
Audience: Y’know, he really should just duct tape that mask to his face.
Phantom: And suddenly, I’m a blonde! Good thing the only rope holding up this massive chandelier was right here for me to vent my wrath upon. *WHACK*
Chandelier: I’m freee! Oh, wait…this is bad. *CRASHFLAME* Look out, extras!
Extras: AAIEEEEE!!!!!! If only we’d gone to that new casual dining restaurant down the street instead!
Opera House: Well, this’ll sting in the morning.
Raul: What would Spiderman do in a situation like this?
Spiderman: Go get your girlfriend back, you idiot! And then take a shower. Please. For all of us.
Piangi: *KICKEDBUCKET*
Carlotta: What is this strange feeling that’s making me leak out of my eyes? Could it be concern for another human being besides myself…? Nah. I just need to take more vitamins.
POTO~~~
Christine: Lucky we had cold, hard stone to break our fall through that trap door.
Phantom: Ahh. Cave, sweet Cave! Now, put on this wedding veil and tell me why none of the other kids ever wanted to play with me in elementary school!
Christine: One: You’re a jerk. Two: You seem to have an obsession with relentlessly lashing out in homicidal rages.
POTO~~~
Raul: *whistle* Yeah, so my girlfriend is only abducted by an evil freak, no rush.
Trap Door: Welcome to Trap Door Air. Make sure to keep all of your arms and legs inside the door until you come to a completely hopeless Indiana-Jones-style situation. And don’t forget to shriek in terror on your way down.
Raul: Noo!! Anything but water!!!!
Raul’s Hair: I’m thinking this is the only washing I’ll be getting anytime soon.
Gate: *DESCENT*
Music Score: *EMO*
Raul: Arrgh…must….turn…conveniently placed……wheel…
POTO~~~
Christine: Um…can I go now?
Phantom: It’s my face, isn’t it?! When will I ever be good enough for you?!!?! *PMS*
Raul: Hi! Did I miss the party- I mean…Let my love interest go!
Phantom: Actually, the party started when you got here!! Time for a sadistic choice! *ROPETIE*
Raul: Not a rope that will cut off my circulation, air supply, and break my neck! That’s my one weakness!!
Christine: *sigh* It’s always the woman’s job to fix problems during a relationship, isn’t it? Fine…Maybe my singing will save my rugged hottie!
Phantom: Why don’t we all join in and make it a trio?
Christine: Oh no! Not TWO singing males!! Which one do I succumb to beyond all doubt? This really sucks.
Random Announcer: So Bachelorette, which one will it be? Will it be Bachelor Number One who is currently choking…
Raul: *SPUTTERGURGLECOUGHWHEEZE*
Random Announcer: Or will it be Bachelor Number Two who is a deformed, mentally inept psycho?
Phantom: *NERVOUSTWITCH*
Christine: umm……..uhh….
Phantom: We can’t wait around all day…*JEOPARDYTHEME*
Raul: Take your time! Not like anyone’s terminally choking or anything…*MEANINGFULCOUGH*
Christine: uhh….well…hmm…ahh…um……Reverse Psychology!!! *SMOOCHIE*
Phantom: *GASPSHOCKOMGWHOA* A….girl……just…..kissed me…..eww!!! Cooties!!! Just leave me alone and take Raul, for goodness sake.
Christine: Yay!
Raul: Uhh….Still dying over here…..
POTO~~~
Phantom: Monkey, you are my only comfort now.
Christine: Isn’t it nifty how my breathing really draws the focus straight to my boobs?
Phantom: Christine, I heart you!
Christine: Um, yeah, about that….this is really awkward, but….there’s….. someone else.
Audience: The phantom’s a bit thick in the head, isn’t he?
Christine: Anyways, here’s a wonderful consolation prize. Ta ta!
Phantom: Whole….purpose….for life…shattered….kinda like my mirrors! *SMASHSMASHDISAPPEARINASYMBOLICFASHION*
Meg: Well, imagine that, he left when he found out he was being pursued. I say we break for lunch, people!
POTO~~~
Old Raul: I’m old again! And this black and white thing is really making my allergies act up. Wait…why did I come here again?
Nurse: To sum up the whole story in an emo, yet emotionally fulfilling way so that the viewers can feel free to imagine the possibilities that can occur with the general, and open ending they are left with.
