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Published: 2006-02-20 18:50:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 285; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 8
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Chapter 1: Miss YouAfter three years of waiting, hoping against hope, Tsuru was dealt with the devastating blow. His dear little brother Tao Pai Pai was gone.
Now after licking his wounds from the recent betrayal of his two prized pupils, Tsuru was alone. His once grand school was empty as the other students had lost heart when they heard that their colleague Tien had abandoned them, and they too took their leave. Their Master's mood didn't help matters either as he went from blind fury to indifference and back again, whipping his students until they could barely stand.
The Crane Master got the peace he wanted, away from the world. Still, a listlessness lingered in his heart as he treaded the school grounds. Often he caught himself staring off into the distance, searching.
In his aimless stupor, he somehow managed to make his way to the Shinzui Bridge which spanned the great Berugu River. A faint smile appeared on Tsuru's impassive features as he recalled that this was where he and his brother played together so long ago. There was the great sakura tree they climbed.
A gentle breeze set the branches in motion and a lone delicate blossom fell into Tsuru's hands. A tear trickled down his face as he fingered its petals. It was Pai Pai's favorite flower.
He gazed up at the tree and could have sworn he saw his brother's face among the blossoms and could almost hear his laughter.
Overwhelmed, he sat down upon the planks of the bridge, covering his ears and closing his eyes. The pain. He couldn't bear it.
For several minutes he sat, shutting out the world. But one could not remain this way forever, at least in this world. His labored breathing slowed as he recomposed himself. Then he opened his eyes cautiously and caught sight of his reflection upon the river's surface.
Gazing back at him was a tired old man who was weary of the world. His face wasted by grief. His reflection faded as a black water beetle scurried across it. Then all he could see was the murky depths.
A reckless thought seized Tsuru. Why was he allowing himself to go through this? No memory of Tao was going to bring him back. No amount of blood shed in revenge could return him. Oh Kami, why did Tao had to die and he lived?
Tsuru stared back down at the water, this time with a resolution in his heart. Suddenly the water had become inviting. After all, who wanted to live forever?
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Comments: 10
sasoriza-chan [2006-02-21 00:43:58 +0000 UTC]
This is your best yet both the art and writeing.
You make Sas cry.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
jeedang2000 In reply to sasoriza-chan [2006-02-21 01:13:42 +0000 UTC]
Aw, don't cry. (hands Sas a hankie, gives ) The story is not over yet. There's a reason I put "Ch.1" on the story. Tsuru has a long way to go to overcome his grief.
Thank you so much! You have no idea how much your fav and comment meant to me! I was having such a lousy day.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
sasoriza-chan In reply to jeedang2000 [2006-02-21 05:00:14 +0000 UTC]
I know, I just found it really touching. Tsuru did get his miracle after all (and Pai Pai turned super cute) I hope they will get to be reunited in the story.
And glad to help!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
17superfan [2006-02-20 22:24:25 +0000 UTC]
Wow, it's so sweet and sad... lovely.
(btw, good story to explain it all too)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
jeedang2000 In reply to 17superfan [2006-02-21 01:19:27 +0000 UTC]
Thank you. I was always curious of how Tsuru must have coped with the news of his brother's 'death' so I decided that this is probably what he went through.
But the story isn't over yet. I'm no doujinshi writer though, but I plan on making a series of pics that illustrate a story I'm kicking about in my mind.
In fact I got the next two chapters written and the pics to go with it. Still I need time to type them up.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
17superfan In reply to jeedang2000 [2006-02-21 18:09:47 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, it probably was, poor thing! There's another thing I can't do, illustrate my fan fiction... again, it's a bad case of hand to mind co-ordination...
I'm looking forward to seeing your future chapters, can't wait!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Moore-san In reply to Moore-san [2006-02-21 11:41:25 +0000 UTC]
Better than anything I could write, but then again I'm not creative enough to write decent stories.
The picture and the story really go well together here.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
jeedang2000 In reply to Moore-san [2006-02-21 01:25:31 +0000 UTC]
Though next time I should just double space the paragraphs apart. All I see is a block of text. Stupid DA and their text wrapping.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
jeedang2000 In reply to Moore-san [2006-02-21 01:21:04 +0000 UTC]
You think? I wasn't so sure. I felt the story was a bit rushed though. (shrugs)
Honestly, what do you think? Could have written it a little more clearer?
👍: 0 ⏩: 0