Raul: Oh, right, what she said.
Comments: 26
Have you even the slighest idea how incredibly hilarious this was? And I'm hard to impress. *gives you a cookie*
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Lol it's like a modern-day Phantom of the Opera XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Would at least one person agree with me when I say that this sums up the movie PERFECTLY? Not that I dislike the POTO movie, but there are some things that just don't make sense, and I think you exploited just about all of them in a very hilarious manner!
Furthermore, some of these lines sum up that particular scene so perfectly that none of the other lines are necessary~
LeFavre: Yo, my peeps. I’m tired of you all, so I’m off to Australia and leaving these two bumbling comic relief objects in my place.
Buquet: I am drunk! Hear me roar!
Andre: I vote we totally ignore the phantom’s orders just so she’ll shut up.
Audience watching the Opera: Someone suffering immense embarrassment? This amuses us!
Phantom: Yo
Old Raul: Hi! It’s me! Just checking in randomly to make sure the plot wasn’t dragging. Bye again!
Phantom: *GASPSHOCKOMGWHOA* A….girl……just…..kissed me…..eww!!! Cooties!!! Just leave me alone and take Raul, for goodness sake.
... Yeah. 1,000/5 on this.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
this goes against everything i believe in...BUT ITS SO FREAKIN FUNNY!!!!
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XDDDDDDD sooo funnnnny... *chucklemadgiggle* now my whole family is staring at me because it would appear that I am laughing at nothing...
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*finally comments*
Yay! Lol, this is even more awesome this 5565th time reading it.
Letter: Greetings! Just wanted to remind you that I hate you all, especially the new guys. I would appreciate if you would give me money to continue torturing and/or murdering you. Also, peel me a grape while you’re at it. P.S. My dark ominous capes are dirty so I’ll be needing the washing machine soon. 
And also:
so, yesh, this was written by yours truly with many helps from Duality-Duo (who is awesome and has an awesome dev account )
Don't lie, lying liar.
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Most. Awesome. Parody. Ever.
Seriously this is probably the funniest thing i've seen in a loong time, LOL!
I loved these most, i think:
"Letter: Dear idiots, Here’s the dealio. Make my girlfriend the star of the show and kick Carlotta to the curb. If you don’t, I shall write even more angry letters to you and express more pompous attitude of how I’m better than you. Oh, and certain doom will come upon you also. Love, Phantom."
"Chandelier: I’m freee! Oh, wait…this is bad. *CRASHFLAME* Look out, extras!"
Pure genius.
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wow, thnx!!!!!
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I didn't merely enjoy it, I bathed in its splendor and recommended it to other Phans lol. 'tis amazing.
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lol!!! Phans....XD that's so awesome
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it's easier than Phantom Fans.
Phantom + Fans = Phans.
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Hilarious!
Haha....I searched for "jerry the frog productions" and I got this!
Lucky me!
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awesome!!! i'm glad you found my insanity. 
(love your signature!!!)
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Yes, I'm glad I find your insanity also, as well, too.
...and yes, my signature is quite awesome.
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oh!! about the jerry the frog website.....the girl who started it, lynxgriffin, closed it down a while ago.... *emotear* !!!
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Oh, yah.
And that's really bad because Pirates and Harry Potter came/will come out right after she decided to close down the site. *emotear, also, as well, too, but wipes it away before anyone notices*
...and I've always thought that a male was writing those stories...
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I know!! who's gonna make a big joke out of all the newest movies now?
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So...I guess the new movies are practically useless (in an omgthatmoviewaskoolbutitwouldbesomuchlik eomgkoolerifsomeonemadesomekindofpuppets howparodyoutofityknowwutimean? kind of way, yknow....generally.)
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lolol!!!! exactly! *sigh* sad day, isn't it?
you know, that was a run on sentence!! Miss manners would not approve. 
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I'd apologize to Miss Manners, but somehow, I think that "she" is just a metaphor for the people in society who frown upon ill-mannered people...like me.
I just realized that I'm a disappointment to my society.
Kool!
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I don't know...
Ben Stiller?
Ha ha ha...yea, that wasn't funny.
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That was amazing. I'm gonna go laugh my ass off now. :3
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